THE GODFATHER tops Empire magazine’s 10 best films of all time list

September 24th, 2008 by Scott Marks

“Are you trying to make me look ri-diculous?”

Did Moe Green put in a call to Paramount Home Video? As if in conjunction with Francis Coppola asking us to once again shell out money for yet another edition of The Godfather, Empire Magazine named his gangster epic the greatest movie ever made. Not a bad choice, but relax. It gets worse.

Rounding out the top ten are another Coppola picture, only one by Scorsese, David Fincher’s best movie, a ridiculously overrated prison picture, a crumb of Tarantino offal, two of the too many Star Wars pictures, two spielberg’s, nothing in black-and-white and only one film produced before 1970.

Won’t somebody please hand me a magnum in a manila envelope…

“No, Scott…DON’T!”

Read ‘em and weep:

1. The Godfather (1972)
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
3. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
4. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
5. Jaws (1975)
6. Goodfellas (1990)
7. Apocalypse Now (1979)
8. Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
9. Pulp Fiction (1994)
10. Fight Club (1999)

As much as I revere Apocalypse Now and Fight Club, they are both a safe distance from my pantheon. Honestly, none of these films, not even The Godfather (I’m a “2” man myself) would make my top twenty. Truth be told, half these nags wouldn’t make my top thousand.

The good news is, Empire Magazine is to serious film criticism what Citizen Kane is to kinesiology. Lists such as this depress me to no end. With all of the films released on home video, one would hope that Empire’s reader’s would display at least a modicum of film history. How many times must they watch that fanboy crap before taking a moment to look back at past forms? Who the hell am I fooling? I should be thankful that Empire’s list isn’t comprised of five by Lucas and five by spielberg.

Fanboy Faves For Ewe!

Here is a more sobering compilation to help strike back at Empire:

The Sight and Sound Critic’s Top Ten Poll for 2002:

1. Citizen Kane / Orson Welles (1941) USA
2. Vertigo / Alfred Hitchcock (1958) USA
3. The Rules of the Game / Jean Renoir (1939) France
4. The Godfather (1972) and The Godfather Part II (1975) / Francis Ford Coppola
5. Tokyo Story / Yazujiro Ozu (1950)
6. 2001: A Space Odyssey / Stanley Kubrick (1968)
7. Battleship Potemkin / Sergei Eisenstein (1925)
8. Sunrise / F.W. Murnau (1927)
9. 8 1/2 / Federico Fellini

To do what I do best, blurt out my opinions, here are my top twenty films of all time. The greatest? Probably not. Let’s call them the films I choose to take to hell with me:

1. Citizen Kane / Orson Welles (1941) USA
2. The Rules of the Game / Jean Renoir (1939) France
3. Touch of Evil / Orson Welles (1956) USA
4. Vertigo / Alfred Hitchcock (1958) USA
5. The Searchers / John Ford (1956) USA
6 Tokyo Story / Yazujiro Ozu (1950) Japan
7. The Life and Death of Col. Blimp / Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger (1942) Britain
8. Sherlock, Jr. / Buster Keaton (1924) USA
9. Written on the Wind / Douglas Sirk (1957) USA
10. L’Age d’Or / Luis Bunuel (1930) France
11. The Passion of Joan of Arc / Carl Theodor Dreyer (1928) Denmark
12. Sunrise / F.W. Murnau (1927) USA
13. Scarface / Howard Hawks (1930) USA
14 Once Upon a Time in the West / Sergio Leone (1969) USA/Italy
15. Casino / Martin Scorsese (1995) USA
16. Artists and Models / Frank Tashlin (1955) USA
17. In Harm’s Way / Otto Preminger (1965) USA
18. Some Came Running / Vincente Minnelli (1959)
19. Shock Corridor / Sam Fuller (1963) USA
20. While the City Sleeps / Fritz Lang (1956) USA

See the rest of my list here.

Tags: 10 best films of all time, empire magazine, george lucas, greatest movies ever made, r. budd dwyer, sight and sound ten best list, STAR WARS, Steven Spielberg, ten best films of all time, The Godfather, top 10, top ten

Filed Under News, Rants

National Lampoon parody movie ads

May 8th, 2008 by Scott Marks

As if preparing me for this Sunday afternoon’s date with dreck, I came across this ad from the 1978 National Lampoon Sunday Newspaper Parody. While not as rich as their hilarious high school yearbook vamp, the paper spoof still brought back a lot of memories and more than a few snide chortles.

Sadly, we’ve become so politically incorrect that much of what once passed for social criticism could not be posted for fear of harsh reprisal. And that’s just from my partner on the site, forget about Al Sharpton.

It’s safe to say that twenty minutes with a NatLamp parody is bound to be more enjoyable than Indiana Jones’ skull, although it may not produce as many laughs. I’ll let you know. In the meantime, enjoy a nasty chuckle.