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Thoughts on Martin Scorsese’s Kennedy Center Honor

December 27th, 2007 by Scott Marks

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Bob Hope is still everywhere! More dangerous dead than he ever was alive, Hope’s cameo in the opening credits made up for the fact that not one damned clip of Jerry Lewis in King of Comedy was included in the retrospective montage.

Haven’t the Mama Lukes at the Kennedy Center ever heard of saving the best for last? How do you like Marty opening the show? Where do they get their balls big enough to disrespect Him like this? My bet is the Nielsen’s dropped dramatically after the first 20 minutes.

In her introduction to the gala, Caroline Kennedy referred to Marty as a “keen-eyed boy.” Cut to alter boy Scorsese, eyes pointed skyward as though he were posing for Holy Pictures. Can someone out there pull me a screencap?

What’s with that camera whore Diana Ross constantly flapping her big mitts together and blocking Marty’s shot?

Cameron Diaz said nice words about Him. She’s a good gumod.

Marty looked very nervous perched in that box. What do they gotta’ put that Bush and his flunky Condy so close? Johnny Roast Beef should have pulled a Hollywood or Bust and bounced them out of the balcony.

Frizzle-top Diana Ross was probably seething when she heard The Ronnettes’ Be My Baby during Marty’s tribute.

Francis Ford Coppola was brief and amusing. He confessed that people often confuse him with Marty by complimenting him on Goodfellas’ superiority over The Godfather.

How different would DeNiro’s speech have been had the Kennedy Center honored Marty in 1981? Still basking in the glow of “America’s greatest living actor” accolades, you can bet your Bickle that he wouldn’t have come out with three minutes of over-rehearsed standup. See what those Analyze and Focker pictures did to Bobby D? His speech (and delivery) sounded like outtakes from Rupert Pupkin’s spot on the Jerry Langford Show. “If Marty had directed tonight’s show, I’d have whacked Steve Martin by now.” Who wrote that s*it, William Monahan?

Why did they gloss over Mahogany in Diana Ross’ segment?

Finally, they had to close on a note of class by having some Russian broad named Anna Netrebko come out and perform Beethoven’s Choral Fantasy. What do they got a Russian singing Italian opera for? Ooooh!

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