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Notes on Speedy Gonzales & Slowpoke Rodriguez, his half-baked cartoon cousin

July 27th, 2008 by Scott Marks

Last night a Mexican friend came over to watch some cartoons and, being the patronizing gringo that I am, the evening began with a handful of Speedy Gonzales shorts.

Of all the superstars in the Warner Bros. cartoon canon, Speedy Gonzales is probably the most nonessential. Within thirty-six hours of purchasing each of the five Looney Tunes Golden Collections, I had watched every cartoon and most of the supplementary features, including the audio commentaries. Until last night, the Speedy Gonzales disc remained the only virgin in the set.

With the possible exception of Being There, a feature length comedy cannot, nor should not be a one note proposition. (See Arthur. The title character is a drunk. Get it?) Live actors squandering five reels in search of variations to play on a one trick premise seldom works, yet with a little ink and paper and only seven minutes to fill, one joke can work miracles. Everywhere that the Wolf went Droopy was sure to go. No matter how hard he tries, Wile E. Coyote will never dine on Road Runner. Every move Daffy makes leads to a buckshot facial from Elmer’s rifle. In each instance, the comic resourcefulness and precision character response jumps out from the screen.

A grinning Speedy Gonzales yells, “Andale! Andale! Epa, Epa! Arriba! Arriba!” as he zips past El Pussygato, arms burdened with cheese for his impoverished amigos who react to his beneficence by jumping up and down.

Suddenly Little Audrey looks good.

Speedy wasn’t always a cuddlesome, Mexican hat-dancing mouse. In Robert McKimson’s Cat-Tails for Two, the pesos needed in order for Speedy to secure what would eventually become his trademark sombrero were spent on an unappealing gold front tooth. According to Robert McKimson, Jr., the fastest mouse in Mexico (and friend of everybody’s sister) was based on a pair of Mexican brothers his father played polo with. The grimy rodent, pitted opposite a much more appealing pair of John Steinbeck retreads, discharged little audience appeal short of Mel Blanc’s well-seasoned vocalization that he had spent years perfecting on The Jack Benny Program.

The studio had faith in the character so Friz Freleng and his designer Hawley Pratt set about retooling the rodent. Their final solution was a featherless cross between Tweety Pie and the Road Runner. As a Coyote substitute to play opposite Gonzales, Freleng recruited the services of his venerable foil, and Tweety’s arch nemesis, Sylvester the Cat aka Sylvero Gato. Speedy would frequently sneak up behind Sylvester and substitute a couple of “Arriba! Andale’s!” for “Meep Meep’s’” that sent the cat soaring to the stratosphere. Cannibalizing his own creation, Freleng modified Tweety’s “I like him, he’s silly” catchphrase to fit the mouse.

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American Idol interrupted by Mexican gas commercial

April 8th, 2008 by Scott Marks

american_idol.jpg

Okay. I watch American Idol. It’s good when I can make you laugh. I actually thought I’d finish the season without letting my dirty secret out.

Settling in with a bowl of corn, I’m not allowed to savor the genius of Ryan Seacrist’s introduction before a cutaway transports me south of the border. Maybe it was part of Idol Gives Back, but that was supposed to run tomorrow night.

There were two dead giveaways that something was afoul: This guy was going on in Spanish far too long and the camera never moved. That’s not my Idol.

It appeared to be a pitch from the Mexican government to help settle the oil crisis. This was obviously a calculated move to get the attention of a large audience. It wasn’t just San Diego’s Fox channel that was being jammed. Several other English language speaking stations also simulcast the infomercial. I don’t speak Spanish, so I’m not exactly sure what was being said, but the damn guy jabbered on for 15 precious minutes.

To make matters worse, his delivery was very pitchy. To add further confusion, when the segment ended there was no booth announcer alerting the audience that “we now return to American Idol already in progress.”

Damn, dog! God damn! I missed San Diego’s own Carly Smithson’s performance. How am I going to know what number to text at 9 pm?

Jumping our border is one thing, crashing American Idol another. If you want fifteen minutes of prime time coverage, buy it legally, cavrone.

All right, since the cat’s out of the bag, what’s with Jason Castro’s crappy rendition of Over the Rainbow? Judy Garland fans goof on him. He looked like Tiny Tim with that big schnitz and his ukulele.

Go David Archuleta!!!

UPDATE 

So much for my American Idol scoop. It seems as though I am the only one who saw this Mexican informercial, probably because I am the only one in the entire free world who doesn’t get cable. The show ran in its entirety everywhere with the exception of over the airwaves. Someone was asleep at the wheel and probably pressed the wrong button.

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