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Oscar Show rundown, complete and timed to the second!

February 24th, 2008 by Scott Marks

there-will-be-hope.jpg
I don’t know when or how, but some time during tonight’s
broadcast, there will be Hope!

Want to know the perfect time to throw a bag of corn in the microwave or pay a visit to the commode during Hollywood’s yearly reenactment of the Bataan death march? Here’s your blow-by-blow breakdown of tonight’s festivities.

Looks like there will be no Irving Thalberg award (never liked him anyway after what he did to the Marx Bros.) or a Jean Hersholt giveaway for that matter. There is buzz about Nicole Kidman paying tribute to either Sydney Pollack and/or Heath Ledger, but nothing is confirmed. The only honorary award will go to production designer par excellence Robert Boyle.

The show starts at 5:30 (PT). The picture runs three hours and twenty-nine minutes (giver or take a commandment); there will be many intermissions.

I want to thank all of you who read Emulsion Compulsion on a daily basis. I love everybody! Gotta’ go…the red light is blinking. (Blows kisses to audience.)

OPENING MONOLOGUE: 6 minutes

AWARD #1: COSTUME DESIGN
Jennifer Garner: 5:50 PM (PT)

AWARD #2: ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway

AWARD #3: MAKEUP
Katherine Heigl: 5:57

BATHROOM BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #1 :6:03:09
“Happy Working Song” 2:07
Amy Adams-vocs, orchestra

AWARD #4: VISUAL EFFECTS
Dwayne Johnson: 6:09

AWARD #5: ART DIRECTION
Cate Blanchett: 6:13

Laughter ensues when Jon Stewart jokes about Blanchett’s double nomination as Queen Elizabeth and Bob Dylan.

AWARD #6: ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Jennifer Hudson: 6:18

PRESENTER INTRO PERFORMANCE
Keri Russell: 6:27

POPCORN BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #2: 6:27
“Raise It Up”
Jamia Simone Nash, Impact Repertory Theatre of Harlem, Total Praise Community Choir, Orchestra

AWARD #7: LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
Owen Wilson: 6:30

AWARD #8: ANIMATED SHORT FILM
Barry B. Benson: 6:36

AWARD #9: ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Alan Arkin: 6:39

SCI-TECH AWARDS RECAP
Jessica Alba: 6:49:20

AWARD #10: ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
James McAvoy, Josh Brolin: 6:50

PRESENTER INTRO PERFORMANCE
Future Oscar winner Miley Cyrus: 6:57:38

PHONE BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #3: 7:00
“That’s How You Know”
Kristin Chenoweth-vocals, Dancers, Marlon Saunders-singer, Steel Drummer, Kids, Tuba Players, Chorus

AWARD #11: SOUND EDITING
For you youngsters in the audience, Jonah Hill & Seth Rogen: 7:06

AWARD #12: SOUND MIXING
More with Jonah Hill & Seth Rogen: 7:09

AWARD #13: ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Forest Whitaker: 7:15

SMOKE BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #4: 7:27:43
“Falling Slowly”
Glen Hansard-vocals, guitar, Marketa Irglova-vocals, piano

Jack Nicholson to present a montage of Best Picture winners over the last 80 years.

AWARD #14: FILM EDITING
Renée Zellweger: 7:33

HONORARY OSCAR TO ROBERT BOYLE
Nicole Kidman, Randy Thomas, Robert Boyle: 7:38

AWARD #15: FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Penélope Cruz: 7:47

PRESENTER INTRO PERFORMANCE (Patrick Dempsey)

OXYGEN BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #5: 7:54:46
“So Close”
Jon McLaughlin-vocals, Featured Dancers, Ballroom Dancers , Band Member Extras, Bill Conti

AWARD #16: ORIGINAL SONG
John Travolta, Ballroom Dancer-Valentina: 7:55

AWARD #17: CINEMATOGRAPHY
Cameron Diaz: 8:04

IN MEMORIAM TRIBUTE (3:00)
Hilary Swank: 8:11

AWARD #18: ORIGINAL SCORE
Amy Adams: 8:15

AWARD #19: DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Tom Hanks and Special Guests: 8:19

AWARD #20: DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Tom Hanks: 8:22

AWARD #21: ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Harrison Fordz-z-z-z-z-z: 8:30

AWARD #22: ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Helen Mirren: 8:37

AWARD #23: DIRECTING
Martin Scorsese!: 8:47

AWARD #24: BEST MOTION PICTURE
Denzel Washington: 8:49

GOODNIGHTS 8:53:49 (Jon Stewart)

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