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Battling Coreys: Did Michael Jackson molest Feldman and/or Haim?

June 24th, 2008 by Scott Marks

Looks like The Two Coreys is must-see TV.

On Sunday’s installment, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim went at it swapping shocking admissions of rape and molestation that leave many questioning whether Michael Jackson laid a glove on the boys.

Feldman threatened that he can “destroy” Haim, who then fires back with astonishing claims. “You let me get f–ked around in my life, raped so to speak, when I was about 14-and-a-half … by a guy you still f–king hang out with,” Haim says. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. What did you do? You knew about it — aside from being his best friend,” he continues.

Not to be overshadowed, Feldman shot back with a confession of his own. “I was being molested at the same time by somebody else … what did you do?”

Before befriending pint-sized Webster star Emmanuel Lewis and Home Alone’s Macaulay Culkin, hell, even before Mishu, Jacko set his sights on Corey Feldman. The two were inseparable. Jackson even went so far as dressing Feldman in his own image which resulted in satirical snickers when the Neverland ward appeared on The Howard Stern Summer Show mimicking his mentor’s every move.

Where were the young actor’s parent while all this was going on? Sitting at home and watching visions of dollar signs dance in their heads.

Feldman defends Jackson to this day. On Stern’s radio show Feldman deflected all accusations of molestation. In the July issue of GQ, Feldman denied that Jackson ever molested him, claiming that it was his assistant who “would come in when” he was sleeping.

Even as a kid Feldman was an insufferable showbiz sycophant, but I will gladly defend several of Haim’s early performances. While Feldman began his career imitating others, Haim brightened Joel Schumacher’s otherwise rancid The Lost Boys (which also featured Feldman) and the sentimental suicide romp Lucas. Stephen King’s Silver Bullet, in which Haim commandeers a wolfbane-covered wheelchair, makes for a very enjoyable update of the werewolf legend and Michael Apted’s Firstborn is a superb family drama that houses Haim’s best work.

For a brief period, it appeared as if the two Coreys would be their generation’s Spanky and Alfalfa. License to Drive and Dream a Little Dream were both so inept that even starry-eyed teens asked for their money back. Haim went from ‘A’ list projects to Snowboard Academy, Demolition High and massive amounts of drugs to help ease the pain and embarrassment. Feldman graduated from being a Joe Dante prodigy (Gremlins, The ‘burbs) to Rock ‘n’ Roll High School Forever, Meatballs 4 and massive amounts of drugs to help ease the pain and embarrassment.

After many rock-bottom years, Haim and Feldman have become the reality-TV equivalents of circus workers following an elephant with a shovel. Time to set the TiVo.

WATCH THE TWO COREYS EXPLODE!



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Filed Under Rants

Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch to be auctioned off to the highest bidder

February 27th, 2008 by Scott Marks

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Q: What did Emmanuel Lewis say to the hovering helicopter pilot?
A: NEVER LAND!!!

Unless Jacko can come up with the $24,525,906.61 he still owes on the Neverland Ranch, the gloved one’s Pleasure Island will be auctioned off to the highest bidder. The Santa Maria Times has learned that Financial Title Co. filed the notice of trustee’s sale with Santa Barbara County Superior Court, setting the auction date for March 19.

The Fox News website said a five-page notice of trustees sale stated that Jackson was “in default of a deed of trust” and “Unless you take action to protect your property it may be sold at a public sale.”

In 2006 authorities ordered the property to be boarded up and fined Jackson for failing to pay his 70 employees or maintain proper insurance. The pop superstar has not lived in the Ranch since 2005 when he was acquitted of all charges after being put on trial over allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior towards young boys.

Telegraph.co.uk noted, “At his trial, defence lawyers described Neverland as a fantasy-land where children from underprivileged areas would spend the day playing as Jackson did his creative thinking from atop a tree.”

When Jackson acquired the approximately 3,000 acre estate in 1987 he quickly installed a private amusement park complete with a Ferris wheel, merry-go-round, spider, sea dragon, wave swinger, super slide, dragon wagon kiddie roller coaster, bumper cars and the pop star’s favorite attraction, his zipper. Neverland also housed a well-stocked and fully operational zoo. All of the ranch’s furnishings and assorted fairground items would also be put on the auction block.

In addition to acting as an oasis for children, the Neverland Ranch also hosted numerous celebrity parties including the storybook wedding of Liz Taylor and Larry Fortensky.

Who would have guessed that Michael Jackson would belong to the more than 1 percent of US households that were in some stage of foreclosure during 2007? Certainly not Michu or Bubbles the Chimp.

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Filed Under News

Dig A Hole: Philip B. Dusenberry, Michael Jackson’s Flaming-Pepsi Connection

January 3rd, 2008 by Scott Marks



Remember that 1984 Billie Jean commercial that Michael Jackson did for Pepsi where sparks from some on-stage pyrotechnics set the King of Pop’s Jheri Curl ablaze? Philip B. Dusenberry, the advertising executive who oversaw the commercial died of lung cancer last Saturday in his Manhattan home. He was 71.Mr. Dusenberry oversaw the creative teams at BBDO, an advertising firm in the Omnicon Group. The agency was responsible for coining numerous famous taglines. In addition to dubbing Pepsi “The Choice of a New Generation,” BBDO informed America that Visa was “Everywhere You Want To Be” and that the nice folks at General Electric “Bring Good Things to Life.”

Mr. Dusenberry spent his career emphasizing entertainment in TV ad spots,. He championed attention-grabbing human stories over hammering product details. “I’m always going to be searching for emotion,” he said in an interview with the New York Times in 1986. “In an age when most products aren’t very different, the difference is often in the way people feel about the product.”

He was an early proponent of incorporating cinematic techniques and special effects in TV spots, and often cast celebrities in ads. PepsiCo was one of his longtime clients, and the ads starred celebrities, including Lionel Richie, Don Johnson, Madonna, Michael J. Fox and a side order of flaming Jacko Jubilee.

With cameras rolling, Jackson was sent to the hospital after the taping of the Pepsi commercial went drastically wrong, Special effects pots meant to produce smoke accidentally exploded. Three thousand fans saw a firework display erupt behind the superstar, showering him in sparks and setting light to his hair. Some studio audience members said he was so calm, they thought the incident was part of the act.

During the contract negotiation with Jackson, Mr. Dusenberry demanded that the singer not wear sunglasses in the spot, according to Mr. Dusenberry’s memoir, “One Great Insight Is Worth a Thousand Good Ideas,” which was originally called “Then We Set His Hair on Fire.”

Dusenberry had a brief encounter with cinema. He wrote screenplays for the unheard of 1973 political satire Hail to the Chief and Robert Redford’s instantly recognizable The Natural.

Mr. Dusenberry remained the chairman of BBDO North America until his retirement in 2002. Later that year he was inducted into Washington’s Advertising Hall of Fame.In October of 2007, he was inducted into the Creative Hall of Fame at the One Club, an organization in New York that promotes excellence in advertising.

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Filed Under Obituaries

MICHAEL JACKSON MADE IT WITH A SPACE ALIEN!!!

October 27th, 2007 by Scott Marks

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Either it’s not true, or a horrible thing to call Emmanuel Lewis. Stunted, yes, but a space alien?

It has to be true. Why else would a journalistic paradigm like the News Extra make it their cover story? The artist’s rendering is very convincing, but are those asteroids, nipples or dandruff poking through Jacko’s wife-beater’s t-shirt?

According to the “article,” the sex was pretty good. “I kept praying it wouldn’t stop,” Jackson cooed.

Apparantly it was a female starchild. Her age remains undetermined.

The one item that appears inconclusive: Joan Collins was a rotten mother.

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Filed Under Image Blog, Rants

What’s wrong with this photo of Michael Jackson?

July 13th, 2007 by Scott Marks

No, it isn’t Jacko’s mismatched socks. The real boner is that the icky girls outnumber the boys 3 to 1.

Neverland Raunch

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Filed Under Rants