How the Jews Spend Christmas
December 25th, 2007 by Scott Marks
When I was in my teens, Timmy Murphy asked, “You know what my uncle says Jews do on Christmas day?” I hadn’t heard this one, yet. “No, my ruddy-faced only goyish kid on an all-Jewish block,” I thought. “What does your hard-drinking Uncle Roy say the Jews do on Christmas day?” Timmy smiled, threw out his chest and snarled. “They stay home and count their money.” No, Timmy. We put dead trees in our living rooms, life-sized illuminated Sear’s Santas on our front lawns, drink boilermakers to commemorate the birth of our Lord and Savior and pay retail for the gifts.
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Quotes, Quips and Fun Facts
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Fun Fact: The following is from a press release for the movie Duck, "starring one of America's most versatile actors, Phillip Baker Hall...In the film "Duck" an old man discovers the will to live because of a duck who believes him to be his mother."
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FYI - that isn’t some Darlene Love soundalike that Robert Smigel used for that fantastic parody of Phil Spector’s Christmas tunes.
That IS Darlene Love herself! My level of respect for her went up twenty times after I heard that fact!
I still can’t bring myself to forgive her for the “Lethal Weapon” trilogy though…
Screw Diana Ross! Darlene Love was the most powerful female voice in 60s R&R. I don’t know it for a fact, but I’d bet that Paul Schaffer, a longtime Love devotee, penned the lyrics.
I think it was Robert “Triumph the Insult Comic Dog” Smeigel who wrote the lyrics. His TV Funhouse cartoons are the ONLY thing worth watching on SNL.
The one about the Disney Vaults is the funniest thing I’ve seen on television in years.
I love it when they find the rotting corpse of Jim Henson in the vaults. “He wouldn’t sell! He wouldn’t sell!!!”
I highly recommend the TV Funhouse DVD. Smigel is a beautiful genius.