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Bring Back the Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas Specials!!!

December 17th, 2007 by Scott Marks

why-tv-was-invented-the-kathie-jew-gifford-christmas-special_-1995.jpg

It’s why television was invented.

I’m not sure how many of these there are. The Internet Movie Database lists only one, but somewhere in my archives I have at least 3 on tape. I need a digitally remastered box set.

They were vile. Kathie Lee Gifford (nee: Epstein) made Bob Hope’s Bagful Of Christmas Cheer look like Pasolini’s The Gospel According to St. Matthew. Each year she’d trot out her adorable moppets Cody and Cassidy as poor, emasculated Frank stood in the background looking like a lummox trapped inside a pint-sized version of It’s a Small World re-staged for The Gay Ice Capades.

The list of guest stars (the type you’d expect to see during a 3 am Branson, MO remote on The Telethon) made one yearn for a Love Boat passenger list. Lots of Christian singers like Amy Grant and Aaron Neville and maybe even Kathy Mattea if I knew who the hell she was.

It was slick, self-aggrandizing showbiz pandering at its finest. Kathie Lee beaming God, the holidays and Vegas all into your living room with even more Jesus mentions than your average Grammy acceptance speech.

The most memorable Christmas gift arrived the year Frank had his fling with Suzanne Johnson. Kathie was pissed and wanted the world to know. A downtrodden Giff was sentenced to spend the last two minutes of the show on a couch with the kids. For a second I actually felt sorry for the slug. All he was allowed to utter was the curtain line, “Good night everybody.” I studied it more times than the Warren Commission did the Zapruder footage.

If you hear of reruns of any of Ms. Gifford’s holiday extravaganzas, please drop a comment. Sadly, my mind is a bit hazy in the idiosyncrasy department, so any specific remembrances on your part would also be greatly appreciated. The normally reliable You Tube offered little more that a couple of clips from the direct-to-DVD Kathie Lee’s Rock ‘n Tots Cafe: A Christmas ‘Giff.’ At the risk of sounding like Ethan Edwards, whatever you do, don’t go in!

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2 Responses to “Bring Back the Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas Specials!!!”

  1. Rob on December 17th, 2007 7:55 am

    There’s two clips on YouTube from the Kathie Lee Christmas specials - both featured Amy Grant.

    The first clip is Amy simply singing “It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”, introduced by Kathie Lee in front of an auditorium audience - ho hum:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ879l4rRqc

    The second, BETTER clip has Amy and then-hubby Gary Chapman (who she dumped in a Nashville second for second hubby Vince Gill) singing her horrible Christmas song “Tennessee Christmas”.

    This clip has the obligitory fireplace, the sweatered kiddies huddled around munching cookies, everything’s decked out to a T.

    There’s a shot towards the beginning of Kathie Lee sitting with her dog next to her parents on a couch. Frank must have wandered onto the set because her facial expression is worth the price of admission!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sohfr3dcEf8

  2. Scott Marks on December 17th, 2007 11:25 am

    I had to watch them with the sound off. A little Amy Grant goes a long way. To quote Telly Savalas in “The Dirty Dozen,” “Keep that wailing slut quiet!!!” It was great to see Michie Mader, Kathie Lee’s talentless sister who wants so much to glom on to her sister’s fame. And Frank’s expression has nothing to do with surprise. He’s in the early stages of dementia.

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