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Dug Holes: Celebrity Deaths of 2007

December 30th, 2007 by Scott Marks

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2007 Necrology

  • Frank Capra Jr. – Son of, well…you know. Frank, Jr. bankrolled Firestarter (George C. Scott as a one-eyed Native American child molester who has the hots for a spontaneously combustible Drew Barrymore), Vice Squad (Wings Hauser’s signature role as ‘Ramrod’) and one of Woody’s most underrated of his early funny films, Play it Again, Sam.
  • Freddie Fields – Producer, studio exec and legendary agent to the stars. Before founding C.M.A., which in turn became I.C.M., Fields worked as a booking agent for Abby Greshler and represented Dean & Jerry.
  • Ike Turner – Wife beating drug abuser who is undobtedly rolling on the river to hell.
  • Roger King – Half of the King Brothers responsible for syndicating Oprah.
  • Evil Knievel – Loudmouthed “hero” whose claim to fame was an ability to jump motorcycles over trucks.
  • Robert Goulet – Canadian born singer whose matinée idol looks never scored with the moviegoing public. While not singing the same two songs overandoverandover, he smacked around first wife Carol Lawrence and was responsible for a hefty bar tab before finding the Lord gave his career a new lease on life.
  • Dick Wilson – TV pitchman with a fetish for squeezing toilet paper.
  • Ronnie Burns – Wallace, the Hucklebuck-spinning atomic passion on the Young at Heart episode of The Honeymooners. Ronnie was the adopted son of George Burns and Gracie Allen.
  • Norman Mailer – Controversial, hard-living guru of machismo. For what it’s worth, The Executioner’s Song is one of my all time favorite reads. Let’s do it!
  • George Osmond – Donnie and Marie’s old man.
  • Joey Bishop - Last surviving member of The Rat pack known for never smiling and his putting green haircut. Son of a gun!
  • Deborah Kerr – A towering cinematic presence, Ms. Kerr graced countless masterworks. Stop reading and go rent Black Narcissus and The Life and Death of Col. Blimp.
  • Teresa Brewer – Put another nickel in the casket.
  • Wener Von Trapp – One of Julie Andrews’ sons.
  • Johnny Pavarotti – Edison gum spokesman and SCTV class act.
  • Lou Brown – Brother of Les and Jerry’s personal conductor for 148 years. He can be seen hanging on the bar when Buddy Love orders the Alaskan Polar Bear Heater in The Nutty Professor and as himself in The King of Comedy.
  • Marcel Marceau– World’s greatest mime. Is that good?
  • Alice Ghostley– Nervous plain-Jane that was forever branded “Esmerelda” after a handful of appearances on Bewitched
  • Brett Somers– Queen of The Match Game who learned the language of love in the arms of Jack Klugman. A foul-mouthed boozin’ old broad who still delights millions on Game Show Network reruns.
  • Jerry Mahoney - Piscataway, NJ police officer shot dead by his son. Mahoney’s lifeless body was found hanging limp on a stool in the living room with multiple gunshot wounds to his face and a hole in his back big enough to fit your hand through. (I’m gonna’ milk this gag for all it’s worth!)
  • Laraine Day - She worked for Hitchcock and DeMille, hit it big with the public in the Dr. Kildaire series and appeared in a couple of top film noir (The Locket, Mr. Lucky), but Laraine Day never achieved stardom in ‘A’ quality pictures.
  • Delbert Mann - Apprenticed in the Golden Age of Television and it shows in every frame of every actor-driven teledrama in the guise of cinema he filmed.
  • Jane Wyman – Bland, ex-Reagan life partner who never changed her hair style.
  • Miyoshi Umeki – She won an Oscar while Hitchcock and Cary Grant had to settle for cheap humanitarian giveaways.
  • Lillian Ellison aka The Fabulous Moolah- Be strong. She is now in God and Wally Carbo’s care.
  • Melville Shavelson - After decades of killing audiences with his work for Bob Hope, writer/produce/director Melville Shavelson died of natural causes at his Studio City home.
  • Stanley Myron Handelman – Nebbish comic who had a brief vogue on Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In.
  • Merv Griffin – I see his name and all I can think of is Rick Moranis’ dead-on impression on SCTV or images that involve Denny Terrio that are much too gamy for even Emulsion Compulsion,
  • Lee Hazelwood – Country and pop singer who gained fame writing These Boots are Made for Walking, which is exactly how Nancy Sinatra exited his life.
  • Michelangelo Antonioni – Next to Lillians’ Ellis and Munster, the biggest loss on this list. A luminous visionary, Antonioni’s directorial style deployed architecture as a third character better than all others. L’Avventura is still the single greatest goof on cinema ever filmed.
  • Ingmar Bergman – Swedish director known for ticking clocks, a dead God and long suffering protagonists.
  • Tom Snyder – Acerbic, at times funny host of NBC-TV’s The Tomorrow Show. He will be missed.
  • Tammy Faye Baker – Painted religious fanatic who along with first hubby Jim, bilked thousands of PTL donors out of millions of dollars. Jim went to jail while Tammy’s career as a talk/reality show sycophant flourished.
  • Ed Friendly - Producer responsible for Laugh-In and Little House on the Prairie. One out of two ain’t bad.
  • Charles Lane– The meanest man in Hollywood, this character actor was responsible for more foreclosure and eviction notices than any 20 others combined.
  • Joel Siegel – Good mourning, America!
  • Liz Claiborne – Face painter.
  • Claudia Cohen – Strictly upper crust gossip reporter once married to the guy who played Hellboy.
  • Dabbs Greer – Bit player who appeared in over 250 movies and TV shows. He was a staple of many film noir including numerous appearances for Don Siegel. Best remembered for his role as Harrison Pebbel in The Superman Silver Mine.
  • Mr. Wizard – Don Herbert captivated and influenced millions of young television viewers. I was not one of the throng. Too bland for my tastes Mr. Wizard was the scientific precursor to Mr. Rogers.
  • Charles Nelson Reilly – One of the first openly gay actors on television, Chuck, along with his tier partner Brett Somers, ruled the roost on the Match Game. He joins the ranks of Carl Reiner and Rip Taylor as an entertainer who knew how to milk a bad toupee.
  • Betty Hutton – Rough going. Take Preston Sturges out of the equation and you have Doris Day in Martha Raye’s clothing. Thank you Lord. Answering your calling forced Betty to abandon her career as an actress. Then again, a cameo in Earthquake and/or The Swarm would have been nice.
  • Richard Jeni – Reasonably amusing comedian who died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
  • Bobby Rosengarden – n. rose-en-gar-din

    • 1. Sammy Davis, Jr.’s conductor for the past 111 years, ladies and gentlemen.
    2. To call for a “Timpani” in the manner or Sam. Jerry already monopolized “Timpani,” so Sammy came up with his version, a “Rosengarden” and called for one each time the WOR tote board changed.

  • Janet Blair – Sparkling singer/actress known for playing Eileen in the Alexander Hall version of My Sister Eileen.
  • Barbara McNair – Sexy singer/actress whose Playboy layout was responsible for many a teenage boner.
  • Anna Nicole Smith – If I may borrow from Otto Preminger, “A vacuum with nipples.”
  • Frankie Laine – San Diego resident best remembered (by me) for singing the theme from Blazing Saddles.
  • Tige Andrews – Staple of 50s service comedies, and a welcome visitor in my home as Capt. Adam Greer on The Mod Squad.
  • Porter Wagoner - Country and Western singer who was buried inside a box of Breeze Laundry Detergent.
  • Karl Hardman - Night of the Living Dead’s Mr. Cooper.
  • Sidney Sheldon - As a novelist or producer, Sheldon was a hack of all trades.
  • Ron Carey – Got his break on Merv, appeared in several Mel Brooks’ movies and gained immortality on Barney Miller.
  • Denny Doherty – One-quarter of the Mamas and Papas.
  • Yvonne DeCarlo – Lily Dracula Munster.
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