MARIE ANTIONETTE / Sofia Coppola (2006)

October 10th, 2006 by Scott Marks

Sophia Coppola directs Kirsten Dunst in MARIE ANTIONETTE (2006)

RicksMovie.com your source for affordable movie posters!

Marie Antoinette (2006)

Directed by: Sofia Coppola

Written by: Sofia Coppola

Genres: Biography, Drama, History

Cast: Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzman, Judy Davis, Rip Torn, Rose Byrne, Asia Argento, Molly Shannon, Shirley Henderson, Danny Huston, Marianne Faithfull, Mary Nighy, Sebastian Armesto, Jamie Dornan, Aurore Clément, Guillaume Gallienne

Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1

Gidget Goes Versailles

A lightweight attempt on the part of Sofia Coppola to let the sets and costumes tell a story while simultaneously trying to make French history digestible for the TRL generation. It’s an embarrassment to the family name in addition to being one of the dullest historical epics of recent vintage.

Like any loyal TRL viewer, Sofia’s Valley Queen likes to shop for shoes, eat candy, sport big hair, spend money, get high, utilize dogs as fashion accessories and party till the wee small hours. (I didn’t know that Ms. Antionette had a starring role in The Godfather Part III.) This kid would be equally at home in Versailles as she would the Paris Hilton.

Basically, the only thing expected from the 19-year-old Queen is a male heir. Sadly, her King appears more interested in the stable boys than his husbandly duties in the royal boudoir. It takes forever for the couple to finally conceive; well into the second act and Louis still hasn’t spilled the royal seed. The last two reels give us a Reader’s Digest condensed glimpse into the last 18 or so years of her life. (We are spared her beheading at age 38.) James Dean’s Shinola aging process in Giant is more believable.

At half the length of Barry Lyndon this packs ten times the tedium. Stanley Kubrick and Ryan O’Neal took a lot of heat for the latter’s anemic portrayal of Thackeray’s Irish rogue, but it’s Hitchcock and Stewart compared to how Coppola directs Kirsten Dunst. Ms. Dunst has already proven a flair for comedy (Drop Dead Gorgeous, Dick, Small Soldiers), in addition to her star turn as Marion Davies in Peter Bogdanovich’s overlooked period piece The Cat’s Meow. It would be unfair to heap all of the blame on her doorstep. You try giving a performance composed almost entirely of reaction shots.

In a film loaded with them, the major disappointment is Jason Schwartzman’s Louis XVI. Forget Jack Black and Will Ferrell. From Rushmore to Slackers to Shopgirl, Schwartzman best embodies the current comedic breed of anxious and unpredictable nerd. Lost under a powdered wig and period accoutrements, 90% of the time his line readings are barely audible as he appears to have been stung by a hammer. Come to think of it, most of the sparse, colorless dialogue is delivered in whispers.

If the film is crammed with anachronisms, at least Sofia comes by them honestly. Remember Michael Corleone’s haircut in The Godfather Part III? Do we really need the Kevin Shields remix of Bow Wow Wow’s I Want Candy underscoring Marie and her pals pigging out on various confections? The least they could have done was use the Strangeloves’ version.

Shocking as it may seem, the French government actually granted special permission to film in the Palace of Versailles. Didn’t they get a translation of the script? People are sure to be impressed with the sets, but do not confuse pretty pictures with screen direction. Considering the location, there’s no such thing as a bad camera angle.

Off with Sofia Coppola’s head for daring to waste the public’s time with this bubblegum biopic.

Rating: