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Man decapitates wax Hitler on opening day of Madame Tussauds in Berlin

July 5th, 2008 by Scott Marks

Looks like an SCTV parody. “…and Dave Thomas as Der Fuehrer.”

BERLIN - Just minutes after Madame Tussauds opened the doors to its latest museum, a 41-year-old German man walked past security guards and proceeded to rip the head off a controversial waxwork figure of reviled Nazi leader Adolf Hitler.

I’ve heard of saving Hitler’s brain, but this is extreme. Perhaps he was simply celebrating the recent discovery of the director’s cut of Fritz Lang’s Metropolis. After all, it was one of Hitler’s favorite movies.

Reuters reports that a police spokesman said the angry man did what he had to do in order to protest the exhibit. The polizei were alerted and the man did not resist arrest. He was being investigated for enacting a paraffin putsch.

It took twenty-five workers four months to complete the project. They examined 2,000 photographs and pieces of archival material and the damn thing still looks more like Bruno Ganz than than the world’s greatest fascist dictator. The team also found inspiration from an upright model located in the London branch of Madame Tussauds.

One burning question remains: Why would anyone in their right mind drop their hard-earned dough to see a bunch of wax dolls? It all seems like such a profound waste of disposable income. Posing for a photo with an in-the-flesh celeb is one thing. Grinning beside a lifeless substitute is pathetic.

How the museum got around the fact that It is illegal in Germany to show Nazi symbols and art glorifying Hitler is unknown. The exhibit was cordoned off, but museum officials feared that visitors would view this as a photo-op and cross security ropes in order to pose with Schicklgruber.

Unobtrusive signs were posted asking visitors to refrain from taking photos or posing with Hitler “out of respect for the millions of people who died during World War Two.” There was no mention of refraining from dislodging the simonized effigy’s head.

The petroleum tableau depicted a down-trodden Dolf seated in his bunker during the last days of his life. Critics accused the profiteering museum of bad taste for placing a waxy depiction of a fascist lunatic responsible for the deaths of millions of people next to likenesses of movie stars and pop musicians.

Reuters described the replica Hitler as, ” Dressed in a grey suit, (gazing) downwards with a despondent stare, his arm outstretched on a large wooden table with a map of Europe on the wall of his gloomy bunker.

Had they placed the Hitler facsimile in close proximity to the George Bush dummy, no one would have bothered to take notice.

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The Beatles and Adolf Hitler: I Wanna’ Hold Your Microphone

April 22nd, 2008 by Scott Marks

The Fab Five
The Fab Five

What do Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Bing Crosby, Tony Bennett, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, George, Paul, George, Ringo and Adolf have in common?

No, not a desire to eliminate the weak through music, but the legendary Neumann U47 microphone.

NPR’s All Things Considered ran a fascinating piece about Mary and John Peluso, a couple from southwest Virginia who specialize in boutique microphone-making. The mike was “designed in 1928 by Georg Neumann, and considered a technological breakthrough. Neumann took the old carbon-grain broadcast microphone, which uses bits of carbon sandwiched between two plates, and turned it into a mass-produced “condenser” microphone, which has one fixed plate and another that forms a diaphragm moved by sound waves.”

This technological breakthrough allowed the human voice to sound clearer and more authoritative. No wonder it was Hitler’s mike of choice for his opening speech at the 1936 Berlin Olympics.

Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Bing Crosby, Tony Bennett and the Beatles all used the U47, and according to Peluso, “it’s hard to find an album recorded in the 1950s or ’60s that didn’t have a U47 on it.”

Listen to the 13 minute interview here.

 

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Tom Cruise Hitler assassination film pushed back to 2009

April 8th, 2008 by Scott Marks

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Those of you eager to see a brainwashed Scientologist attempt to assassinate Hitler will have to wait another year.

Valkyrie, initially set to open October 3 has been pushed back to President’s Day weekend, 2009. This is the second time the film’s release date has been moved. It was originally slated to premiere in June.

“When an opening became available for President’s Day weekend, we seized the opportunity,” said a tap dancing Clark Woods, MGM domestic distribution president. “Having seen a lot of the film and how great it is going to play once it’s finished, moving into a big holiday weekend is the right move.”

Director Bryan Singer and screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie, the critical darlings behind The Usual Suspects, have reunited to tell the true story of a plot to assassinate Hitler during the height of WWII. Singer is no stranger to Nazis on film. In Apt Pupil he planted war criminal Ian McKellan deep in the heart of Altuna and who will ever forget his shameless use of the Holocaust as plot motivator in X-Men?

The film’s production has been surrounded by difficulty and a lot of controversy, most of it trumped up by studio publicists. Initially, the crew was not allowed to film on Bendler Block, a historic building complex located near the Tiergarten park along the southern edge of what was once the diplomatic quarter of Berlin. False rumors that the German government banned the project due to Cruise’s Scientological leanings began flooding the internet. The authorities, eager to preserve “the dignity of this place” eventually overturned their decision after Cruise and McQuarrie’s persistent pleas.

Footage from the original negative was destroyed after being treated with the wrong chemical during development causing several scenes to be re-shot. And according to imdb.com, ” Eleven film extras playing Wehrmacht soldiers were injured on set in Berlin when they fell out of a moving lorry. One of the actors received a serious back injury while others had bruises, cuts and head injuries. An insurance company investigation into the accident found that there was no mechanical malfunction of the truck. The investigation concluded that the side panel had been closed improperly by one of the extras, resulting in it opening while the truck was in motion.”

Valkyrie is the actor’s second attempt to resuscitate United Artists, the studio Cruise and producing partner Paula Wagner took control of in November of 2006. Their first production Lions for Lambs (which Cruise also starred in) is estimated to have lost $30 million.

Tom Cruise photos:
Risky Business
The Color of Money

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When it comes to Hitler, Will Smith wasn’t following orders

January 3rd, 2008 by Scott Marks

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Small screen cut-up turned big screen hit-maker Will Smith shall no longer be referred to as Villy Schmidt, The Fresh Prince of Buchenwald.

He would probably like to leave his fresh prints around the throats of several World Entertainment News Network (WENN) reporters. WENN issued a formal apology to Smith after it helped spread the rumor that Smith found Hitler to be a misunderstood madman.

According to TMZ.com, the apology stated that the “erroneous and dangerous statement attributed to Will Smith about Adolph Hitler being a ‘good person’ … was false and misleading.” WENN says it takes “full responsibility for the dissemination” of the story and offers Will “a sincere apology” and deeply regrets “the personal stress” caused.

Now that that’s out of the way, who’s going to apologize for Hitch?

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HITLER ON FILM Quiz Answers

December 30th, 2007 by Scott Marks

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Eva Braun and “Uncle Adolf” loved whiling away the blustery Illinois day by administering the Emulsion Compulsion Hitler on Film Quiz to children at their ranch in Winthrop Harbor.

ANSWERS

  1. d. You Natzy Spy
  2. b. Bobby Watson
  3. a. Russian Rhapsody
  4. e. Dick Shawn
  5. c. Gary Beach
  6. c. Adenoid Hinckle
  7. b. Sir Alec Guinness
  8. d. Bruno Ganz
  9. d. Hitler’s Madman
  10. c. Casino Royale
  11. d. 442 min.
  12. c. Gilbert Gottfried
  13. c. Max
  14. c. Walter Pidgeon
  15. b. The Bunker
  16. c. Brain
  17. b. Jim Dale AND d. Spike Milligan (Spike Milligan was the name of the character Jim Dale created.)
  18. b. Hitler’s Secretary
  19. c. Richard Basehart
  20. d. Sidney Miller

GRADING YOUR SCORE

100%: We Salute You, Herr Reichsfuhrer-SS!
18 to 19 Correct: Obergruppenfuhrer
13 to 17 Correct: Brigadefuhrer
8 to 12 Correct: Sturmmann
5 to 8 Correct: Daniel Carver recruit
3 to 5 Correct: Hitler Youth
0 to 2 Correct: Jew

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Take the Emulsion Compulsion HITLER ON FILM Quiz!

December 28th, 2007 by Scott Marks

Who’s your favorite Dolf? Here’s your chance to test your skill at Chancellor spotting in this Nutzy Nazi quiz. Leave your answers in the comments section and I’ll post the key in a day or so. Cheaters will be eliminated like the weaklings they are!!!

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1. A full ten months before the release of Chaplin’s The Great Dictator, Jules White and The Three Stooges lampooned Schicklegruber in this Columbia two-reeler.

a. Back to the Front
b. I’ll Never Heil Again
c. They Stooge To Conga
d. You Natzy Spy
e. Night and Fog

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This actor played Hitler in a total of 9 films.

a. Bobs Watson
b. Bobby Watson
c. Minor Watson
d. Tex Watson
e. Dr. John H. Watson

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3. In this 1944 Merrie Melodies cartoon, Bob Clampett’s Gremlins from the Kremlin performed a full scale blitzkrieg on the Poland of Hitler’s backside.

a. Russian Rhapsody
b. Daffy the Commando
c. Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips
d. Herr Meets Hare
e. Fifth Column Mouse

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4. Who played Hitler in the 1968 version of Mel Brook’s The Producers?

a. Jan Murray
b. Christopher Hewitt
c. Andreas Voutsina
d. William Hickey
e. Dick Shawn

Continue reading Take the Emulsion Compulsion HITLER ON FILM Quiz!

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