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Mazel Tov: Emulsion Compulsion is One Year Old Today!

June 1st, 2008 by Scott Marks

It seems like only yesterday that I was writing a crappy AOL blog that even I didn’t read. What a difference a year makes. Now there are ads for Spike Lee and Indian dating services. Look how far we’ve come from the river, Charlie.

Thanks to a merry band or irregulars that hang on my every review and bit of sordid gossip, and whose comments frequently outshine The Master’s (John Schultz’s choice of words…and mine).

Look! I got a birthday card from Jean-Luc Godard!

So long as celebs keep dying, you can rest assured that Emulsion Compulsion will continue to deliver the finest obituaries anywhere on the net! And pictures? You don’t want to know what goes on in the bowels of the Image Vault!

As a gift to you, Martin Scorsese’s first film What’s a Nice Girl Like You Doing in a Place Like This?

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERRY LEWIS!

March 16th, 2008 by Scott Marks

jerry-discovers-the-worlds-tastiest-nuts.jpg

Jerry Lewis turns 82 today and by way of celebration, here is an original 1963 promotional tie-in ad that features The Nutty Professor partaking in every form of Planter’s nuts known to man.

In the 45 years since the film’s release, scientists have discovered that peanuts can have an even more devastating effect on adults than Kelp’s Wonder Tonic. In order to avoid a lawsuit, we here at Emulsion Compulsion feel it necessary to warn you that peanut allergy is the most common cause of death from food allergies.

Symptoms can include the following:
* Vomiting
* Diarrhea
* Hives
* Swelling of the lips, face, throat and skin
* Acute abdominal pain
* Exacerbation of atopic eczema
* Asthma
* Anaphylactic shock

Eating peanut products while watching The Nutty Professor may cause the following:
* Fake teeth
* An abundance of mascara
* Uncontrollable mandibular spasms while singing That Old Black Magic
* The urge to wear electric blue Sy Devore suits and drink Alaska Polar Bear Heaters
* The world’s tastiest nuts

Happy birthday, Jerry!

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