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Gary Coleman: Diff’rent Strokes of a match

April 29th, 2008 by Scott Marks

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Gary Coleman & Yaphet Kotto in the riotous Playing With Fire (1985)

What you talkin’ ’bout arson?Long before he began pimping Cash Call, Gary Coleman started appearing in Chicago TV commercials. Wanting to appeal to an upscale African American clientèle, a local department store, I think it was Courtesy Home Furnishing, hired nine-year-old Gary and the legendary character actress Lillian Randolph (It’s a Wonderful Life, Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte “Mammy Two-Shoes” in the Tom and Jerry Cartoons) to star in the 60 second spots. Commercial high point: Lillian asking that “surburbs” call collect. (I still remember the phone number: 252-1155.)

Old Miss Lillian read her lines while seated in a chair while Coleman was animated, energetic, absolutely adorable and in addition, the camera loved him. So did the public. The commercials were a big hit and Gary became somewhat of a legend on local TV.

He was discovered by one of producer Norman Lear’s talent scouts. Lear signed him for a part in a TV revival of The Little Rascals, which never got produced. (Gary was to assume the role of “Stymie.”) In 1978 Lear gave Gary a shot on an episode of The Jeffersons and later that year he appeared on Good Times.

Coleman eventually signed with NBC, a network determined to make a star (and bundles of cash) out of the teensy thespian. In 1978 Coleman skyrocketed to fame as Arnold Jackson in the cursed sitcom Diff’rent Strokes.

In order to milk the cow for everythinbg it’s worth, Gary made guest appearances on numerous NBC shows including Buck Rogers, The Facts of Life and Silver Spoons. There was even the animated The Gary Coleman Show.

In 1985, one year before Strokes concluded it’s run on NBC, the network gave Gary an opportunity to show his dramatic side. The cinematic touchstone Playing With Fire aired in April of 1985 and if it pops up on one of your satellite channels, I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Ron “Superfly” O’Neal and Cicely “I’ll do anything that has a message no matter how obvious it is” Tyson star as Gary’s parents. The poor little fellow is having no end of difficulty both at home and at school, so in order to get the grownups attention, Gary starts burning down the neighborhood. The look on his face when he sets the fires should be wallpaper on everybody’s desktop.

Yaphet “I’m gonna’ strangle my agent” Kotto plays the fire chief who tries to jolt Gary’s parents from their state of denial before their house is next. Oh, hell! I Just gave away the ending.

Not since little Con played set himself ablaze in Susan Slade has playing with matches looked so appealing. Playing With Fire is not out on home video (don’t want to give the youngsters any wrong ideas), but I dubbed a copy off Lifetime years ago, so it’s out there somewhere. The film ends with a PSA in which Coleman warns kids of the evils of playing with fire. He should apologize for burning all who watch Playing With Fire.

Here’s the official NPB Photo Caption:

EXCLUSIVE TO YOUR CITY

DRAMATIC WARNING — Captain Walker (Yaphet Kotto) warns David Philliups (Gary COleman) about the danger of playing with fire, in an NBC World Premiere drama that dramatically explores the problem of teen-age arson. “Playing With Fire” will be telecast on NBC Sunday Night at the Movies April 14 (8-10 p.m. NYT).

(3/22/85)

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Bob Hope interfered with the thought patterns of millions of Americans

January 21st, 2008 by Scott Marks

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In all honestly this should have been the very first post on Emulsion Compulsion. The facts were made known to me eighteen years ago by the brilliant Jennifer DeSplinter, a former student who, after reading the following letters, understood the root of my borderline unhealthy preoccupation with Bob Hope. For years I had misplaced the vital documents I am about to detail. I pray that it’s not too late to help others afflicted by the immeasurable mental anguish inflicted upon them by Bob Hope.

God bless Sally Fox. Were it not for her brave disclosures who knows how many others would never have been made aware of the true source of their recurring head trauma. Even to this day, years after his death, Bob Hope continues to interfere with the thought patterns of millions worldwide, myself included. A high level industry source confirms that all of the RH2 DVD releases of Hope’s film and television work are electronically encoded with telekinetic thought transponders. These invisible carriers not only assault the memories of those who purchase and watch the videos, but all who enter their domiciles as well.

The man is indeed more dangerous dead than he ever was alive. Mr. Hope was set to leave us in January of 2001 after helping to inaugurate the second reign of the anti-Christ, but was kept alive until after war was waged against Iraq. (President Bush declared war on Iraq on March 18, 2003 and Mr. Hope was finally taken from us on July 23, 2003.) Am I the only one that finds it odd that “Hope” and “Atta” have 4 letters in their last names and both Bob and Mohammad had secretaries with the surname Kennedy? Coincidence? I think not.

The following correspondence was first brought to light by Harper’s Magazine in December of 1991. They detail the ignoble humiliation and cerebral decimation Ms. Fox underwent after seven years’ exposure to Bob Hope TV specials. Some may ask, why not just watch something else or leave the TV off altogether? We can’t. The power of Hope compels us.

Ms. Fox’s first plea for help was addressed to the investigative reporting staff of CBS News, NBC news, ABC News, CNN, 60 Minutes, United Press International and The National Enquirer, which shockingly failed to run with it.

June 17, 1988

Gentlemen,

I am involved in a phenomenal situation which I believe merits investigation.

The whole thing started about seven years ago when I began to “see” Bob Hope (the comedian) when I would close my eyes and concentrate. Through study, I learned that the reason I could “see” Bob Hope was because he is violently insane and uses abnormal thinking processes which introject and project others’ egos.

When this problem began, besides worrying about my mental health, I also felt that my civil rights were being violated by an other person’s insanity, so I began to write letters to the FBI. At first, the FBI thought I was crazy, but a year or so later, the FBI told me that they had been getting 800 to 900 complaints a day from people all around the country saying the same thing I was: Bob Hope is crazy and interferes with their normal thinking. The FBI told me they were investigating.

I told the FBI agent, and I am telling the press, that I believe, as a victim of this situation, that nothing will ever come of the investigation because Bob Hope is Ronald Reagan’s friend, and should it ever be proven that Bob Hope is insane, the President’s reputation would be at stake.

Because the FBI seems to be participating in a cover-up, I am begging the press to get involved.
Thousands of people are suffering, and we need help.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Sally Fox

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