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Dig A Hole: Larry Harmon, the Architect of Bozo

July 3rd, 2008 by Scott Marks

If you listen carefully, you can almost hear Ringmaster Ned blow his whistle and ask that time honored question, “WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE DEAD CLOWN?”

BOZO!!!

But wait, this isn’t some franchised clown clone sporting the traditional red, white and blue jumpsuit and sugar-cone-tipped orange hair. We’re talking the progenitor, apex and architect of Boz, Larry Harmon.

Well, not really. I mean the clown kicked, but to my surprise Larry Harmon was not Bozo’s creator. That dubious distinction goes to Disney voice artist Pinto “Goofy” Colvig who originated Bozo the Clown when Capitol Records introduced a series of children’s records in 1946. Harmon first met his future alter ego (or was it the other way around?) while answering a casting call to make personal appearances dressed as Bozo T. Clown to help promote the record.

On Thursday, Larry Harmon died at his home in Los Angeles of congestive heart failure. He was 83.

Harmon eventually bought the rights to Bozo, added a few personal touches to the costume and became a clown guru and Boz’s biggest supporter. And you know what they say about a man who wears a size 47EEE shoe!

According to the Associated Press, Harmon’s place in history was challenged in 2004 by Milwaukee’s International Clown Hall of Fame. (Sounds like the vacation destination from hell.) The bastards removed a plaque honoring him as Bozo and formally endorsed Colvig for creating the role. Harmon denied ever misrepresenting Bozo’s history.

He said he was claiming credit only for what he added to the character — “What I sound like, what I look like, what I walk like” — and what he did to popularize Bozo.

“Isn’t it a shame the credit that was given to me for the work I have done, they arbitrarily take it down, like I didn’t do anything for the last 52 years,” he told the AP at the time.

Before John Wayne Gacy delivered a black eye to clowns everywhere, Harmon personally trained over 200 full grown men who wanted to wear a funny costume, hang around small children all day and sing about Bozo’s “pocket rocket.”

What did it take to make a good Bozo? Harmon said, ” “I’m looking for that sparkle in the eyes, that emotion, feeling, directness, warmth. That is so important.” The records, cartoon spin-off, merchandising, character licensing and personal appearances made Harmon a very wealthy man.

He was fiercely covetous of his stolen creation, going so far as trying to have the more derisive connotation of the word “bozo” stricken from the record. And woe unto those who donned a similar costume. Harmon’s crack legal team would be on them like yellow on Frazier Thomas’ sport coat.

Bob Bell

Harmon’s most successful pupil was WGN-TVs Bob Bell who assumed the role of Chicago’s favorite clown between 1960 until he hung up his (artificial) red nose 1984. Bell and Bozo were so popular that there was a ten-year wait for tickets to a live taping of the lunchtime show. I went with my fourth grade class, but sadly the tips, and the tips only, of the magic arrows never landed on me, but I did get a free Bun (by Wayne) candy bar.

If there is a God, funeral services will be held at 2501 W. Bradley Pl. The notable pall bearers, including Oliver O. Oliver, Sandy the Clown, Mr. Ned, Bob Trendler, Cooky the Clown and Golly the Gorilla, will carry Mr. Harmon’s remains to the studio where he will forever be interred in Bucket #6.

Links:
Classic Chicago TV and Radio Memoribilia

Bozo le Clown

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Treasured Memories About Growing Up In Chicago, The Sequel: The Billy Goat Tavern

July 1st, 2008 by Scott Marks

Credit anjan58 @ Flickr.com

Credit anjan58 @ Flickr.com

How many nights did I close the Goats?

Long before John Belushi’s myth-making “Cheezeborger, Cheezeborger” transformed the Billy Goat Tavern into a tourist attraction, it was my bar of choice and it remained that way until the day I moved. It was the great equalizer, a place to drink with friends who hawked beer and Frosty Malts at Wrigley Field or catch a burger before hitting a screening with David Elliott. (Elliott never drinks…in public.)

There was nothing phony or pretentious about the subterranean watering hole. Buried beneath the Tribune Building in the bowels of Lower Michigan Ave., the Goat never saw the light of day. It was a spacious dive, it’s main room to the right as you walk in, the food court in the middle with an L-shaped bar off to the right. The nicotine lacquered walls were adorned with photos of many Chicago dignitaries.

Mike Royko wrote lovingly about the joint and many a night I saw the great Chicago journalist throwing back a few with everyone from Sun-Times pressmen to characters destined to influence his next Slats Grobnick column.

La Toitel (Credit Andrew Huff @ Flickr.com)

When I first started going there they actually had a live goat roped in a room located behind the bathrooms (Billy for boys, Nanny for girls). The hangout’s originator William Sianis was nicknamed “Billy Goat” for his uncanny resemblance to bovidae. Unfortunately, I never had the privilege of meeting the man. His son Sam Sianis, a stocky, flat-nosed Greek scrapper with the tail of his necktie forever tucked between the third and fourth button holes of his shirt, rose to power after the old Goat croaked.

Sam occasionally made an appearance at the grill (usually when the tour bus delivered a load of gawkers), doing his best imitation of Sianis-doing-Belushi-doing-Sianis. You could tell that the guy hated being reduced to a boneheaded stereotypical immigrant, but if it’s good for business…NO COKE…PEPSI!. On Saturday Night Live, the catchphrase was “No Coke…Pepsi,” while in fact the Goat served the most turned on Coca-Cola in greater Chicagoland. The high syrup-to-carbonation ratio of their pharmaceutical Coke was indeed invigorating. And a Boston coffee was always in order, particularly on those nights when it helped thaw the winter chill.

During my regime, a Greek fella named Paul was the chief burger flipper. This guy made the best goddamned double cheeseburger, so good that that’s what he called it. My pack and I would walk in the door, Paul would light up, hit the bell and yell out, “One goddamned double cheeseburger!” which was invariably followed by a softer, more sincere, “on a hard roll or bun?” I adore creatures of habit!

Credit mnScouser @ Flickr.com

The horror…the horror… (Credit mnScouser @ Flickr.com )

Continue reading Treasured Memories About Growing Up In Chicago, The Sequel: The Billy Goat Tavern

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115 Treasured Memories About Growing Up In Chicago

June 26th, 2008 by Scott Marks

In no particular order:

1. Santa’s Village (East Dundee) - The first franchised theme park. No matter how hot it got, there was always that thermodynamic marvel, the outdoor slab of ice that never thawed. 2. Hollywood Kiddieland (Devon & McCormick) - A great thrill for any child was a ride to a birthday party on the Kiddieland Firetruck. 3. Adventureland (Addison) - Bring this ad for one free box of popcorn. 4. Linn Burton for certain for Bert Weinman Ford - Blinding white hair and the fastest pronunciation of the words “full delivered price” on record. 5. Cellozzi-Ettleson, where you always save more money! 6. Ed Roberts for Beren’s Automotive and the Beren’s Bear Rocking Chairs. 7. Baby Huey’s Bar (Sheridan N. of Devon) - Huge likeness of the Harvey-Toons heavyweight sat in his nest atop the entranceway. 8. Kroch’s and Brentano’s on Wabash - Spent days in their basement. 9. Oak Street Bookstore (Next to the Esquire Theater) - Owned by a classy old dame who chain smoked. 10. Chandler’s in Evanston - After Kroch’s folded, my literary basement of choice. 11. Michael Alan Clothes Store (Touhy W. of California) - Shopped here as a kid. Run by Mr. & Mrs. Silverman. He always had a butt dangling from his mouth when he took measurements. The store stocked the finest in “Husky” clothes. 12. Chernin’s Shoes on Roosevelt Road - Not that I’m a shoe hound, I just have fond memories of going there with my folks. It was an orthodox shoe store: women on the right, men on the left.

13. Red Goose Shoes - Loved when the goose crapped out the Golden Egg filled with cheap plastic trinkets. Also gave away incredibly gay Buster Brown Comics, but did reward me with a special edition Three Stooges comic book (which I still have!) 14. Neumode Hoisery and the way the drummer on the Bozo Band would hit the wood block three times when Mr. Ned said “no bind top.” 15. Shopper’s World later became Community (Devon & McCormick) - A place we could walk to when bored. 16. Winsberg’s (Clark & Granville) - Decent neighborhood clothing store that Bob Leff worked at! 17. Crawford’s - The only department store on Devon Ave. Great brown and yellow logo and outdoor sign. 18. E. J. Korvette’s (Dempster & Waukegan) - Named after 8 Jewish Korean Veterans.

Credit: TouringCyclist @ Flickr.com

19. Superdawg (Devon/Milwaukee/Nagel) From the bottom of its pure beef heart the best hot dog and crinkle-cut fries on the planet. Continue reading 115 Treasured Memories About Growing Up In Chicago

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Danny Thomas at Chicago’s 5100 Club (1943)

June 22nd, 2008 by Scott Marks

Located at 5100 N. Broadway Avenue, The 5100 Club was a forerunner of contemporary stand-up comedy clubs. When struck by a sentimental pang, my mother would pull out the enormous satchel that housed the Marks/Aaronson Tribe Archives.

This 5 x 8 souvenir photo was taken April 4, 1943. Mom spoke very fondly of the nights she and various family members spent watching Danny Thomas perform at the club. This was before television and the 5100 was not only “Chicago’s Greatest Entertainment Value,” it offered desperately needed relief for families whose brothers, sons and husbands were off fighting Hitler and Tojo.

According to the Daily Catholic’s equivalent of People Magazine’s 100 Sexiest People list, Danny Thomas placed 86 on the Top 100 Catholics of the Century. While failing to mention his coveted recipe for Eggs Danny Thomas Style, the ecumenical electronic tabloid does provide this blessed bio.

As a struggling radio actor, Danny fell to his knees before the Blessed Sacrament and asked: “Help me find my place in life and I will build You a shrine where the poor and the helpless and the hopeless may come for comfort and aid.” The BS put him in touch with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus who suggested he change his name from Amos Jacob to Danny Thomas. In no time the beak-nosed Thomas was hired by the club as their head funnyman.

Leo Salkin booked him into the Uptown club for $75 a week and within a year Danny was the star attraction raking in $500. Abe Lastfogel, head of the William Morris Agency, took over as his personal manager, brought his star to New York and eventually Hollywood where he became an overnight sensation on ABC-TV’s Make Room For Daddy.

This happy gathering looks like something out of The 3 Stooges Scrapbook, but it’s my family. Back row: Unidentified, my maternal grandparents Benjamin and Elizabeth Aaronson, my aunt Gen and Mom. Front row: PRC bit player, my aunt and uncle Sarah and Jerry Glickman and my beloved Aunt Syl.

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R. Kelly acquitted on all charges - Lock up your daughters!

June 13th, 2008 by Scott Marks

After six years and a highly publicized case, R. Kelly will not move from out of the closet and into a jail cell. It took the jury assigned the R&B singer’s child pornography trial less than three hours to clear him on all 14 counts filed against him.

Kelly was charged with videotaping himself having sex with an underage girl, who prosecutors say was as young as 13. If convicted, he faced a minimum of four years in prison and a maximum of 15 years. He would also have had to register as a sex offender in Illinois.

The jury—nine men and three women—deliberated for about three hours Thursday and part of today before reaching their verdicts.

As the first “not guilty” was read, R. Kelly dipped his head and kept it bowed during the entire reading of the 14-count verdict. It must have felt more exciting than a splash of warm urine to the face.

Kelly never took the witness stand during the trial. After being cleared, he removed a baby blue handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed away his tears of joy.

The Chicago Sun-Times reports, “When word of the verdict spread through the courthouse, some Cook County deputies — as well as lawyers walking through the building’s first floor hallways — cheered.”

Outside the courthouse, approximately 75 of Kelly’s supporters applauded when the verdict was read.

Kelly did not talk with reporters, but a spokesman said, “Most of all, he wants to thank God for giving him the strength to get through this.”

The key question for the jurors was whether they believe it was Kelly in the video, as prosecutors contend. Kelly’s attorneys say it wasn’t him. There were questions concerning a distinctive mole on Kelly’s back that doesn’t appear on the videotape.

The Sun-Times noted, “Defense attorneys keyed in on the fact that the victim, now an adult, has denied she’s the one on the tape. They noted that Kelly’s goddaughter is a ’sweet, nice young lady,’ and certainly wouldn’t have accepted cash for sex, as the girl in the tape is shown doing.”

Links:
R. Kelly jurors shown graphic sex video…again & a discussion of Trapped in the Closet

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R. Kelly jurors shown graphic sex video…again

June 12th, 2008 by Scott Marks

I envision an Elks Club smoker where after the stag reel winds it way through the 8mm projector, some sloshed joker in the back cocks his fez and shouts, “Let’s see it again!”

Perhaps the textural nuance and dialectical montage were too much for the jury to absorb in one viewing. This morning, prosecutors at R. Kelly’s child pornography trial replayed the graphic sex tape at the center of the case, working to lay to rest any doubts in jurors’ minds that the couple depicted on the video were indeed the R&B singer and an underage female.

Emulsion Compulsion has kept quiet long enough. Child porn accusations notwithstanding, R. Kelley is a God. This opinion is not based upon his accomplishments as a singer / songwriter. As a vocalist, I know as much about R. Kelly as I do Kelly Clarkson.

It is the auteur that I embrace. Only the jury will ever get to experience R.’s complete oeuvre. For the rest of us, there is Trapped in the Closet.

It appeared to me on some noxious entertainment program. Kelly was interviewed, clips were shown and my head cocked like a dog’s hearing a can opener. You won’t go hungry with this one.

I have only witnessed Chapters 1-12 mainly because the place where I buy my cigarettes has yet to get a used $3.00 copy of 13-22. There is something to live for!

With a nod to Chaplin, Kelly wrote, produced, co-directed, scored and stars in this serialized video soap opera that’s worthy of Ed Wood. The technical ineptitude is indescribable and there are more racial stereotypes than a ‘Snowflake’ retrospective. It’s certain that Closet devotee and EC lifer Joel Wicklund will have more to add in the comments section. And now back to the news…

During closing arguments, Kelly’s attorney’s insisted that that neither Kelly nor the alleged victim are the people on the tape. And I suppose that wasn’t Marilyn Monroe on her knees and Sylvester Stallone isn’t The Italian Stallion. Defense attorney Sam Adam Jr. told jurors that charges stemmed from people trying to extort money from the Grammy winner and noted that the man on the tape “may favor him.”

Kelly’s latest video, People’s Exhibit No. 1, shows a female dancing and urinating on the floor—the man out of view. Back in view, he has sex with her. In one scene near the end of the video, alluded to in one count of the indictment, the man urinates on the female.

Now do you understand the jury’s need for an encore presentation?

What’s with all the bodily functions? This water sports stuff is almost as indefensible as Kelly’s inability to rhyme (”He’s opening the dresser / I pull out my berreta”). At least he didn’t pull a Chuck Berry.

Kelly, 41, has pleaded not guilty to 14 counts of child pornography. Both he and the alleged victim, now 23, deny being on the tape and neither testified at trial.

As reported on Breitbart, defense attorney Adam said that the alleged victim’s relatives know it’s not her on the video because “any solid man in that family, any solid woman in that family would have gone over there and broken his legs, would have gone over there and beat the crap out of him.”


Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 1-22 (2007)

 

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