Dig a Hole: Robert Goulet Leaves Us In Autumn

October 30th, 2007 by Scott Marks

Robert Goulet’s quest for a replacement lung turned out to be an impossible dream.

Mr. Goulet died today at the age of 73.

Born in Canada, Goulet gained popularity in the fifties hosting his own show, General Electric’s Showtime. His good looks, rich baritone voice and Broadway debut in Camelot led to countless appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show where he became an overnight sensation in the States.

He fit the part of a matinee idol, but he couldn’t make it as one. After a couple of duds (Honeymoon Hotel for Metro and at Universal opposite Sandra Dee in I’d Rather Be Rich) Goulet’s performances over the next 15 years were relegated to nightclubs and the small screen.

Louis Malle’s casting of Goulet as “Himself” in Atlantic City was a stroke of genius. Long before the films of Zucker-Abrahms-Zucker transformed celebrity has beens into a cottage industry, Malle slyly played off the entertainer’s tuxedo-clad presence as a symbol of decay in an entertainment mecca.

Malle knew that Goulet had long ago mastered the art of sincere insincerity. As the wrecking ball levels a building, Bob’s snazzy rendition of the title tune ( I’m glad to see you’re born again, Atlantic City my old friend…), ironically highlights the blight.

And speaking of born again, Goulet did an abrupt about face in the 1980’s. After a highly public divorce from his second wife Carol Lawrence ended in cries of spousal abuse and a longstanding bout with the bottle, Goulet turned his life around by finding The Lord! Goulet could frequently be seen on talk shows sporting a crucifix around his neck bigger than the one Jesus was nailed to.

On one such occasion, Goulet joined Don Rickles, Tommy LaSorda and WLS-TV sportscaster Tim Weigel for a taping of Kup’s Show. Kup waited for the most inopportune moment to bring up the subject of alcoholism. With the panel and crew still cracking up from one of Rickles’ barbs, Kup turned to Goulet and said, “Robert, you’ve done a very great thing in your life, and it’s something you publicly espouse on. You stopped drinking.”

As the gang giggled on Goulet thanked Kup for acknowledging his struggle. Big boob Kup couldn’t take the hint. “Well, there must be more to it than that,” he blubbered.

“There is,” Goulet patiently replied, “but I choose not to talk about it.”

The laughter stopped.

In an attempt to smooth things over, bigger boob LaSorda shattered the silence with, “I had a player like that once. I never knew he was a drunk until the one day he showed up sober.”

Even a red hot Don Rickles failed to get a bigger laugh that night.

Tags: Obituary, Robert Goulet

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4 Responses to “Dig a Hole: Robert Goulet Leaves Us In Autumn”

Rob on October 31st, 2007 12:25 pm

There’s a famous clip of Andy Kaufman on “The Mike Douglas Show” that has Andy singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone” while he’s drumming the melody on a drum cymbal.

I’ll never forget the reaction shot they got of a flabbergasted Robert Goulet watching Kaufman end the song with a high pitched yodel.

Rest in peace, you talentless hack.
Scott Marks on October 31st, 2007 1:39 pm

Nice to see someone else vent for a change!
John Schultz on October 31st, 2007 1:56 pm

Where is that clip? I gotta see it! In the words of Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra reacting to Luther Campbell as not being talented, “No. Bob Goulet. That’s not talented!” Ironic isn’t it that his last TV appearance was crawling around on the ceiling in a Emerald Nut commercial.
Scott Marks on October 31st, 2007 4:01 pm

The operative word is “crawling.” He must have begged his agent to get him commercial work.