OPERATION MYSPACE set to waterboard our troops with Jessica Simpson & The Pussycat Dolls
February 29th, 2008 by Scott Marks
“We’re off on the road to Kuwait-ee, this Humvee is rough on the spine…”
The boys at MySpace, a division of News Corp.’s Fox Interactive Media, have come up with a concert aimed at entertaining America’s troops in Kuwait. And you thought Abu Ghraib was a torture chamber?
Dubbed Operation MySpace, the cavalcade will feature pop acts The Pussycat Dolls and Jessica Simpson, rock bands Disturbed and Filter, electronic artist DJ Z-Trip, and comedian Carlos Mencia. Suddenly the Gold Diggers, Phyllis Diller, Joey Heatherton and Jerry Colonna sound good.
In a statement, MySpace co-founder Tom Anderson said “For years troops stationed all over the world have utilized MySpace as a lifeline to communicate with their loved ones back home. I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to thank them in person and bring along the entire MySpace community.”
Emulsion Compulsion is pleading with President Bush to put an end to the war before this heinous assault takes place. Haven’t our troops suffered enough without the help of Jessica Simpson and The Pussycat Dolls? “We’re so excited to be performing for the troops and supporting our Armed Forces overseas,” a statement from the over-glorified lap-dancers read. “They’d better get ready…the desert’s about to get a lot hotter!” Can you feel the vomit at the back of your throat begin to rise? No wonder “singer” Carmit Bachar quit the group!
For those not fortunate enough to know any Kuwaiti scalpers, the March 10 show will be live-streamed on the Web starting at 11 a.m. Pacific time, right here!
Tags: Concert, Jessica Simpson, Kuwait, My Space, MySpace, Operation MySpace, The Pussycat DollsFiled Under News
Barack Obama wants big-eared Will Smith to portray him in movie
February 29th, 2008 by Scott Marks
Who’s sane?
If a movie is ever made about his life in politics, Barry Obama wants Will Smith to star because they both have enormous ears.
Yahoo News quotes the democratic front runner as saying, “”Will Smith and I have talked about this, because he has the ears. He’s better looking than me, but we both have those (ears).”
This “controversy” was sparked by a Zogby/Svedka poll that found 33 per cent of voters would choose Denzel Washington to play Obama, followed by Smith in second place.
Ah, if only David Lean was alive and black. Check out these ashtray-sized listening devices:
Smith, who is currently working on a live-action remake of Dumbo could not be reached for comment.
P. S. to Barry Obama: Get the job first and then worry about a big screen adaptation.
Tags: Barack Hussein Obama, Barack Obama, Barry Obama, Big Ears, Will SmithFiled Under News
Do you look like Heath Ledger? If so, Hollywood is calling!
February 29th, 2008 by Scott Marks
Heath Ledger in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Poor Terry Gilliam can never seem to catch a break. Remember all the difficulties he had during the filming of Brazil (1985)? Gilliam tangled with studio producers over how the picture should end; the director wanted it to be downbeat while the producers insisted on the usual Hollywood sap. The studio won out and a 94 minute cut was released to theaters. Gilliam threatened to disown the film which was eventually rereleased at its proper running time of 142 min. Gilliam became so stressed that he temporarily lost the use of his legs for several weeks.
In 1999, he began work on The Man Who Killed Don Quixote with Johnny Depp, Vanessa Paradis and Jean Rochefort. The shooting halted after only a couple of days when Jean Rochefort suffered a herniated disc (that prevented him from riding a horse) and a flood leveled the set. The only thing left over from the doomed production is a $15 million insurance claim. Both Depp and Gilliam are unable to revive the project because the insurance company owns the rights to the script.
Even if he wins he loses. The director was J.K. Rowling first choice for Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001), but Warner Brothers studios refused to even consider him opting instead for the “more family friendly ” Chris Columbus.
Gilliam reportedly tinkered for months with The Brother Grimm while Miramax repeatedly shuffled opening dates. According to imdb.com, “In June 2004, a stalemate occurred between Bob Weinstein and Terry Gillam over the final cut of the film. Terry Gilliam decided to place the film on hold for six months.” He went on to do Tideland, which he and Harvey Weinstein also quarreled over, and came back to finish this feature in January 2005.
In January of 2007, Gilliam announced that his next feature would be The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. One year later production ground to a halt when the film’s lead, Heath Ledger, died from an accidental overdose. According to Variety, Ledger’s participation was what got the film financed in the first place.
Ain’t It Cool News reports that instead of finishing the film with a CG Ledger, Jude Law, Colin Farrell and Johnny Depp have been recruited to replace the late actor. Cinematical quotes a studio insider reportedly saying: “There is a point in the film when Heath falls through a magic mirror. He could change into another character after that and that is where Johnny would come in.”
Gilliam still needs someone to double all of the actor’s blue screen work and a request for Ledger lookalikes has been sent out to actors’ agents.
It reads: “Please only suggest actors who look like Heath Ledger and are between five foot 11 inches and six foot three inches.”
Tags: Heath Ledger, Keith Ledger, Keith_Ledger, Terry Gilliam, The Imaginarium of Doctor ParnassusFiled Under News
Dig A Hole: Robert DoQui, veteran character actor and member of Robert Altman’s stock company
February 28th, 2008 by Scott Marks
With Lily Tomlin in Robert Altman’s “Nashville” (1975)
Versatile character actor Robert DoQui died February 9 in Los Angeles. He was 74.
Mr. DoQui was born in Stillwater, Oklahoma and later attended Langston University on a music scholarship. After a four year hitch in the army, DoQui headed east to pursue a career in acting. He first appeared on television as Lieutenant Jackson in The Invisible Enemy episode of The Outer Limits. After bit roles in The Cincinnati Kid and The Fortune Cookie, DoQui spent the remainder of the 60s appearing on some of the decade’s most popular television shows.
I Dream of Jeannie, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Family Affair, Get Smart, The Mod Squad, Gunsmoke and Mission: Impossible are just a few of the series that the prolific actor worked on. In the early 70s, with the blaxploitation movement just warming up, DoQui landed roles in The Man, starring James Earl Jones as the first black President and Coffy where Pam Grier was hot, black and thoroughly capable of creaming you.
The closest he came to an art house vogue was appearances in three (Nashville, Buffalo Bill and the Indians and Short Cuts) Robert Altman films. DoQui is probably best know for playing the gruff, by the books Sergeant Warren Reed in all three RoboCop films.
His brush with the big screen was fleeting. For every feature film appearance there were a dozen TV roles including Maude, Quincy, Barnaby Jones, Punky Brewster, Benson, The Facts of Life, E.R. and Party of Five. In addition to live action gigs, DoQui’s distinctive voice brought him work on the animated series The Harlem Globetrotters, Scooby Doo and Batman.
DoQui served for ten years on the Board of Directors of the Screen Actors Guild, advocating for increased participation of women and minority groups in the media.
He is survived by his life partner Mittie Lawrence; four sons; a daughter; his 96 year old mother and 10 grandchildren.
Tags: Character Actor, NASHVILLE, Obituary, Robert Altman, Robert DoQuiFiled Under Obituaries
Dig A Hole: Pedantic rhetoritician/uber conservative William F. Buckley, Jr.
February 27th, 2008 by Scott Marks
William F. Buckley Jr., political commentator, languid talk show host, publisher, Ivy Leaguer, harpsichordist and progeniture of the post-FDR American conservative movement died today.Buckley’s body was found by his cook in his home in Stamford, Conn. The cause of death was unknown, but he had been ill with emphysema for many years. He was 82.
As a child, William F. Buckley’s Firing Line meant two things: big words and time to change the channel! His saponaceous, reptilian mien, wontedly predisposed to extortionate facial paroxysm, left me thunderstruck Winsomeness notwithstanding, I stood impuissant, unable to osmose one word wrested from the recondite realpolitik outcrier’s sportive and lubricious tongue. (I think I just crashed Thesaurus.com.)
I began softening to his presence in my early teens when Buckley became somewhat of a pop culture icon. Any friend of Rowan & Martin’s Laugh In was a friend of mine and if nothing else, David Frye’s uncanny mimicry eased my childhood trepidity by at least making Buckley fun to watch.
My first inclination that Buckley was an enemy to right-thinking liberals everywhere came while watching Woody Allen’s Bananas. In an attempt to blend in at a local newsstand, Fielding Melish tops off a stack of pornographic reading material with a copy of Buckley’s National Review.
Buckley soon became a regular on the talk show circuit frequently doing battle with those of opposing political views. (Prior to going Bananas, Buckley appeared on a segment of The Kraft Music Hall named Woody Allen Looks at 1967.) His small screen battles with Gore Vidal became the stuff of legends. Johnny Carson loved having the right wing’s erudite big enchilada on his show. Aunt Blabbly was a big fan of brains by association.
Bill Buckley was also a guest on The Mike Douglas Show. Dust off those tapes! Wouldn’t you love to see the smartest guy in many rooms hold court with an imbecile incapable of uttering one word that wasn’t spelled out for him on idiot cards?
Born Nov. 24, 1925, in New York City, William Frank Buckley Jr. was the sixth of 10 children fathered by a multimillionaire lawyer with oil holdings in seven countries. Young Bill spent his early childhood in France and England, in exclusive Roman Catholic schools.
His prominent family also included his brother James, who became a one-term Senator from
New York in the 1970s and his socialite wife, Pat. The couple married in 1950, the same year Buckley graduated from Yale. Ms. Buckley died in April 2007. Their son, Christopher is the acclaimed author of Thank You for Smoking.
After Firing Line ended its 33 year run in 1999, Buckley began slowly shying away from the media spotlight. He did continue to make appearance of talk shows as late as last year when he guested with both Jon Stewart and Charlie Rose.
“I loved your daughter’s performance in ‘Carrie.’”
Filed Under Obituaries
Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch to be auctioned off to the highest bidder
February 27th, 2008 by Scott Marks
Q: What did Emmanuel Lewis say to the hovering helicopter pilot?
A: NEVER LAND!!!
Unless Jacko can come up with the $24,525,906.61 he still owes on the Neverland Ranch, the gloved one’s Pleasure Island will be auctioned off to the highest bidder. The Santa Maria Times has learned that Financial Title Co. filed the notice of trustee’s sale with Santa Barbara County Superior Court, setting the auction date for March 19.
The Fox News website said a five-page notice of trustees sale stated that Jackson was “in default of a deed of trust” and “Unless you take action to protect your property it may be sold at a public sale.”
In 2006 authorities ordered the property to be boarded up and fined Jackson for failing to pay his 70 employees or maintain proper insurance. The pop superstar has not lived in the Ranch since 2005 when he was acquitted of all charges after being put on trial over allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior towards young boys.
Telegraph.co.uk noted, “At his trial, defence lawyers described Neverland as a fantasy-land where children from underprivileged areas would spend the day playing as Jackson did his creative thinking from atop a tree.”
When Jackson acquired the approximately 3,000 acre estate in 1987 he quickly installed a private amusement park complete with a Ferris wheel, merry-go-round, spider, sea dragon, wave swinger, super slide, dragon wagon kiddie roller coaster, bumper cars and the pop star’s favorite attraction, his zipper. Neverland also housed a well-stocked and fully operational zoo. All of the ranch’s furnishings and assorted fairground items would also be put on the auction block.
In addition to acting as an oasis for children, the Neverland Ranch also hosted numerous celebrity parties including the storybook wedding of Liz Taylor and Larry Fortensky.
Who would have guessed that Michael Jackson would belong to the more than 1 percent of US households that were in some stage of foreclosure during 2007? Certainly not Michu or Bubbles the Chimp.
Filed Under News
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