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Blazing Bob Hope Dr. turns up charred corpse

June 13th, 2008 by Scott Marks

Police are investigating the death of a person found burned in a far east El Paso neighborhood. Last night around 9 pm, a 911 caller reported heavy flames coming from an empty lot on Lorenzo Ruiz Avenue and Bob Hope Drive.

Bob Hope Dr. in El Paso?!? This confirms earlier reports of a thought transponder concealed in an earth station somewhere in Texas.

Officials said the body was so badly burned they could not tell if it was a man, a woman or a Republican. (Seaman Jacobs wrote that.)

Lt. Mario Hernandez, spokesman for the El Paso Fire Department initially “thought that it was some type of mannequin” possibly similar to the one the street is named after.

The spirit of Hope permeates the neighborhood. Guillermo Flores, who lives near the crime scene, said, “To know that there’s a dead body here it’s pretty crazy.” Hey, I wanna’ tell you, that’s a wild, nutty homicide, ladies and gentlemen.

Pulling a Will Jordan, part-time impressionist Flores shifted gears by instantly transforming himself into SCTV’s Count Floyd and saying, “This is pretty scary.”

Links
Bob Hope photos, right here
Bob Hope was a very old, not so funny, violently insane psychopath

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