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Oscar tickets sold on Craigslist angers Academy

July 25th, 2008 by Scott Marks

Sid Ganis must be working overtime, because the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences has learned the identity of the person who sold a couple of Oscar tickets on Craigslist for $5,000.

Yesterday, Superior Court Judge William Fahey ordered Craigslist to release the name of the individual who listed the ad in February. “Daniel” was the only name given to identify the poster of the ad.

The Academy does not like it when mortals disobey their sacrosanct pronouncements, but they’ll never tell you what really fuels the rage. Instead, they capitalize on a heritage of national paranoia by playing the security card. An official Academy shyster said, “ “If you don’t know who’s inside the theater, it’s very difficult to provide security.” Wouldn’t it have been funny if the tickets were purchased by people that posed a significant threat to America’s safety like Charles Manson and Chemical Ali? Instead, they were probably scalped to a couple of fanboys who’d swoon in the presence of Catwoman Halle Berry or anyone involved in the Harry Potter pictures. The only threat these geeks pose is accidentally ruining a photo-op by stumbling between the publicity hungry stars and the lenses of the paparazzi.

Gaining admittance to the auricular Masons is simpler than getting a library card compared to connecting with the prophylactic A.M.P.A.S. It’s easier to quit Scientology than it is join the Academy. Unless you’re Mel Gibson, Oscar doesn’t want any riffraff invading their sanctified shindig.

Right after this year’s ceremonies, the Academy sued several people and companies for selling or brokering Oscar tickets. In court documents, the Academy explicitly cautions invitees that they cannot sell or give their tickets away.

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Dig A Hole: Charles H. Joffe, Woody Allen’s loyal producer

July 15th, 2008 by Scott Marks

With Woody Allen off playing jazz, Jack Nicholson presents producers Charles H. Joffe (left) and Jack Rollins with their 1977 best pictures Oscar for Annie Hall.

Until today, I never knew what Charles H. Joffe looked like. His business partner Jack Rollins had a bit part in Broadway Danny Rose and frequent (hilarious) cutaways on Late Night with David Letterman, but until I stumbled across this photo on the LA Times website, Mr. Joffe’s face remained a mystery.

His name was anything but.

As with any good Hebrew student/retardate, repetition is the key to learning and I saw Mr. Joffe’s name appear on screen at least a hundred times. And that was just one movie!

That opening weekend screening of Woody Allen’s Take the Money and Run in the big Old Orchard Theatre was oxygen to my 14-year-old brain. It must have been a cheap rental for the film played on the bottom half of double-bills for years to come. No matter what theater, I was there and each one of my hundred-plus viewings came before home video.

Don’t ask how many times I saw Bananas.

More than Diane Keaton or Carlo Di Palma or Mia Farrow or even Jack Rollins, Charles H. Joffe’s name was synonymous with Woody Allen’s. Of the 44 films directed by Allen only four (two shorts, a made for TV feature and Tiger Lily) don’t include Charles H. Joffe’s name in the credits. He also produced two of Allen’s early non-directorial efforts, Play it Again, Sam and The Front.

I am saddened to report that Mr. Joffe died Wednesday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles after a long illness. He was 78.

Continue reading Dig A Hole: Charles H. Joffe, Woody Allen’s loyal producer

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Annette Bening elected to Academy Board of Governors

July 9th, 2008 by Scott Marks

The nice folks at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences want you to know that eight incumbents have been reelected to their prestigious board of governors, along with six other filmmakers who will return to the board after a time away. The sole first-time governor elected is Annette Bening, representing the actors branch. All will serve three-year terms.

The 50 members represent 15 general areas – actors, animators and short film makers, art directors and costume designers, cinematographers, composers and songwriters, documentary filmmakers, directors, executives, film editors, makeup artists and hairstylists, producers, public relations specialists, sound technicians, visual effects experts and writers. Each Governor may serve up to three consecutive three-year terms.

Returning to the board after a hiatus are Jeffrey Kurland, art directors; Martha Coolidge, directors; Arthur Hamilton, music; Don Hall, sound; and Phil Robinson, writers. The biggest slugs are the composers who combined never so much as struck a responsive chord.

I thought it would be fun (and take up far too much of my time) figuring out who each member is and just exactly what their contributions to cinema art and/or science are. The most professional group is the cinematographers who all represent the top of their field. As for the composers, suddenly John Williams sounds good.

Actors:

  • Ed Begley, Jr. - The journeyman character actor son of grumpy character actor Ed Begley. Jr. has worked steadily since he first hit the small screen in a bit role on My Three Sons. ECO conscious long before it became fashionable and purported to be a legendary Hollywood cocksman as evidenced by his role as “Soldier in Porn Film” in Paul Schrader’s Hardcore.
  • Annette Bening - Tony Award-nominated actress didn’t get her start in pictures until she was 30, something unheard of in youth-conscious Hollywood. I’ll quibble over her taste in roles, but her preeminence as an actress is unquestionable. Married to Warren Beatty, the two comprise one of the most powerful couples in Hollywood history.
  • Tom Hanks - Current, self-appointed corporate spokesman for the motion picture industry.
  • Henry Winkler - Aaaaaaaaayyy! How’d he make the cut?

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Oscar 80 Post Game Recap

February 25th, 2008 by Scott Marks

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In spite of Robert Boyle’s speech, the 2008 Academy Awards came in ten minutes shy of it’s anticipated 210 minute running time. With the exception of Julie Christie’s surprising loss to Marion Cotillard, it was pretty much Oscar by numbers. Let’s take a moment to dismember this year’s low and high points.

  • Jon Stewart hosts a politically slanted cable comedy show and has no business presiding over the Oscars. Next year I want Mickey Rooney to host.
  • Wesley Snipes and Spike Lee looked like they were dressed for a day at the track.
  • The Dennis Hopper old age cracks served as a warm up for Robert Boyle.
  • It was great to see Charles Napier in a Diet Coke commercial.
  • This year’s clip reels were particularly dull. Put Chuck Workman out to stud.
  • Two best acceptance speeches of the night: Ratatouille’s Brad Bird reminiscing about a belligerent Junior High guidance counselor who gave him the perfect training to work in the film business and Tilda Swinton goofing on rubber-nippled George Clooney on the set of Michael Clayton.
  • Katherine Heigl looked stunning, but have you ever seen a more nervous presenter? I think that Colin Farrell slipped on a puddle she left.
  • It was an especially bad hair year for Oscar nominees and presenters. Amy Adams, Katherine Heigl and Kennedy clone Patrick Dempsey came off best. Tilda Swinton looked like she just stepped out of the shower while Cate Blanchett, Keri Russell, Ellen Page, Tom Hanks, Renee Zellwegger, John Travolta’s yarmulke cut and the gang stationed at the Al Faw Palace on Camp Victory in Baghdad all needed more time in the chair.
  • Norbit was robbed.
  • Three, count ‘em, three Bob Hope references.
  • What dosage of Paxil is Amy Adams on? God damn if that Happy Work Song wasn’t happy.
  • Jon Stewart gets the Ed Norton award for laughing at his own jokes.
  • Patrick Dempsey, Miley Cyrus and The Rock shouldn’t be allowed to watch the Academy Awards on TV let alone stand on the stage.
  • Is it my imagination or did the ceiling of the Kodak Theater look like an upside-down pinball machine?
  • From this day forward, it shall forever be referred to as “The Academy Award winning The Golden Compass.”
  • Worst cue card reader of the night: Jennifer Hudson. Miley Cyrus had a more naturalistic delivery.
  • Does Owen Wilson blow his nose with a pliers?
  • Even though Bee Movie wasn’t nominated, wasn’t Jerry Seinfeld a sport for prerecording that side-splitting bit?
  • Winners of Best Animated Short should not be allowed to bring their toys on stage when they accepting their awards. The guy looked like a retarded adult.
  • Was Alan Arkin speaking as the drug addled grandpappy in Little Miss Sunshine when he said, “The Golden Age of Cinema is very much alive?”
  • By Jon Stewart’s standards, 71-year-old Jack Nicholson is still the most fertile man in Hollywood.
  • Judging by their inarticulate best adapted screenplay acceptance speeches, it’s no wonder Joel and Ethan Coen’s No Country for Old Men is a word-for-word transformation of Cormack McCarthy’s novel.
  • Academy president Sid Gannis is a real house of fire, isn’t he? His “how to” video on Academy voting makes Night and Fog look like a masterpiece.
  • Stewart’s “the baby goes to” bit tanked,
  • Biggest intentional laugh: Jonah Hill coming back after presenting an award and saying, “Good evening, I’m Miss Halle Berry.” He didn’t fool me, though. Hill didn’t hit anyone on the drive over.
  • Christopher Rouse, best editing winner for The Bourne Ultimatum, is the son of Russell Rouse, the auteur behind THE OSCAR! Now do you understand?
  • From this day forward, it shall forever be referred to as “The three time Academy Award winning The Bourne Ultimatum. “
  • Nicole Kidman appears to be consulting The Joker’s plastic surgeon.
  • For awhile it looked as though he wouldn’t make it, but 98-year-old Robert Boyle delivered the speech of the night.
  • Keep those Sid Ganis cutaways coming!!!
  • Classiest moment of the night: Jon Stewart bringing Marketa Irglova back to finish her best original song acceptance speech.
  • Biggest unintentional laugh of the night: Clips of crybaby Spielberg winning his Schindler’s Oscar.
  • Just because Tom Hanks was in Saving Private Ryan shouldn’t automatically make him the liberal spokesman for America’s military.
  • Note to Diablo Cody — Wilma Flintstone wants her dress back. (Credit John Schultz!)
  • Jon Stewart introduced Him as simply, “The great Martin Scorsese.”
  • For those who have seen Swimming With Sharks, the Kevin Spacey character is allegedly based on Scott Rudin. This guy is supposed to be one of Tinsel Town’s most ruthless, egomaniacal a–holes which makes his saccharine reference to his life partner as “honey” a hundred times funnier.
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Oscar Show rundown, complete and timed to the second!

February 24th, 2008 by Scott Marks

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I don’t know when or how, but some time during tonight’s
broadcast, there will be Hope!

Want to know the perfect time to throw a bag of corn in the microwave or pay a visit to the commode during Hollywood’s yearly reenactment of the Bataan death march? Here’s your blow-by-blow breakdown of tonight’s festivities.

Looks like there will be no Irving Thalberg award (never liked him anyway after what he did to the Marx Bros.) or a Jean Hersholt giveaway for that matter. There is buzz about Nicole Kidman paying tribute to either Sydney Pollack and/or Heath Ledger, but nothing is confirmed. The only honorary award will go to production designer par excellence Robert Boyle.

The show starts at 5:30 (PT). The picture runs three hours and twenty-nine minutes (giver or take a commandment); there will be many intermissions.

I want to thank all of you who read Emulsion Compulsion on a daily basis. I love everybody! Gotta’ go…the red light is blinking. (Blows kisses to audience.)

OPENING MONOLOGUE: 6 minutes

AWARD #1: COSTUME DESIGN
Jennifer Garner: 5:50 PM (PT)

AWARD #2: ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway

AWARD #3: MAKEUP
Katherine Heigl: 5:57

BATHROOM BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #1 :6:03:09
“Happy Working Song” 2:07
Amy Adams-vocs, orchestra

AWARD #4: VISUAL EFFECTS
Dwayne Johnson: 6:09

AWARD #5: ART DIRECTION
Cate Blanchett: 6:13

Laughter ensues when Jon Stewart jokes about Blanchett’s double nomination as Queen Elizabeth and Bob Dylan.

AWARD #6: ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Jennifer Hudson: 6:18

PRESENTER INTRO PERFORMANCE
Keri Russell: 6:27

POPCORN BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #2: 6:27
“Raise It Up”
Jamia Simone Nash, Impact Repertory Theatre of Harlem, Total Praise Community Choir, Orchestra

AWARD #7: LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
Owen Wilson: 6:30

AWARD #8: ANIMATED SHORT FILM
Barry B. Benson: 6:36

AWARD #9: ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Alan Arkin: 6:39

SCI-TECH AWARDS RECAP
Jessica Alba: 6:49:20

AWARD #10: ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
James McAvoy, Josh Brolin: 6:50

PRESENTER INTRO PERFORMANCE
Future Oscar winner Miley Cyrus: 6:57:38

PHONE BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #3: 7:00
“That’s How You Know”
Kristin Chenoweth-vocals, Dancers, Marlon Saunders-singer, Steel Drummer, Kids, Tuba Players, Chorus

AWARD #11: SOUND EDITING
For you youngsters in the audience, Jonah Hill & Seth Rogen: 7:06

AWARD #12: SOUND MIXING
More with Jonah Hill & Seth Rogen: 7:09

AWARD #13: ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Forest Whitaker: 7:15

SMOKE BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #4: 7:27:43
“Falling Slowly”
Glen Hansard-vocals, guitar, Marketa Irglova-vocals, piano

Jack Nicholson to present a montage of Best Picture winners over the last 80 years.

AWARD #14: FILM EDITING
Renée Zellweger: 7:33

HONORARY OSCAR TO ROBERT BOYLE
Nicole Kidman, Randy Thomas, Robert Boyle: 7:38

AWARD #15: FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Penélope Cruz: 7:47

PRESENTER INTRO PERFORMANCE (Patrick Dempsey)

OXYGEN BREAK / NOMINATED SONG PERFORMANCE #5: 7:54:46
“So Close”
Jon McLaughlin-vocals, Featured Dancers, Ballroom Dancers , Band Member Extras, Bill Conti

AWARD #16: ORIGINAL SONG
John Travolta, Ballroom Dancer-Valentina: 7:55

AWARD #17: CINEMATOGRAPHY
Cameron Diaz: 8:04

IN MEMORIAM TRIBUTE (3:00)
Hilary Swank: 8:11

AWARD #18: ORIGINAL SCORE
Amy Adams: 8:15

AWARD #19: DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Tom Hanks and Special Guests: 8:19

AWARD #20: DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Tom Hanks: 8:22

AWARD #21: ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Harrison Fordz-z-z-z-z-z: 8:30

AWARD #22: ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Helen Mirren: 8:37

AWARD #23: DIRECTING
Martin Scorsese!: 8:47

AWARD #24: BEST MOTION PICTURE
Denzel Washington: 8:49

GOODNIGHTS 8:53:49 (Jon Stewart)

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Oscar predictions and last minute thoughts on Hollywood’s longest night

February 23rd, 2008 by Scott Marks

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Oscar……………………………….Picks

At least we have one thing to look forward to: Marty is guaranteed to make an appearance to hand out this year’s best director award.

Admittedly, I have never been much use when it comes to handicapping the Oscars. As much as I enjoy the more ghoulish aspects of the ceremony, I detest what these prizes represent. Art shouldn’t compete especially when all everyone is concerned with is commerce. Besides, who cares about art when we have starlets on the red carpet eager for our evaluation of their designer gowns?

Contests to predict the winners have been going on for ages. In the late 70s, a high school chum dreamed that he entered the offices of the Chicago Tribune with chain in hand screaming “I’M HERE TO BEAT SISKEL.” My literal minded crony was fantasizing over the newspaper’s annual “Beat Siskel” contest that asked readers to outguess their prized critic’s Oscar picks.

Every year I tried to beat (down) Siskel and every year I lost. I haven’t a clue as to what (other than wind) goes through the minds of Academy voters. It might help if they were to occasionally nominate a picture that displayed something other than nice scenery and good intentions. Over the past twenty years, only three best picture winners (The Last Emperor, Unforgiven, Million Dollar Baby) appeared on my top ten lists. (The fact that it took the Academy decades to finally catch up with Clint Eastwood owes more to the law of averages rather than any genuine recognition of artistry.) Conversely, Rain Man, Schindler’s List, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, Shakespeare in Love, American Beauty, Chicago and Crash all found worthy homes in my critical dungeon.

In a not so bold attempt to make me look like a schmuck come Monday morning, here are the pictures and people that will probably lose simply because I prematurely envisioned them winners. My choices by no means indicate a film that deserves acclaim; it’s what my gut tells me the Academy voters will go for.

Best Picture: “Atonement,” “Juno,” “Michael Clayton,” “No Country for Old Men,” “There Will Be Blood.”

Best Actor: George Clooney, “Michael Clayton”; Daniel Day-Lewis, “There Will Be Blood”; Johnny Depp, “Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street”; Tommy Lee Jones, “In the Valley of Elah”; Viggo Mortensen, “Eastern Promises.”

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett, “Elizabeth: The Golden Age”; Julie Christie, “Away From Her”; Marion Cotillard, “La Vie en Rose”; Laura Linney, “The Savages”; Ellen Page, “Juno.”

Best Supporting Actor: Casey Affleck, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”; Javier Bardem, “No Country for Old Men”; Hal Holbrook, “Into the Wild”; Philip Seymour Hoffman, “Charlie Wilson’s War”; Tom Wilkinson, “Michael Clayton.”

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, “I’m Not There”; Ruby Dee, “American Gangster”; Saoirse Ronan, “Atonement”; Amy Ryan, “Gone Baby Gone”; Tilda Swinton, “Michael Clayton.”

Best Director: Julian Schnabel, “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”; Jason Reitman, “Juno”; Tony Gilroy, “Michael Clayton”; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men”; Paul Thomas Anderson, “There Will Be Blood.”

Foreign Film: “Beaufort,” Israel; “The Counterfeiters,” Austria; “Katyn,” Poland; “Mongol,” Kazakhstan; “12,” Russia.

Adapted Screenplay: Christopher Hampton, “Atonement”; Sarah Polley, “Away from Her”; Ronald Harwood, “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”; Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, “No Country for Old Men”; Paul Thomas Anderson, “There Will Be Blood.”

Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, “Juno”; Nancy Oliver, “Lars and the Real Girl”; Tony Gilroy, “Michael Clayton”; Brad Bird, Jan Pinkava and Jim Capobianco, “Ratatouille”; Tamara Jenkins, “The Savages.”

Animated Feature Film: “Persepolis”; “Ratatouille”; “Surf’s Up.”

Art Direction: “American Gangster,” “Atonement,” “The Golden Compass,” “Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street,” “There Will Be Blood.”

Cinematography: “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford,” “Atonement,” “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly,” “No Country for Old Men,” “There Will Be Blood.”

Sound Mixing: “The Bourne Ultimatum,” “No Country for Old Men,” “Ratatouille,” “3:10 to Yuma,” “Transformers.”

Sound Editing: “The Bourne Ultimatum,” “No Country for Old Men,” “Ratatouille,” “There Will Be Blood,” “Transformers.”

Original Score: “Atonement,” Dario Marianelli; “The Kite Runner,” Alberto Iglesias; “Michael Clayton,” James Newton Howard; “Ratatouille,” Michael Giacchino; “3:10 to Yuma,” Marco Beltrami.

Original Song: “Falling Slowly” from “Once,” Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova; “Happy Working Song” from “Enchanted,” Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz; “Raise It Up” from “August Rush,” Nominees to be determined; “So Close” from “Enchanted,” Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz; “That’s How You Know” from “Enchanted,” Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz.

Costume: “Across the Universe,” “Atonement,” “Elizabeth: The Golden Age,” “La Vie en Rose,” “Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.”

Documentary Feature: “No End in Sight,” “Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience,” “Sicko,” “Taxi to the Dark Side,” “War/Dance.”

Documentary (short subject): “Freeheld,” “La Corona (The Crown),” “Salim Baba,” “Sari’s Mother.” (No prediction.)

Film Editing: “The Bourne Ultimatum,” “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly,” “Into the Wild,” “No Country for Old Men,” “There Will Be Blood.”

Makeup: “La Vie en Rose,” “Norbit,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.”

Animated Short Film: “I Met the Walrus,” “Madame Tutli-Putli,” “Meme Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven),” “My Love (Moya Lyubov),” “Peter & the Wolf.”

Live Action Short Film: “At Night,” “Il Supplente (The Substitute),” “Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets),” “Tanghi Argentini,” “The Tonto Woman.”

Visual Effects: “The Golden Compass,” “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End,” “Transformers.”

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