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Britney spears lead in Holocaust drama?

June 22nd, 2009 by Scott Marks

O

Britler

Thanks to Morph Thing for their inspired artistry

Britney Spears invents a time machine and travels back to Nazi Germany where she falls in love with a concentration camp victim. The couple return to the present day with the intention of getting married, but are instead killed by Nazis.

There’s the signpost up ahead, y’all. Next stop, Albert Speers!

I instinctively began searching Fandango to see if I could purchase advance tickets before I realized that the film is barely in the talking stage.

According to the National Ledger, Ellie May has been given the script of “ The Yellow Star of Sophia and Eton” for her consideration.

Please, Dear Lord, make it come up “Mo” instaed of “Eenie,” “Meenie,” or “Miney.”

Oscar Beregi, Jr.

Actually, “The Twilight Zone” produced a terrific Holocaust-themed show. “Deaths-Head Revisited” starred Hungarian born character actor Oscar Beregi, Jr., his generation’s answer to Sig Ruman. Beregi played an SS Officer who returns to Dachau to think back on his past glories only to be tried by a ghostly jury of his victims.

Aside from his stellar work on the “Zone,” Beregi donned jackboots and a swastika armband in “Combat,” “36 Hours,” “12 O’clock High,” “Morituri,” “The Time Tunnel,” “Hogan’s Heroes,” “Young Frankenstein” and, of course, as the Nazi Admiral in “The Incredible Mr. Limpet.” He also played the doctor that performed the schmecklectomy in “The Christine Jorgensen Story” as well as the “German Tourist” in Episode 1 of “Bob Hope Presents the Chrysler Theatre.”

I am always the first to argue that the holocaust should never be dealt with in fictional terms, but in Britney’s case I’ll gladly make an exception. By all means legitimize the hell out of this project. Make it three hours and get spielberg to produce and direct. You know that he’s eventually going to fall flat on his face and leave a crater the size of three “1941s.” Why not do it now and while you’re at it, take Britney with you.

Bloggers are complaining that the press leak spoiled the plot, but I disagree. Armed with the knowledge that Britney gets done in by Nazis makes it all the more enticing.

We already lost Sean Penn as Larry Fine. Let this project go through and give us all something to live for.

Watch the complete episode of “Deaths-Head Revisited” here.

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Quentin Tarantino casts Britney Spears in remake of Russ Meyer classic

August 7th, 2008 by Scott Marks

Separated at birth?

The only thing more disturbing than floozy Britney Spears appearing in another theatrical film is the fact that Quentin Tarantino has the nerve to remake Russ Meyer’s Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

QT has cast the white trash paparazzi whore in the same role Tura Satana played in the 1965 soft-core masterwork. Tura is a tough, empowered, kick ass vixen while Spears is a dependent, out of shape nutjob that spends what little time she does with her children blowing cigarette smoke in their faces.

According to The Telegraph, a source said: “Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She’s delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around. It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She’s playing the most important character.”

Ms. Spears is no stranger to performing before a camera and she’s been in a few movies, too. Those fortunate enough to witness Britney’s breakthrough picture Crossroads will never forget her somewhat believable performance as a high school graduate.

Continue reading Quentin Tarantino casts Britney Spears in remake of Russ Meyer classic

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