Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon in less than 3 Weeks — TIMPANI! OH, YEAH!!!
August 14th, 2008 by Scott Marks
A round trip ticket to Marvelous!
Labor Day is, as Andy Williams would say, the most wonderful time of the year! It’s Christmas, New Year’s, The 4th of July and Pesach all rolled into one because it’s the one weekend out of the year that I am guaranteed to see JEEEEEEERRY!
The 43rd annual love-in will originate for the third year in a row from the marvelous South Point Hotel, Casino & Spa in marvelous, marvelous Las Vegas, Nev. There will be a lot to talk about on this year’s ‘Thon. Do you think Jerry will goof on the recent financial tsouris sidekick Ed McMahon has had to endure? OH, YEAH! Will there be a tearful tribute to commemorate the recent loss of the disorderly heart surgeon and Jerry’s personal physician for almost 40 years, Dr. Michael DeBakey? OH, YEAH!! Will Norm Crosby wow the crowd with his flair for malaprop? OH, NO!!!
Sadly, Norm appears to be the only remnant of the old guard scheduled to appear on this year’s Extra-Special Special. No Rip Taylor, Sam Butera, Rickles, Debbie Reynolds, Jack Jones, and alas, no Charlie Callas’ Tap Dancing Alligator” or the M-M-M-M-ZIP-Maestro’s seminal I Remember It Well routine (***weep***). Pep boy Bart Conner will be there, but we won’t have the thrill of hearing Nadia Comaneci mangle the simplest names of gold and silver star donors.
Joining Ed and Norm as co-hosts are Entertainment Tonight’s lovely Jann Carl, Access Hollywood’s equally lovely Nancy O’Dell, game show host Tom Bergeron, soap star Alison Sweeney, American Idol runner-up Ace Young, and the MDA’s toxic National Youth Chairman Billy Gilman. Originally, the mere sight of young Billy caused my gag reflex to kick in. As years pass, I have begun to welcome the early morning insincerely-sincere showbiz patter he dispenses to “the little people.” Why do I get the feeling that when the cameras stop rolling, Billy turns into one of Pinocchio’s cigar-smoking louts on “Pleasure Island.” This youngster is pumping fresh blood through the veins of old showbiz. He scores a 9.5 on my bulls–t detector and could be his generation’s Casey Kasem.
The Marvelous Billy Gilman!
The one Telethon Superstar that I have yet to mention is Tony Orlando. For decades TO studied at the foot of Sammy. Now, the legendary sycophant is anchored by his yellow ribbons to the New York broadcast where he gets precious few moments on the network telecast. Without access to the WOR feed, TO remains an all but forgotten glimmer from Telethons past.
As for “big name” acts, forget it. Palomino Celine Dion will be there, so will 3 Doors Down. Kid Rock, Ludacris, Sugarland and Starship will perform for the kids while Gloria Gaynor, the indefatigable Maureen McGovern and Reba McIntire entertain the old goyim. Lance Burton will perform magic, while George Wallace (wasn’t he air conditioned by Arthur Bremer?) rattles off topical shtick for the crowd. Also scheduled to appear are another American Idol almost Bo Bice and Billy Bob Thornton, hopefully working the room with his Sling Blade wit. Pat Monahan of Train, Ronn Lucas, John Ondrasik, Terry Fator and a lot more people I’ve never heard of will be there to round out hours 7 and 8.
THE Telethon airs from 9 pm EDT Sunday, August 31 to 6:30 pm EDT Monday, September 1. I haven’t checked the sports pages to see if the Padres and/or Cubs will once again plague my Labor Day with Telethonus-interruptus.
Links:
The Jerry Lewis Telethon Photo Gallery
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7 Responses to “Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon in less than 3 Weeks — TIMPANI! OH, YEAH!!!”
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No Julius LaRosa? Who’s gonna throw Jerry some great “curves” (not to mention some good blows)?
And what about Casey Kasem? Are we to be deprived of our annual MD pitch by Shaggy? Who’s gonna be there to explain the rock groups to Jerry & Co.? Or for that matter Casey?
And NADIA won’t be there alongside her hubby? One can only take so much of WGN’s Allison Payne, you know. Overheard on Nadia’s first telethon:
“Here’s a silver star from the Gren (Green) Family”
No longer a superstation like WGN, WOR’s feed is available on the Dish Network. I’m tempted to find someone around the area who has Dish to see if they can tape Tony Orlando in all his glory.
Forget about MDA… how about a telethon to help Ed McMahon?
iS MENUD0 GUNNA BE THERE???
THATS My BiGGEST CONCERN!
i REALLy WANNA SEE MA BOyS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rob, how could I have possibly overlooked Julie LaRosa? Don’t ask why he does it, it’s that he does it!!!
And Jessica, now that the boys have grown, the only Menudo on the Telethon will be served to the crew.
No lundseman would forget Gary Lewis & The Playboys…
Your mayo and white bread are showing, Jen. Only a goyim would call a Landesman a Lundesman.
What??? No Gary Lewis and The Playboys??? Forget it!
Most decidedly not marvelous!