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Global Warming caused by Plasma Screen TVs?

July 3rd, 2008 by Scott Marks

Global Warming: Coming soon from a TV set near you.

Remember when your parents told you not to sit too close to your new 25″ Zenith color TV for fear of radioactive contamination? You ain’t seen nothing yet! A gas used in the making of flat screen televisions is being blamed for damaging the atmosphere and accelerating global warming. Nitrogen trifluoride (NF3) is estimated to be 17,000 times as powerful as carbon dioxide.

ABC News reports that NF3 is not covered by the Kyoto protocol as it was only produced in tiny amounts when the treaty was signed in 1997.

Levels of this gas in the atmosphere have not been measured, but scientists say it is a concern and are calling for it to be included in any future emissions cutting agreement.

Professor Michael Prather from the University of California has highlighted the issue in an article for the magazine New Scientist.

“One of my titles for this paper was Going Below Kyoto’s Radar. It’s the kind of gas that’s made in huge amounts,” he said.

“Not only is it not in the Kyoto Treaty but you don’t even have to report it. That’s the part that worries me.”

He estimates 4,000 tons of NF3 will be produced in 2008 and that number is likely to double next year.

Almost half of the televisions sold around the globe so far this year have been plasma or LCD TVs.

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Will David Cronenberg’s opera fly?

July 2nd, 2008 by Scott Marks

Daniel Okulitch performs in a scene from David Cronenberg’s first opera, THE FLY

David Cronenberg, the father of modern horror, has an opera debuting in Paris tonight that’s creating quite a buzz.

Mr. Cronenberg will direct a new version of The Fly with Placido Domingo conducting a score by Oscar-winning composer Howard Shore.

Shore, a childhood friend of Cronenberg’s, first teamed with the director on The Brood (1979). This marks the duo’s fifteen collaboration. According to The Associated Press, the composer “who also wrote the film’s original music, said he started picturing The Fly as an opera as soon as the movie was released.”

Shore said he sampled only two themes from his 1986 work.

Another Cronenberg crony, Tony Award-winning playwright David Henry Hwang (M. Butterfly) wrote the melodramatic libretto. The Fly marks not only Cronenberg’s operatic debut, but also the LA Opera debut of Marty’s production designer of choice, Dante Ferretti.

The opera will have its world premiere Wednesday at Paris’ Theatre du Chatelet and its U.S. premiere Sept. 7 at the Los Angeles Opera.

The plot is said to follow the film’s basic storyline, only the setting has been shifted from the 80s to the 50s, the time of the original version’s release. The AP’s Angela Doland writes, “ The retro set design is evocative of 1950s horror flicks. And there’s something thrilling about the old-school special effects—terrifically gruesome costumes, a singing teleport machine and a giant fly scaling an opera set.”

When asked what attracted him to a story of a man forced to vomit on his food before consuming it, world class tenor Placido Domingo said, “Why not? I couldn’t resist.”

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Report of Jerry Lewis’ death is greatly exaggerated

July 1st, 2008 by Scott Marks

No one loses…except maybe a Goddamn National Treasure!!!

It’s a big, wide, wonderful world we live in.

In Big Olly’s Homeric tribute to the “long traditions” of clowns, the topic turns, as it must in all meditations on Punchinellos, to Jerry Lewis.

“I suppose I am drawn more to the maudlin and tedious clownish stylings of the late, great Jerry Lewis.”

Big Olly’s a Clown killer, by golly! When last I looked, Jerry was alive and touring and looking better than he has in years. Where does this heartless galvantz get off planting a beloved actor, producer, director, conductor, mime, singer, dancer, writer…what am I forgetting…author, recording artist, nightclub performer, Broadway sensation, recipient of a little red French thingy you wear on your lapel, humanitarian and National Chairman and Spokesperson for the Muscular Dystrophy Organization? (Emulsion Compulsion is gonna’ have to dig a lot of holes when Jerry eventually checks out, God forbid.)

After B.O. buries Jerry, he gets to the topic at hand: Three Ring Circus. It’s probably the worst of the Martin and Lewis vehicles. For the first time their personal acrimony is visible on screen. The boys barely spend any time together leaving vast, unfunny patches of circus humor and Dean singing solo to the animals.

There is one scene in the film that has continued to give me douchechills since the first day I saw it. Here is Olly’s take:

“Allow me to indulge myself. In “3 Ring Circus” or something, Jerry (along with Dean Martin) is working in a circus, mainly manning those sideshows with maximum hilarious potential for going messily wrong. Jerry falls foul of the traditional drunken, angry clown Puffo who is, for some reason, sacked. On that basis Jerry steps in as “Jericho” the clown and is an instant hit.

The poignant height of his career is when, performing for a group of handicapped children, Jericho realises that his antics have failed to touch one little girl (conveniently seated in the front row). He goes over to her and speaks to her in what I think is a breach of one of the fundamental rules of clowing (sic). He says something along the lines of ‘Come on honey. I know you don’t think I’m funny, but won’t you laugh for me?’

Now I have seen lame begging for laughs at many levels of comedy but that must be the worst. When it predictably fails, Jericho starts to weep, which strikes the child as the funniest thing she has seen in a ‘coon’s age and she laughs up a storm.

I mean to say. Funny or maudlin? I leave the decision to you. Actually, no I don’t. It is maudlin and appalling.”

He’s right about the maudlin and appalling one-two punch. The film was Paramount’s big 1954 Christmas picture. The first Telethon was held in June 1955 at Carnegie Hall in New York. Having not had the privilege of watching hours of Jerry’s private videos, to the best of my knowledge this was his first public reference to dystrophic children and it’s quite a calling card. At no time has it ever been acceptable to paint physically disabled children as monsters, especially by someone like Jerry Lewis who is known to rely on sentiment and pathos. Suddenly this sympathetic, forlorn little urchin is transformed into Rhoda Penmark with leg braces, laughing uncontrollably at the day the clown cried.

The film is a must for Martin & Lewis mavens. Paramount Home Video insists on keeping it from me. Just part of my daily struggle, I guess.

As for you, Olly, I ask that you control your urge to kill. Don’t you want Jerry to live long enough to see The Nutty Professor: The Musical make it to Broadway? And what about Adam Sandler’s remake of Cinderfella?

Links:
Three Ring Circus photos

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False Facebook profile sparks landmark libel suit

June 30th, 2008 by Scott Marks

The managing director of a British company that finds audiences for TV and radios shows appears to have attracted a one man following.

Grant Rapheal is accused of posted a false profile of his old schoolchum Applausestore.com’s Mathew Firsht on the social networking website Facebook. A fake entry was posted listing Firsht’s personal details and listing a bunch of gay groups that he was signed up to. Firsht is heterosexual.

For a kick, the ad also falsely claimed he was ‘Looking for whatever I can get’ in terms of a relationship.

Yesterday, Raphael’s prank initiated a landmark High Court claim for damages. According to thisislondon.co.uk, “Mr Firsht is suing old schoolfriend Grant Rapheal for libel and misuse of private information in what is believed to be the first defamation case involving Facebook in the UK.”

During Monday’s hearing Firsht’s lawyer Lorna Skinner listed the private information including his whereabouts, activities, birthday and relationship status. To underscore the latter, Firsht was signed up the Facebook groups ‘Gay in the Wood. . . Borehamwood’ and ‘Gay Jews in London.’ He was not, however, a member in good standing of ‘Gay Cocken Affan Yom.’

In addition, Ms. Skinner claims that her client was defamed by additional allegations that he owed large sums of money which he attempted to lie his way out of as well as smears that made Matthew’s Applausestore.com sound Firsh*t.

Miss Skinner continued: ‘Mr Firsht values his privacy highly. It was the gross invasion of his privacy, namely having his personal details, including false details concerning his sexuality, laid bare for all to see that caused him the most distress.’

The two friends had a severe falling out in 2000 that, according to Ms. Skinner, left Mr. Raphael harboring an enormous grudge. She also claimed that Raphael had access to Firsht that “only a very limited number of people would.”

Facebook took off in 2006 and is the seventh most popular site on the internet! Last month alone, it attracted 129.3million visitors. I’m on Facebook, but I’m not sure I get it. It just seems like a lot of silly games and quizzes, but, hey, it’s the closest I’ll ever get to really being friends with Roger Corman.

And it’s okay to goof on me for only having 46 friends. If you can count more friends than you’ve got fingers on one hand, you shouldn’t operate a punch press.

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Liza Minnelli: Former chauffer sues for rape, assault and battery

June 27th, 2008 by Scott Marks

The Addams Family in happier times

What good is sitting all alone in your limo? Judy Garland’s daughter Liza Minnelli fought and won the battle to personally defend herself against claims she sexually forced herself on her former driver.

M’hammed Soumayah is suing the 62-year-old superstar for $50 - $100 million. Soumayah claims that in 2004, Minnelli wanted him to drive more than just her limo. According to Soumayah, the Rent-A-Cop star forced him to have sexual relations “without his consent.” In reality, he probably found it impossible to follow Martin Scorsese. (It has always been my contention that the only reason Scorsese went with her was because he wanted to f–k old Hollywood.)

Soumayah is also alleging that he suffered assault and battery and that his pay was withheld until he performed…err…uhh… certain services for the star. It’s enough to make a cuckoo sterile!

As reported on WENN, “Soumayah’s lawyer suggested the star give testimony by video, as Minnelli ‘has been known to have professional commitments to meet.’ But Minnelli’s rep has insisted the request is’ just a way to embarrass’ the singer and would suggest she isn’t sound enough to appear for the deposition in person.”

If Soumayah really wants to embarrass her, all he has to do is bring a copy of Stepping Out to court.

Minnelli is scheduled to make a pre-trial statement in Manhattan Supreme court on August 15. Minnelli’s lawyers have previously called the Liza Driver’s lawsuit “a quicksand of untruths and misstatements” and accused him of an attempt to “shakedown” Sid Luft’s step-daughter for financial gain.

This is not Minnelli’s first experience dealing with a sexual harassment lawsuit. Liza’s suit against her former husband David Gest was thrown out of court by a New York federal judge in 2006 before the couple’s divorce was finalized the following year. Gest later accused his ex-wife of physical brutality.

Can’t wait to see what Liza wears on the stand. The judge had better allow cameras in the courtroom.

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Mini-Me Verne Troyer sues TMZ.com for $20 Million over Sex Tape

June 26th, 2008 by Scott Marks

While his latest film The Love Guru continues to attract dozens of patrons nationwide, pint-sized Verne ‘Tripod’ Troyer’s upcoming release could rake in millions. After TMZ released a 25 second clip of Mini-Me in action with a former girlfriend, Verne Troyer filed a $20 million lawsuit, claiming the website violated his rights by publishing and airing portions of his sex tape.

Troyer’s suit (or was it a brief) was filed today in U.S. District Court in downtown L.A. According to TMZ, “Troyer claims TMZ violated his privacy rights and infringed on his copyright and trademark by running portions of the tape on TMZ TV and TMZ.com. He also alleges TMZ violated his right of publicity and misappropriated his name and likeness.”

Pardon me if none of this rings true. With all of the recent sex tape scandals, anyone that decides to immortalize their passion in pixels had best beware and stash the evidence in a safe deposit box. Troyer claims the tape was stolen and ended up in the hands of Kevin Blatt, the Joseph E. Levine of celebrity smut, who distributed One Night in Paris. Blatt is also named as a defendant.

Hey, Kevin - If you really want to do the world a service, why not break into Jerry Lewis’ office and pilfer a copy of The Day the Clown Cried? There are at least six Emulsion Compulsion regulars that would pay $19.95 for a dub.

In addition to damages, Troyer wants an injunction prohibiting further dissemination of the video, unless of course there is a demand for the tape and Mini gets a huge cut of the profits.

Read the original story and watch the controversial clip here.

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