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The Farrelly Bros. will direct “new” Three Stooges comedy

November 3rd, 2008 by Scott Marks

VISIT THIS SITE, I’M WARNING YOU!!!

It’s even more unthinkable than colorizing Kane. Would anyone dare suggest making a new Marx Bros. or John Wayne movie? You can’t! Perhaps one day technology will get to the point where actors can be digitally recreated, but we’re not there yet.

A Three Stooges biopic would be bad enough, but even that’s been done. Remember the Mel Gibson produced made-for-TV biography of the boys? (I guess if Jews are funny and violent enough, Mel will give them a pass.) Even with a talented director like James Frawley at the helm, it’s impossible to dramatize morons. When they signed with Columbia in the early 30s, the Stooges were taking home $20,000 a week. When their contract ended in 1959, their salary remained the same. Why didn’t Moe poke Harry Cohen in the eyes and demand more dough? BECAUSE THEY’RE STOOGES!

It may not be fashionable to admit, but I love The Three Stooges as much as Scorsese, Keaton and Ozu. Maybe not for the same reasons, but with equal fervor. You should have seen my fat ass hurry home every day after school to study the Boys on WGN-TV’s Andy Star’s Old Odeon Theatre.  Never more have I regretted being an only child then when Andy reminded his infantile audience that the Stooges were actors and kids at home should not try any of their shenanigans on their little brothers an sisters.

Someone should lock the Farrelly Bros. in a room with a bunch of Stooged-up toddlers and a table saw. According to Market Saw, the Farrelly Bros. and screenwriter Michael Cerrone are planning a big screen, 3D Stooge feature. I can almost hear Moe reaching from his grave to pull a bunch of weeds off of Larry’s.

The Boston Globe reports both Sacha Baron Cohen and Ricky Gervais are being eyed for the leads. Cohen is 6′ 3″ while the average Stooge stood about 4′ 2″. How about Michale Chiklis as Joe Besser, Armin Mueller-Stahl as Emil Sitka, Kathleen Turner as “Tiny,” Al Pacino as Shemp (he has the right height and filthy hair), Rev. Jeremiah Wright as Dudley Dickerson and wouldn’t Merlin Olsen make a sweet “Bustoff?”

Shemp and Moe Farrelly spent the past five years trying to unsuccessfully sell Warner Bros. on the idea. They instead convinced the knuckleheads at MGM to make the picture.

The studio has announced a Nov. 20, 2009 release date on the film. Is that before or after the Farrelly’s hotly anticipated Walter the Farting Dog will be released?

General Larry Fine

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Filed Under Gossip

The Three Stooges: A study guide to “Pop Goes the Easel”

March 30th, 2008 by Scott Marks

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Pop Goes the Easel marked the seventh of almost 200 two-reelers the boys made for Columbia pictures. Produced with minuscule budgets and equally tight shooting schedules it’s a miracle they were able to salvage enough footage to adhere to a movie screen for 17 minutes.

It’s always been my contention that The Three Stooges function best as a vacation from brainwork for hardcore cinephiles. Budding auteurs will learn more from studying the Three Stooges than they would from all the world’s film schools combined as these shorts are textbook examples of everything a filmmaker shouldn’t do.

This short has been with me since birth. I’ve seen it more times than I did my maternal grandparents. While it’s not the funniest Stooge opus, it is easily one of the most inept.

Sadly, the copy on You Tube was not taken from the remastered DVD so a couple of the finer aesthetic points will be lost in the translation. It’s also been sliced into three parts, so you’ll have to watch it on the installment plan.

PART ONE

00:59 Continuity: Larry stands next to the car holding his placard and in the next shot he’s leaning on the passenger door.
01:23 Enjoy Curly’s flood pants.

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02:40 There was never time for re-takes on a Stooge short. The force of the sign connecting with Moe must have loosened his clip-on tie. As he whistles for Larry and Curly, watch as his tie proceeds to fall loose into his jacket.
03:53 Continuity: In one shot the boys play hopscotch on a residential street and in the next they’re running down a commercial boulevard.
04:26 It sure takes the cop a long time to open that door.
05:40 Bookmark Curly’s dubbed in reaction sound when Moe gouges his eyes. This “inner dialogue” will come into play shortly.
05:55 Forget about the foreground action. The real laughs come from Curly’s background continuity.
06:35 Enjoy the way Moe steps into his brutal slap to Larry’s face.

PART TWO

01:11 Much has been made in Stooge circles of Moe and Curly’s “look at the grouse” exchange. I tolerate it while awaiting Larry’s hilarious squeal as he steps through the window.
01:25 Is there anything funnier than a fermished Larry?
02:10 Either that dumb flatfoot can’t figure out how to open a door or editor James Sweeney needs tightening lessons.
02:27 When left to his own resources, Moe’s dialog can be painfully unfunny. It’s worth wading through to get to Yiddish Swami Larry and a deaf and dumb Curly.
03:23 A prime example of the pay off justifying the set-up. Ballerina Phyllis Crane’s upside-down “It’s a boat” revelation is basically an excuse for Curly to let fly another “grouse.” This unexpected cutaway of Crane still balanced on her noggin is the closest the Stooges ever came to surrealism.
03:27 No time to re-take Moe’s flubbed line.
04:04 Love it any time Larry is punished for being enthusiastic.

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No pain, no gain

04:40 Is Moe poking Curly in the eyes or giving him devil horns from the front? Moe generally tried to pull his punches, but this is ridiculous!
04:48 Pay attention to the painting of the woman hanging above Moe. The art director obviously didn’t because when the boys run onto the next set the exact same portrait graces the wall.
04:51 Literally painted in a corner, the boys stand perplexed in front of a picture-covered wall. As soon as the cop comes snooping, the student’s artwork is inexplicably replaced by a black door.
05:02 So much ineptitude in so little time! In addition to the magic painting and black door, note that the Stooges exit a freshly painted floor and leave no footprints as they enter the next scene.
05:40 Watch the set shake after Curly shoves the cop.

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05:59 “My sister Crumbette…”
06:26 Remember the dubbed in Curly reaction I asked you to remember in Part 1? Here’s your repeat reward!

PART 3

00:05 Another stunningly obvious dubbed in Curly reaction sound.
00:09 & 01:05 The remarkable Larry-ism, “I”ll show you guys a pitcher what is a pitcher.”
00:36 & 02:03 Pop goes the same shot twice!

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01:30 What Larry does best: absorbing Moe’s abuse just seconds after giggling over pain inflicted upon fellow Stooge Curly (or Shemp).
02:09 It is imperative that any Stooge shoot has a bust perched on a high shelf that’s waiting to fall on the enemy’s head.

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02:12 For me, Jack Duffy’s questioning cameo still draws the short’s biggest laugh.
02:15 Another rule of Stoogedom: Toupees will be launched off bald heads by either hunks of clay or a pie.
02:29 Stooge math: White clay + Black Dress + Woman’s Chest = Big Laffs!
02:40 Second biggest laugh: Professor Fuller mistaking pounding clay for someone at the door.
03:05 More Stooge math: White clay + Black Dress + Deaf woman’s rump = Bigger Laffs!

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Videos: Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Photos: The Three Stooges

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Filed Under DVD, Reviews