GRINDHOUSE / Robert Rodriguez & Quentin Tarantino (2007)

April 9th, 2007 by Scott Marks

Grindhouse (2007)

Planet Terror

Written & Directed by: Robert Rodriguez

Cast: Rose McGowan, Marley Shelton, Freddy Rodriguez & Josh Brolin

Death Proof

Written & Directed by: Quentin Tarantino

Cast: Kurt Russell, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Vanessa Ferlito & Jordan Ladd

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Nowhere in the press notes does the normally verbose Quentin Tarantino properly define the term “grindhouse.” True, they were run down neighborhood picture palaces equipped with antique projectors that literally “grinded out” the prints.As soon as one film ended, the grindhouse would go straight to trailers and/or short subjects followed immediately by the second (or third, or forth) feature. The lack of an intermission is what put the grind in grindhouses.

The majority of the schlock that inspired Grindhouse is better than anything in the film If the goal of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino was to make a couple of bad movies, they win. If you spend three-plus hours watching this bore fest, you lose.

The Rodriguez half is unwatchable. He came up with the idea of a great money shot, a hot legless chick fitted with a prosthetic machine gun whirling around the floor killing everything that crossed her path, and worked backwards. Along the way he pads the proceedings with endless castration gags, uninspired zombies, and enough sub-juvenile material to choke a Stephen King devotee.

Battered prints were a grindhouse staple and Rodriguez spared all effort in his attempt to give his film that slashed-up look. When Orson Welles wanted to “age” footage for Kane’s newsreel, he literally dragged his film across the RKO parking lot. Here, digital scratches and splices (that don’t match from shot to shot) line the print. I never thought I’d live to see the day where I longed for an enormous yellow or green Eastmancolor gash.

Rodriguez already made this film fifty times better. In 1994, Showtime commissioned a bunch of young directors to each remake a classic American International Pictures programmer for their Rebel Highway series. Even though the majority of the installments are available on DVD, Roadracers is not. Fans desiring to see this material properly done, in addition to how far Rodriguez has fallen since teaming with Tarantino, need to track down a VHS copy.

One good special effect (a titled, low flying helicopter giving some extras the Vic Morrow treatment) does not an exploitation film make. Even New York Times critic and self-professed QT fan admitted that he wouldn’t sit though the RR segment again to get to the Tarantino.

There isn’t much of a reward. The Tarantino half is only marginally better. At least one of his actors (Kurt Russell) decided to hand in a performance. There are, of course, plenty of the director’s patented (and endless) pop culture round tables, this time delivered by a band of Faster, Pussycat…Kill! Kill!-inspired babes. Note to QT: We got it the first time. No need to have one of your bimbos parade around in a FPKK t-shirt.

And don’t think that camera whore/pastiche master Tarantino didn’t cast himself in bit roles for each segment. Looking more and more like the love spawn of Grandpa Munster and puppeteer Wayland Flowers’ Madame, QT couldn’t wait to wink at the audience by playing two of the most misogynistic characters in a film rife with woman hating.

There has also been a lot of talk about the fake intermission trailers one of which, Werewolf Women of the S. S., was guest-directed by Rob Zombie. They’re cute. The climactic car chase tribute to Vanishing Point, featuring real-life stuntwoman Zoe Bell, is truly spectacular, but it comes almost three hours into the picture.

The good news is Grindhouse barely took in $12 million the first weekend causing the Weinstein bigwigs to consider a two part reissue along the lines of the Kill Bills. You do better turning your living room into a home grindhouse by renting Roadracers and Zombie’s House of 1,000 Corpses

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