Vote for a Stooge on Super Tuesday!
February 5th, 2008 by Scott Marks
Listen you knuckleheads, since there’s been a lamebrain in office for the past 8 years why not keep the momentum going by replacing Bush with a real Stooge? Forget about impeachment as a form of punishment. If Larry acts out of turn by sending thousands more American soldiers to be slaughtered, just slap him a few times, poke him in the eyes and pull out a swatch of hair.
Even though Laura, Hillary and Condi pose a triple threat, they have nothing on Stooge women like Aggie, Maggie and Baggie that would frequent the White House. Larry has a thick pubic mound atop his head (unlike Obama) and gosh only knows how much better the Stooge in the middle would look in a pants suit than Hillary. And when was the last time either Barack or Hillary serenaded you with a violin solo? Send Larry to Iraq, have him play a few bars of Pop Goes the Easel for our boys and watch the bodies pile up.
I’m warning you, our country is in trouble and we need a Stooge to guide us. I don’t know about you, but I am voting the straight Stooge ticket, which I guess leaves Joe “Not So Hard” Besser out.
Tags: Election, Larry Fine, President, Presidental Election, Super Tuesday, The 3 Stooges, The Three Stooges, VotingShare: 
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5 Responses to “Vote for a Stooge on Super Tuesday!”
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It has to be Larry. Moe is obviously a hawk-ish, ill-tempered neo-con; Curly and Shemp would, in Clinton-esque form, let their various appetites distract them from duty; Curly Joe DeRita makes Richard Gephardt look exciting and Joe Besser makes Joe Lieberman look like a street tough. Besides, every true Stooge fan knows Larry is the subtle but essential secret to their genius.
It’s about time we had a very Fine president.
How right you are. Curly and Shemp were fleeting. Larry is eternal. Now hurry up and get dressed applehead, the girls’ll be here soon.
I dunno, boys. I’m votin’ Moe. Moe would take Osama Bin Laden out of his cave by the hair sayin’, “C’mere, you…” Moe is a leader. Larry is a follower. Vote Moe 2008! (Paid for friends of Moe)
Sending Moe to kill Bin Laden is like using kerosene to put out a fire. Larry’s the man to kill that rat, I’m warning you! First, he would study a map carefully…very carefully to find the best route across the Hot Sea, Tot Sea, Bay of Rum and Great Mitten. Larry would then dress as Moronica, worm her…his way into Osama’s heart and sabatoogey him with the old 81C. A blinded Osama would then run towards Larry who, at just the right moment, sticks out his fist (to coincide with the sound of one thump on a kettle drum) and connects with the dictator’s gut. Laughter ensues when Larry head-butts the fascist falafel-eater out the window and to his certain death and an even more certain “UHHHHNH!”
PS: Moe has no friends.
Oh, sure. If you want a carefully thought out plan…
P.S. Moe doesn’t need friends.