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Quentin Tarantino casts Britney Spears in remake of Russ Meyer classic

August 7th, 2008 by Scott Marks

Separated at birth?

The only thing more disturbing than floozy Britney Spears appearing in another theatrical film is the fact that Quentin Tarantino has the nerve to remake Russ Meyer’s Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

QT has cast the white trash paparazzi whore in the same role Tura Satana played in the 1965 soft-core masterwork. Tura is a tough, empowered, kick ass vixen while Spears is a dependent, out of shape nutjob that spends what little time she does with her children blowing cigarette smoke in their faces.

According to The Telegraph, a source said: “Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She’s delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around. It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She’s playing the most important character.”

Ms. Spears is no stranger to performing before a camera and she’s been in a few movies, too. Those fortunate enough to witness Britney’s breakthrough picture Crossroads will never forget her somewhat believable performance as a high school graduate.

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Nickelodeon is trying to come up with some tasteful way to cash in on Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy

December 20th, 2007 by Scott Marks

traler-trash.jpeg

I never thought that this site would contain any news about Britney, Jessica, Paris or Lindsay, but this latest round of imbecility riled me up.

December must be a good month to cash in on teenage pregnancies. First, ex-stripper and first time screenwriter Diablo Cody gifts us with Juno, an overwritten sitcom that completely trivializes an epidemic that should be seen as a national crisis.

Now, direct from the trailer park to you, comes news that bimbo Britney Spears’ bimbette 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn is with child. I’m not sure which abortion would be more welcome, one for Jamie or a termination of Britney’s career.

Instead of seeing the star of Zoey 101 as a lousy role model and 86ing the show, the Nickelodeon Network is scrambling to capitalize on her good fortune by putting together a special for their impressionable young viewers about love and sex.

Breitbart.com reports that the once credible Linda Ellerbee is being considered to host the “special.”

“I think it’s important that something be done,” Ellerbee told The Associated Press on Thursday. “But I think it’s important that it be done in a measured way, and not just to feed the beast of news stories.”

Trying to make lemons out of lemonade, Ms. Ellerbee continued, “This is a great opportunity for parents at this moment to talk to their kids about this—more important, to listen to their kids about this.”

Nickelodeon spokesman, Dan Martinsen, confirmed the discussions but said no decision had been made.

New York Daily News TV critic David Hinckley wrote Thursday that to end “this sordid moment” with a lesson, Nickelodeon should pull the plug on Zoey 101.

“If Nickelodeon keeps Jamie Lynn Spears because her product sells, it runs the risk that a valuable message it has spent years crafting could shift from `trust us’ to `whatever,’” Hinckley wrote.

If the Disney Channel considered removing Vanessa Hudgens from their hit High School Musical over a few topless candids, Nickelodeon should pimp slap little Spears.

I make no apologies for the following value judgment: 16-year-old children, particularly one that come from families able to afford birth control, have no business getting knocked up. Let them screw all they want, just don’t allow a child to suffer for their youthful indiscretions.

The Daily Mirror reports that Casey “At Bat” Aldridge, Jamie Lynn’s 19-year-old spearer, could face ten years in jail if convicted of statutory rape. Put his trial or a reality show that follows Jamie Lynn’s abortion on the air and you’ll get me as a viewer.

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