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Interview: Kevin Willmott’s CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA (2006)

March 19th, 2006 by Scott Marks

Writer, Director Kevin Willmott

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C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004)

Directed by: Kevin Willmott

Written by: Kevin Willmott

Genres: Comedy, Drama

Cast: Greg Kirsch, Renee Patrick, Molly Graham, William Willmott, Rupert Pate, Evamarii Johnson, Greg Hurd, Ryan L. Carroll, Don Carlton, Kevin McKinney, Will Averill, Arlo Kasper, Joe Bugni, Troy Moore, Jennifer Coville

Aspect Ratio: 1.33 : 1

Since the dawn of the new millennium, movies in this country have become as somber as they are readily available. It’s as though all the great comedians went off to war leaving the likes of third-rate, second-banana-wannabes Adam Sandler, Kevin Smith and Ben Stiller to entertain the troops back home. When Albert Brooks’ new film opens (and quickly closes) on just one screen, it becomes blindingly obvious just how disposable intelligent movie comedies have become.

A quick mental scan of able satires released over the past ten years yielded very few smiles. While there were a number of goofy teen spoofs that brought about unexpected pleasure (Bubble Boy, Slacker, 10 Things I Hate About You), only four satires (Freeway, Bulworth, The Second Civil War and Bamboozled) instantly came to mind. Rejoice, for this year alone nearly doubles the amount of quality reasons to laugh at the movies, and it’s only March!

With nine months left to go, we have already exceeded our projected LPY (Laughs Per-Year) quota: first Albert found comedy in the Muslim world; next we were thanked for not smoking. The smart laughs keep coming with the outrageously brilliant CSA: The Confederate States of America. I leapt at the chance tospeak with, and personally thank, the film’s writer-director Kevin Willmott.

CSA asks what would have happened had the South won the Civil War, gained control of the United States and kept slavery legal. Not since Dr. Strangelove (one of Willmott’s key inspirations), with its ballsy end-of-the-world curtain laugh has a comedy been this eager to enlighten a delusional country through laughter.

A film professor at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, Willmott devised this gutsy, ultra-low budget spoof of the history of forced racial harmony. In the exalted tradition of send-up gurus SCTV and Woody Allen’s Zelig, he imagined a meticulously detailed faux documentary special produced by a pompous pretend broadcasting network.

The obvious antecedent is Spike Lee’s Bamboozled, a blackface reworking of Mel Brooks’s bad taste Nazi laugh-getter The Producers. Lee loved what he saw when the film screened at Sundance in January of 2004, and did the right thing by lending his name to the finished product. Was this intended as a continuation of Bamboozled even before Lee signed on? The first of many of Willmott’s easy laughs indicatedthat he had heard that one before. “I started working on the script in 1997,” he remembered, “several years before Bamboozled was released.” Willmott remains quick to point out, “it became a ‘Spike Lee Presentation,’ but he had no involvement in the concept. It took us a long time to make this movie. We only had about $20,000 to work with.”

CSA’s cost would hardly cover the craft services’ tab on an average low budget studio feature. He lamented, “Hollywood, of course, would never have made this film,” When the topic turned to financing Willmott noted, “It’s very difficult to get money for a movie like this. PBS turned us down, everybody turned us down.” Funding was eventually provided through a grant from the National Black Programming Consortium and a private investor. “That’s what we did the movie with,” he said before letting loose another long, comfortable laugh. Even after its completion, the History Channel backed down, refusing to air the controversial comedy.

C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004)

Atlanta-based Turner Broadcasting seemed the likeliest target to represent the “documentary’s” telecaster, but Willmott opted instead for the British Broadcasting Service (BBS) a non-existent but real sounding network. “The Ken Burns style really helps the film’s credibility. There is something about a British voice that you just believe. They’re clearly smarter than we are,” he joked. “You put a British voice on anything and you go, ‘well, that’s gotta’ be true!’”

It was vital that each individual segment also claimed a unique look. Operating with a cast and crew of talented unpaid volunteers, Wilmott was proud to point out that, “we had worked veryhard to achieve each of those looks with literally no money.” A scratchy, sepia-tone, windowboxed print of D. W. Griffith’s The Hunt for Dishonest Abe shows a disgraced Lincoln (he never was able to free the slaves) forced to don burnt cork and book transit on Harriet Tubman’s Underground Railroad.

And what network cavalcade would be complete without commercials? CSA comes equipped with ersatz ads for such popular southern-fried products as Sambo Motor Oil and Darkie Toothpaste. The film waits until the final credits to reveal that these, and many more of the products it lampoons, were once actually massed produced in the good old U. S. of A. As recently as five years ago, Darkie was still for sale on store shelves in Japan. There was a one-letter alteration that renamed the product “Darlie,” but the company’s trademark, a headshot of a grinning picaninny stereotype, remained steadfast. “It’s a very bizarre phenomenon that’s still going on,” added Willmott before slyly finishing his thought with, “on so many levels.”

In addition to his staged parodies and fabricated newsreels, Willmott skillfully incorporates archival footage to give the film an added sense of authenticity. One of the biggest laughs comes during a commercial billboarding Beulah, a long forgotten TV show that was the first black sitcom, in addition to being a prime-time favorite among CSA viewers. Willmott agreed that Amos and Andy would have been too easy a reference. “We tried to comb what I like to call the hidden history of it all. No one knows that stuff…all real things, and we took advantage of the fact that people know so little about it.“ Once again he emphasized the need to keep a firm foothold on reality. “I wanted the humor to come from the truth of it all, out of the absurdity of our history as Americans.”

C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004)

There are passages in this film so inappropriately hilarious that had I seen it with a full house, fellow audience members would have mistaken my frequent outbursts for those belonging to a KKK recruitment officer. Willmott knew exactly what I was getting at. “How the movie functions with an audience is another example of the work we still have to do.”

Prof. Willmott never stands before a lectern; his film wisely presents audiences with a shared experience. “People need to become comfortable with their own reality of race in this country” He paused for a moment to weigh his thoughts. “The fact remains that to some, white people can’t laugh at the absurdity of it without making black people feel that they’re laughing at our pain.”

None of the ugliness is watered down. Willmott’s intention was “to show you what really happened and you’re going to have to deal with it.” Were there lines he refused to cross? “I went back and took a lot of jokes out. The criterion I judged the humor with was if I thought I was making a joke about slavery, I removed it. To me, I can stand behind all of the film’s humor.”

It is clear that honesty fuels Willmott’s satire andI was curious to hear his thoughts on the term “the ‘n’ word” and whether or not he saw it as a politically correct way to keep the word “nigger” in common usage. “That’s a slippery slope,” he sighed. “My kids hear it from their friends at school and want to use it, but they have no understanding what the word means and no connection to the history behind it. To them it’s pop culture.”

C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004)

Upon further reflection on this total disconnect from reality, he knowingly observed, “We want to jump to a color blind society without having to go through the pain of the reconciliation. If we can use the ‘n’ word on TV that means it’s over, right?” These are commanding insights coming from a guy out stumping a so-called “mockumentary.”

CSA obviously has a great deal to do with race, but the messages don’t stop there. Willmott stresses, “It has to do with the war, gay rights, immigration, and all the things that are anti-freedom.” His otherwise laid-back laugh suddenly takes on a nervous edge when asked how the film will play in Bush country. “It probably won’t. So much of the time Americans live in distraction. We’re told not to think about anything.”

While the overall reaction has been favorable, CSA defines the type of film to which everybody brings their own set of values. People have asked Willmott “Why is this important today?” and “Why are you even talking about these things?” “Well,” Willmott sighed, “you kind of have to be connected to things a bit in order to make those connections.”

Get ready limb, here I climb: CSA: The Confederate States of America, is one of the brightest, funniest, most politically incorrect parody machines of the past forty years. We’re talking state-of-the-art SCTV-level satire with wall-to-wall Blazing Saddles-sized guffaws.

One of Wilmott’s prime comedic influences was Blazing Saddles’ co-author Richard Pryor. “He was always so brutally honest about himself, and the world, black folks and white folks, race and everything else.” If that was the level of satire Kevin Willmott set his sights on, he handily splintered his targets.

Rating: ★★★★½

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Oscar® 2006

March 6th, 2006 by Scott Marks

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The 78th Annual Academy Awards ®

The opening bit which showed previous hosts declining this year’s duties was amazing; much funnier than any of Billy Crystal’s song parodies.

Jon Stewart got off a few zingers, but it took forever for the audience to fork over some applause. The funniest moment came when a series of Western clips were brilliantly edited out of context to give the appearance that Brokeback was far from Hollywood’s first gay cowboy picture. The shots of cavalrymen staring at a bedded and bruised Claude Jarman, Jr. in Ford’s Rio Grande drew the evening’s biggest laugh in my house. Attempts at political humor soon gave way to a Johnny Carson-like patter.

I love George Clooney, although Three Kings made a much stronger political statement than both of his 2005 offerings, and was a bit put-off by his sanctimonious acceptance speech. Patting the Academy for giving Hattie McDaniel an Oscar ® at a time when “most blacks were sitting in the back of the theater.” Remember that Hattie won her statue for playing a slave in a Civil War drama. Her acceptance speech, where she hopes that she is a “credit to her race” was written for her by white men. How many years after Hattie did another black win, and then how many years after that? (After his speech, they quickly cut to Jamie Foxx for a politically correct reaction shot.)

This year’s most violently insane wrinkle: Normally they give a winner 60 seconds to speak before Bill Conti begins playing them off. This year, the music started the second the winners did. Bad form! How much more disrespectful can the Academy get? You’re worthy of an award, but not a minute-and-a-half to accept it. F Gil Cates!

The two guys with the matching funny bow ties who accepted for “Wallace and Gromit” were jag**fs.

Stewart’s Scientology crack was as gutsy as it was well-placed.

Great to see animation scholar John Canemaker pick up an award.

That foreign piece of crap Rachel Weisz ignored Oscar ® winning American Mickey Rooney’s attempts to offer congratulations.

I don’t know what was more pathetic: Lauren Bacall’s fumbling with the cue cards or Chuck Workman’s reminder-to-buy-the-DVD film noir clip compilation. (I didn’t mind the window-boxing, but the added screen text (“Sweeping you at breakneck pace!”) was nonsensical. Do your homework and find authentic clips. Stewart’s lampooning of Government commercials was much sharper. As for Ms. Bacall, either the cue card guy wasn’t up to speed or she pulled a Sinatra and refused to wear her glasses. Either way, it provided a great douch-chill. Workman has long since lost any sense of relevance and should be put out to pasture. I would bet that he had nothing to do with the gay cowboy gag reel.

The guys with the stuffed penguins made the bow-tied cartoon jagoffs look cutting edge.

Let’s pause and take a moment for Sam Jackson to pick up the self-aggrandizing right where George Clooney left off. “Hollywood has never been afraid to challenge our beliefs.” Little Richard could stand in the same frame with blonde sex-pot Jayne Mansfield only because everybody knew that Richard liked boys and posed no threat. Hollywood allowed Sidney Poitier to act, but you can only put him near the white women if they are blind or nuns. What was the last Hollywood film that really challenged you? Of the 25 “best” pictures I saw last year, only The Upside of Anger and Batman Begins qualify as Hollywood films; everything else was either independently financed or foreign. Crash is as challenging as an eighth grave civics class.

Too Effing Funny #1: The cutaway of Mickey Rooney nodding along with the Academy president’s speech. To be used out of context forever.

Salma Hayek looked absolutely stunning!

Kudos to the beautifully designed wrap-around CinemaScope screen behind Yitzak Perlman, and thanks to Mr. Perlman for mercifully condensing this year’s best scores nominees.

Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep gave an over-lapping, uniquely Altmanesque introduction to the director who picked up a giveaway award. Best kept secret in Hollywood – Ten years ago Robert Altman had a heart transplant. Whoever thought that Clint Eastwood would eventually look exactly like Robert Altman?

The It’s Hard out Here to be a Pimp number could be the most embarrassing musical Oscar moment since Rob Lowe met Snow White. Oscar decided to give it an urban feel by having whores, gang-bangers and other assorted ghetto types interpretatively parade past 36 Mafia. You can’t blame them. After all, Shaft is the closest the Academy came to honoring, let alone seeing, any films in the blazploitation genre.

Streep & Tomlin’s overlapping satire was quickly outdone by the 36 Mafia’s acceptance speech.

Breasts attached to a dim-bulb, Jennifer Garner almost hit the deck.

Too Effing Funny #2: Tsotsi in a tux.

Jon Stewart’s crowning line of the evening: “Martin Scorsese, Zero Oscars. 36 Mafia, One.” After that quip, he is welcome back any time.

Ang Lee looks as constipated as he directs. One facial expression. Sara Silverman noted at the Independent Spirit awards, “when my boyfriend (Jimmy Kimmel) smiles really big he looks like Ang Lee.”

Remember the kids toy where you’d use a magnet to move metal shavings across a piece of clear plastic and give the cartoon bald guy hair? John Travolta went to the same barber.

sh*tberg claps like he’s Emperor Hirahito watching Empire of the Sun.

Hilary Swank has two Oscars and now Reese Witherspoon. What the hell were they thinking?

Best thought of the night came from Dustin Hoffman. Using the old showbiz adage “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” he pointed out that that’s the only way to adapt a book: break it and fix it for the screen.

Larry McMurtry, looking like Orville Reddenbacker with a fresh weave, came dressed like a Polack at the Farmer’s Market. To his credit, he was the only male to allow his female co-acceptor first crack at the mike.

Dudley Nichols, Steve Shagan, Abby Mann, Steve Tesich and now Paul Haggis.

Looking more like an Asian businessman who should be accepting a gold watch for years of loyal service, Ang Lee’s speech was a fractured as his film’s narrative. He looked down at the Oscar he so hotly anticipated and trampled his well-rehearsed: “Ah! I wish I know how to quit you. Ha! Ha! Ha!” He later observed that the film taught us about, “not just all the gay mens and women whose love is denied by society.” Right!
Judging by the look on his face, nobody was more surprised than Jack Nicholson (doing his best John Huston impersonation) that Crash won best picture.

The good news, it was a clean sweep against Munich. Honestly, I’d have preferred it over Crash. Sentimental, coincidental, haphazard, obvious, and downright sick-making, after I saw it I knew that it was going to be prime Oscar® bait. The Academy had no choice but to champion a film that represented all repressed minorities, not just one.

After the show, Ang Lee and particularly screenwriter/producer Karen Osanna both seemed indignant that their film lost.

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Brokeback Mountain PEZ

March 3rd, 2006 by Scott Marks

Every once in a while, and eGay auction comes along that splashes your tonsils in ways they’ve never been coated before…

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Sperm Flavored PEZ

These custom made PEZ dispensers of Jake Gyllenhaal (Jack Twist) and Heath Ledger (Ennis Del Mar) have been sculpted from Sculpey Clay and meticulously hand painted with care. The dispensers have “PEZ” outlined in fabulous rhinestones. Comes in three unique flavors: Protein Rush, Bernaise Sauce and Salt Block.

eGay

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