BURL STIFF JEOPARDY!
April 5th, 2009 by Scott Marks
Let’s all play Burl Stiff “Jeopardy!”
4:00 a.m. April 5, 2009
by Earl Stiff
Society Columnist
The Shelter Island Lutheran Picayune
Alex Trebek was there, so was Merv Griffin, at least in spirit, when Uncle Burl’s soon-to-be ex-boss David Copley threw a party in his honor. Knowing that Uncle Burl is such a big fan of the quiz program Jeopardy!, Mr. Copley spared no expense building a full scale replica of the smash TV show’s set aboard his luxury yacht The Happy Days. He even convinced reclusive host Alex Trebek to attend in person and preside over the festivities.
Two days prior to taping George “King” Stahlman went to his reward leaving a sudden vacancy in the line up. (The King was invited to appear in the third position next to Mr. Copley and Uncle Burl.) The word for a replacement went out to Michael Turko, Dave Scott, the Lawyer in Blue Jeans, Margo Schwab, Irwin Jacobs, Mike Aguirre, Max Alexander, Bob Baker and Ian Campbell. No one would return our calls. Not even Father Joe. We tried Magda and Eva, but finally had to settle for Jahja. Jahja…Zsa Zsa? Get it? I’m joking, of course. The Maestro is a great kidder who never fails to get a kick out of my Gabor repertoire. And please don’t think that I am trying to besmirch the Maestro’s good name. When it comes to conducting, he’s strictly upper crust. Not sure he was the best choice for a game show. In this arena it would have been better to have someone with more sizzle like Joan Embery or Ruben Galvan.
We docked in Monaco to pick up Mr. Trebek and later St. Barthélemy where we met Mr. Ling, both of whom had been flown out by Mr. Copley at great expense, I might add. Andrew Shelton was on board to greet them, so was Happy Days chef Michelle Kish. Later, Copley took his guests to dinner at La Vignette Haute, Auribeau sur Siagne.
At first I thought they were going to give Uncle Burl a present. While walking past his stateroom on the Happy Days I overheard Mr. Copley on the phone telling the new owner, “Well, that wraps it up for Burl.” Some present! After 78 years of loyal service this is how they treat him. Even that guttersnipe Don Bauder is forecasting doom. In his smarmy little Reader blog he wrote, “I have always been told that Burl Stiff worked directly for David, not for the U-T. So, yes, he will be gone.” His deep seated jealousy over my Uncle’s career and title make my blood boil! Let me tell you all something: My Uncle worked hard to invent new transitional phrases and accurately transcribe the names of all those wealthy people. He deserves every cent he made off that column as well as all the jumbo shrimp he ever devoured! The good news is Uncle Burl accepted a job at Galaxy Studios as the man in charge of proof reading the closing credits.
As for me, bad luck must run in the family. E. Clark Brainard, publisher of the Shelter Island Lutheran Picayune, has decided that he is no longer in need of a social critic to cover nightlife on the Island. I was pink-slipped two-weeks ago and this is the last column I will be writing for them.
Thanks to Mr. Copley for throwing a bone my way and allowing me to write the following questions for Burl Stiff Jeopardy! That check for $70,000 sure came in handy. All of the following questions contain some variation on either “Burl” or “Stiff” or both in them. Please answer in question form and remember, this is your last chance to beat the other couples.
Former newspaper tycoon David Copley, Uncle Burl and San Diego Symphony music director Jahja Ling play “Jeopardy!” aboard The Happy Days.
JEOPARDY!
$100
A: This city is the capital of Germany.
Q: What is Berlin?
$200
A: It was the late Sam Kinison’s middle name.
Q: What is Burl?
$300
A: The film version of this David Rabe play stars Sean Penn, Kevin Spacey and Chazz Palminteri.
Q: What is Hurlyburly?
$400
A: If this actor/singer ever attended a party that Burl covered, the column item might read something like this: “Cottonmouth was there, so was Big Daddy and Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”
Q: Who is Burl Ives?
$500
Q: This third generation Chevrolet Camaro first came off the assembly line in 1979?
A: What is a Berlinetta?
DOUBLE JEOPARDY
$200
A: At first glance, you’d have thought Burl signed Igby Goes Down and 17 Again as opposed to their actual director.
Q: Who is Burr Steers?
$400
A: A Martin & Lewis vehicle or what Uncle Burl was when he first heard the paper found a buyer.
Q: What is Scared Stiff?
$600
A: What happened when Burl ran into Mr. Borgnine or the working title of a Jim Varney comedy?
Q: What is Ernest Scared Stiff?
$800
A: A part of a tree, prized for its beauty by many, in which the grain has grown in a deformed manner.
Q: What is a Burl?
$1,000
A: This British record label created in 1976 signed such New Wave legends as Nick Lowe and Elvis Costello.
Q: What is Stiff Records?
FINAL JEOPARDY ANSWER
A: If the Union Tribune had a sense of humor, this would have been the front page headline the day Milton Berle died.
Q: What is 
?
Note to David Black: While my Rolodex is nowhere near as prolific as my Uncle’s, I am on a first name basis with all the major players in Rolando, City Heights, Poway, Banker’s Hill, Lemon Grove and large portions of East County. Let’s do lunch!
Tags: Burl Stiff, David Copley, Game, JEOPARDY, Milton Berle, Quiz, San Diego, San Diego Union Tribune, union tribune soldFiled Under Uncategorized
Emulsion Compulsion Movie Trivia Quiz
October 29th, 2008 by Scott Marks
What Charlie Chaplin feature did Buster Keaton appear in?
Johnny, tell them what they win…
Nothing. Just my undying respect.
Jim Hemphill can’t play. He was probably around when I originally came up with most of these questions. For once, I dis-invite David Elliott from playing along. And something tells me Bushido John knows too much. The rest of you may leave your answers in the comments section.
Unlike the beloved Hitler on Film Quiz there will be no published answer key. I tried my best to make the answers unsearchable on imdb. I will gladly confirm correct answers and take the rest to the grave. Particularly when it comes to the final question which was tossed in my lap by Lloyd Sachs when he was writing at the Chicago Reader. In the era before the internet, it took me days of research to find the answer and I did it without help. So there!
Remember, this is your last chance to beat the other couples!
1. What film’s opening credit sequence misspells Katharine Hepburn’s name?
2. What film studio was the first ever to pay a star a million dollars for a single role?
3. In American Graffiti, John Milner’s (Paul LeMat) yellow coup has a unique license plate number. Name it.
4. What specifically do these three Shelly Winters films have in common: A Place in the Sun, Night of the Hunter and The Poseidon Adventure.
5. What is the only Bob Hope and Bing Crosby “Road” picture that ends with the violently insane Hope going off with Dorothy Lamour?
6. Frequently characters are shown standing outside theaters and/or going to the movies. Match the following movies with the films they appear in:
a. Ben-Hur 1. Goodbye, Columbus
b. Tess and Hardly Working 2. Dirty Harry
c. Dementia 13 3. The Godfather
d. Problem Child 2 4. The Big Picture
e. Pickup on South Street 5. The Collector
f. Rosemary’s Baby 6. Mean Streets
g. The Sorrow and the Pity 7. American Graffiti
h. Play Misty for Me 8. The Last Picture Show
i. The Searchers 9. Cape Fear
j. The Bells of St. Mary’s 10. Annie Hall
k. Father of the Bride 11. The King of Comedy
7. Match these fictional films being made and/or screened with the movies that spawned them:
a. Hey, Hey in the Hayloft 1. Love and Death on Long Island
b. Meet Pamela 2. The Bad and the Beautiful
c. Grapes of Winter 3. Matinee
d. Day the World Ended 4. Sherlock, Jr.
e. Curse of the Cat Men 5. The Oscar
f. Pearls of the West 6. CQ
g. Mant! 7. Barton Fink
h. Hot Pants College II 8. Sullivan’s Travels
i. Dragonfly 9. Day for Night
j. Devil on the Canvas 10. The State of Things
Continue reading Emulsion Compulsion Movie Trivia Quiz
Tags: Emulsion Compulsion, Games, movie games, movie trivia, movie trivia quiz, Quiz, tough triviaFiled Under Uncategorized
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