Review: 44 INCH CHEST / Malcolm Venville (2009)
January 29th, 2010 by Scott Marks
Ian McShane, Tom Wilkinson, Ray Winstone, John Hurt and Stephen Dillane.
44 Chest Inch Chest (2009)
Directed by Malcolm Venville
Written by Louis Mellis and David Scinto
Starring: Ray Winstone, John Hurt, Ian McShane, Tom Wilkinson, Stephen Dillane and Joanne Whalley
Photographed by Dan Landin
Running Time: 95 min.
Rating: 
Walking up the aisle while the closing credits rolled a thought crossed my mind: Why did they name it “44 Inch Ch…,” oh, I get it.
That’s not all I got. IMBD lists it as a drama, but from where I sat “44 Inch Chest” is the funniest film I’ve seen since “Inglourious Basterds.”
“44 Inch Chest” had me about five minutes in when I saw the poodle cowering under the sofa. Name another film that bothered to care about what happens to the family pet after its owner has been killed. (It’s probably the only drop of genuine compassion shown throughout the entire picture.) But this is not a murder scene and that’s where the brilliance of the opening segment comes into play.
Shots follow shots in the most unexpected manner. We open on a ransacked house and come to rest on Colin’s (Ray Winstone) presumably dead body while awaiting a flashback to explain how he managed to land in such a wretched state. After a beat the body stirs and before long we realize that for 95 minutes all the poor schmuck is going to do is suffer for his macho sins. It’s not as though Colin isn’t a sentimental bloke at heart. He repeatedly listens to Harry Nilsson’s “Without You” to ease the pain of brutalizing Liz (Joanne Whalley), his wife of 21 years. He’s also quite the romantic. Who else in the cast would allow their missus free access to the remote control?
At first glance Meredith (Ian McShane) appears to be the picture of heterosexual virility. That is until we cut to a naked young stud stretched out across his couch. Soon Meredith and three other friends join Colin, but what for? Archie (Tom Wilkinson) lives with his mom and is the most casually dressed of the bunch. Mal (Stephen Dillane) could be a stock broker, were it not for the tattoo poking out from underneath his collar, and as for Old Man Peanut (John Hurt), well, we’ll get to him later.
Why do the quintet of hoods climb into the back of a van? Are they going to knock over a bank? They’re not wearing gloves or masks. When they pull up to the French café, surely the boys aren’t out for a bite of lunch. Their aim is to kidnap Loverboy (a mute Melvil Poupard), the young stud who has stolen Liz’s heart.
After the gents settle into their hideaway, where they dine on potato chips and booze straight from the bottle, all traces of cinema cease as the proscenium arch creeps into the frame and the original screenplay becomes a filmed stage play. Normally at this point my mind would have been out the door, but the dialog and performances are so acutely off-putting that I continually found my hand slapping against my knee, something that hasn’t happened since “Borat.”
Continue reading Review: 44 INCH CHEST / Malcolm Venville (2009)
Tags: 44 Inch Chest, film noir, Film Review, Ian McShane, John Hurt, Movie Review, Ray Winstone, sexy beast, Stephen Dillane, Tom WilkinsonFiled Under Reviews, Theatrical
DVD Review: TONY ROME / Gordon Douglas (1967)
December 1st, 2008 by Scott Marks
Tony Rome (1967)
Directed by Gordon Douglas
Written by Richard L. Breen from a novel by Marvin H. Albert
Starring: Frank Sinatra, Richard Conte, Jill St. John, Simon Oakland, Gena Rowlands, Sue Lyon, Lloyd Bochner, Lloyd Gough and Jilly Rizzo as “Card Player”
Photographed by Joseph Biroc in 
and DeLuxe Color
Running Time: 110 min.
Rating:
Forgive my brief lapse of sequel dyslexia by reviewing Lady in Cement before Tony Rome.
The first voice you hear belongs to Frank Sinatra’s youngest and most successful daughter Nancy who lyrically cautions viewers that they had better lock up their daughters if they don’t want the character played by her father to get them. Nowhere near as homophobic or sexist as its sequels, Tony still begins with a zap zoom into a sexy butt, inexplicably match cut with a boxer’s behind. An hour later, Tony appears to have stepped into a reel of The Killing of Sister George.
Marvin H. Albert’s source material provides a Raymond Chandler-lite (The Little Sleep?) detective yarn perfectly suited for that season’s Sinatra vehicle. Tough monkey Tony quit the force and became a P.I. after his cop dad put a gun to his head and redecorated the apartment. Ralph Turpin, played by Robert J. Wilke, Written on the Wind’s bartender with a “hair trigger,” call his ex-partner to the hotel he now “dicks” at. Even though the dissolution of the partnership was acrimonious, Rome goes so far as accusing Turpin of getting his kicks hanging around schoolyards, Ralph stands behind upright Tony. He swears that “Georgia would sooner elect a colored governor” than Tony would rat out a source. Turpin calls in a favor and asks his old buddy to help cover for a rich dipsomaniac, Diana Pines (Sue Lyon), found passed out in one of the rooms. Diana eventually leads Rome to her wealthy adoptive family who before long all offer him $500 a day plus expenses to solve their personal mysteries. What entails involves the usual amount of dirty film noir secrets, stolen jewelry and, what else, homicide.
Tony lives on a houseboat and spends much of Lady in Cement dressed as a Miami beachcomber. Tony Rome’s Tony wears a dapper, man-tailored suit and cocked fedora that transform the Miami Beach gumshoe into something left over from the Songs for Swinging Lovers album cover.
Jill St. John takes ‘Rome’ by storm.
Continue reading DVD Review: TONY ROME / Gordon Douglas (1967)
Tags: detective film, DVD Review, film noir, Film Review, Frank Sinatra, gordon douglas, jill st. john, lady in cement, marvin h. albert, tony rome, tony rome reviewkeep looking »