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Review: MAMA MIA! / Phyllida Lloyd (2008)

July 17th, 2008 by Scott Marks

Cinema or an aerobics class at Curves?

Mama Mia! (2008)
Directed by Phyllida Lloyd
Written by Catherine Johnson
Starring : Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Amanda Seyfried, Colin Firth & Stellan Skarsgård
Running Time 108 min.
Aspect Ratio:

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

Normally I am a firm believer that cinema should show no gender. Whether PR types, eager to brand their product, push them as chick flicks or dick flicks, there is no reason a woman can’t be blown away by Deliverance or a man Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

And then there’s Mama Mia! Oy vey is there Mama Mia!.

Like being breast-fed impalpable cheer for two hours, Mama Mia! is little more than a colorful travelogue with a bunch of sweeping shots of old broads doing calisthenics in the name of creative dance.

Amanda Seyfried is getting married and wants her father to give her away. The trouble is, the 20-year old is unsure which one of her mama’s past suitors spawned her so she invites the three likeliest sperm donors to her wedding in Greece.

From long before Three Loan Wolves right up to last year’s Definitely, Maybe (a much better film than Mia!), the “which one” premise has been played to death and if the only new wrinkle is the addition of ABBA tunes, blow out the pilot light!

I never thought I’d see the day when the words “You know, Shirley Valentine was better” would come out of my mouth.

While not a singer by any stretch of the imagination, at least Streep has the hubris to put across a song. The same is not true of Pierce Brosnan who managed to bring a momentary curl in my otherwise down-turned grin. Sadly, it was at his expense. Poor guy can’t carry a note in a proverbial bucket and there are a few heartfelt close-ups of him trying his best to sell a tune that will leave you howling.

Pierce Brosnan was allegedly so excited about sharing a screen with Meryl Streep and Julie Walters that he failed to ask producers how much money he would be paid.

This marks British theater and opera director Phyllida Lloyd’s first stab at movie-making. If she ever dispatched one of her operas with the same glib abandon she does cinema, elitists would call for her decapitation. As is, her camera cuts off more than its fair share of feet during the dance numbers.

Ms. Lloyd has no conception of how to make a movie musical. Numbers are adjoined two, sometimes three at a time. She positions the camera in as many different places as possible and for no apparent reason other than to stir up fresh cliches designed to showcase her paper-thin characters.

And talk about unbearable, am I the only one that wants to grab Julie Walters by the ankles and fling her through a plate glass window? Walters’ hyper performance as one of Streep’s childhood pals is the worst bit of acting I’ve seen this year. Her broad mugging and cloying asides seem to drag on for reels without once even bordering on wit or sophistication. She is now what she has always been - a two bit knock off of the equally insufferable Tracey Ullman.

Judging by the two block long line that packed the big Gaslamp Theatre for Tuesday night’s screening, audiences are going to swallow this whole. At least those in attendance weren’t out any cash. The winner takes it all and the losers are those who stand in line and pay top dollar to see this garbage.

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Filed Under Reviews, Theatrical

LIONS FOR LAMBS / Robert Redford (2007)

November 9th, 2007 by Scott Marks

lions-for-lambs.jpg

Lions for Lambs (2007)

Directed by Robert Redford

Written by Matthew Michael Carnahan

Starring: Meryl Streep, Tom Cruise, Robert Redford, Andrew Garfield, Michael Pena, Derek Luke, Kevil Dunn and Peter Berg

Running Time: 88 min.

Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

It appears as if mainstream American films finally caught wind that there’s a war going on. What else would cause Robert Redford to end his seven-year vacation from behind the camera and honor us with ninety long, lethargic minutes of close-ups, reverse angles and simple-minded liberal sloganeering.

Redford’s visual redundancy lost me five minutes in. Smart and spoiled college student Todd Hayes (Andrew Garfield) arrives for a meeting with Prof. Stephen Malley (Robert Redford). Malley’s name is not only printed on the professor’s door, to make sure Helen Keller in the back row notices, it’s also spelled out across the bottom of the screen.

Once inside, Hayes and Malley never shut their mouths. It’s like watching two rival debate club presidents have at it. Yap, Yap, Yap. All talk and no show.

Storyline No. 2 involves telejournalist Janine Roth (Meryl Streep).sitting in an office and interviewing presidential hopeful Senator Jasper Irving (Tom Cruise). It’s embarrassing to watch Cruise try to hold his own against Streep, the only one to escape from this slop with her dignity intact.

In order to break away from the cramped confines of his first two subplots, Redford appropriates an enormous set from Ice Station Zebra and has two soldiers (Derek Luke and Michael Pena) stumble from an airplane and spend the majority of their screen time together paralyzed in the snow. The fate of the two soldiers hinges on a top secret scoop Jasper is about to spill to Roth.

Six main characters moving at a snail’s pace in three cramped sets and they still can’t manage to edit it together properly. Editor Joe Hutsching (and some of Cruise’s self-righteousness) provides the only bright spots in an otherwise deadly dull lecture.

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Filed Under Reviews, Theatrical