Moviegoer stabbed with meat thermometer after telling woman to stop talking on phone during “Shutter Island”
March 10th, 2010 by Scott Marks
In a feat worthy of Joe Pesci, the boyfriend of a movie patron, irate over his best gal being told to stop yakking on her cell phone during a screening of “Shutter Island,” took matters into his own hands by stabbing the right-thinking patron in the neck with a meat thermometer.
The alleged assault occurred during a 9 pm screening last Saturday night at the Cinemark 22 in Lancaster, California. A gentleman cinephile, annoyed by an African American woman talking during the feature, asked that she finish her conversation elsewhere. She left with her two companions only to return minutes later and stab the faultfinder with the cooking instrument.
Never one to champion carrying concealed weapons, in this case I’ll gladly make an exception. It’s not that I wanted the gentleman to protect himself when the thugs came back. On the contrary, he should have shot the bitch at point blank range for daring to speak during Marty’s latest offering.
According to KTLA the victim, who was hospitalized, is expected to survive. Two other brave souls who attempted to help the victim were also injured in the altercation. The assailants escaped and are still at large. I am hoping that Lancaster’s African American community will band together and in the spirit of Fritz Lang’s “M,” track down these animals, kill them and present Marty with their heads.
Better yet, give the bastards the same treatment only this time make sure that the turkeys are done.
Tags: California, cinemark 22, lancaster, Martin Scorsese, meat thermometer, movie theater stabbing, shutter island, shutter island stabbingFiled Under News
Rare Bob Hope blooper unearthed after visit to Holy Land
February 18th, 2010 by Scott Marks
DATELINE BURBANK: Being this close to the epicenter of Hope necessitated a pilgrimage to The Toluca Lake Earth Station to see if dear Dolores needed anything at the Von’s. The gate was closed and the shades drawn. It would have been easier to catch a glimpse up one of her fabulous floor-length gowns. The only sign of movement was flapping on the end of a flagpole. Today Mrs. Hope lives alone in Bob’s never-finished, already decaying Toluca Lake pleasure palace, aloof, seldom visited, never photographed.
It’s been an overwhelming week. Normally a positive inaugural visit to “Shutter Island” would have been enough. I spiked the punch by exposing myself to the greatest narcotic known to man. As if ordained, the second I arrived back at my Burbank suite the computer was on my lap and this blooper from the 1970 Miss World Pageant on my screen.
Bob knew of my presence on consecrated ground and planned this assault on my thought patterns.
His will be done!
Were I to live three lifetimes I could never expose myself to every on camera morsel the man force fed us. Not until “this” night was I aware of the existence of this Hope-filled tirade. Mixing his signature “satirical” schick with indignant outrage, Bob lets those feminist dames know exactly where he stands, right here.
Allow Wikipedia to set the scene: “During the evening there were protests by Women’s Liberation activists. They held up placards, shouted, blew whistles, and threw smoke bombs, stink bombs, ink bombs and leaflets onto the stage. The comedian, Bob Hope, was also heckled and scarcely raised a laugh.”
Scarcely raised a laugh? I’m still shaking. This is one of the most hilariously uncomfortable Bob Hope bloopers on record! It must be studied in every classroom in America. They should have run this on a double feature with Obama’s controversial (?) address to the nation’s school children.
Bob “Cattle Market” Hope kicks off his set with a few well placed zingers to let these broads know who is boss. Bob would have made a great pitchman for PETA. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about protecting animals. As President Nixon foretold in his infamous ”Checkers speech,” Republican cloth coats are so much cheaper!
Continue reading Rare Bob Hope blooper unearthed after visit to Holy Land
Tags: Beauty Pageant, Bob Hope, Bob Hope blooper, Bob Hope video, Burbank, California, Citizen Kane, Dolores Hope, Miss World, Peta, shutter island, toluca lake, VideoFiled Under Rants
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