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DVD Review: THE WAY WE WERE / Sydney Pollack (1973)

November 22nd, 2008 by Scott Marks

The Way We Were (1973)
Directed by Sydney Pollack
Written by Arthur Laurents
Starring: Barbra Streisand, Robert Redford, Bradford Dillman, Lois Chiles, Patrick O’Neal, Herb Edelman, Viveca Lindfors, Murray Hamilton and James Woods in his first film
Photographed by Harry Stradling, Jr. in Panavision and Eastmancolor
Running Time: 118 min.

Rating: ★½☆☆☆

Gene Siskel didn’t drive, and after the preview of The Way We Were (it sneaked with the Robby Benson film One On One), he stood in front of the Golf Mill Theatre looking for a cab.This was a few years before At the Movies transformed him into one of America’s most recognizable, if not top, movie critics. There weren’t many hacks cruising Milwaukee Ave. at 10:30 on a Friday night, so Gene accepted my offer of a lift home and was good enough to buy my friend and me a burger at the old Lum’s in Old Town. We all agreed that One on One was the better of the two and I’d probably still feel that way today were the same double bill presented to me.

Let’s begin with a couple of pet annoyances. When a character removes a pot from a hot stove and transfers a spoonful of its contents to another character’s mouth (who in turn winces from the scalding spoon), they should never handle and return said pot to their lap lest they covet third degree thighs.

Nothing undermines painstaking period detail quicker than an anachronistic haircut. Though the film takes place during and after World War II, Robert Redford’s thatched, Summer Boy headdress smacks of Santa Monica Pier c.1973. There is a running hair motif that has Streisand lightly adjusting the fallen locks of her goyisha-kup lover doll’s feathered do. The only man allowed to have hair hanging over his forehead in the 1940s was Hitler. Put away the damn blow dryers when you’re making a period piece! While of the subject of anachronisms, check out Patrick O’Neal’s swingin’ wardrobe. He looks like Peter Lawford subbing for Dickie Dawson on a game show.

Streisand plays an outwardly tough dame who alternates between fiercely independent and hopelessly needy. By day she’s a college student championing Leftist causes. (Her bedroom is painted red and she cries when FDR dies even though she has a huge picture of Uncle Joe Stalin hanging in her living room.) Away from the rallies she’s a virginal meeskite who turns into a lap dog the second Hubbell (Redford) is around. Spotting him in a bar she can’t wait to take him back to her place and hop Hubbell’s telescope. She’s a dishrag waiting for some buff surfer to come along and wipe his hands all over her.

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Emulsion Compulsion’s Top Ten Most Popular Posts

September 7th, 2008 by Scott Marks

With the Telethon still illuminating the inner recesses of my mind, I thought that with your kind indulgence ladies and gentlemen, you might allow me to add a dash of information to the entertainment and take you behind the scenes to further understand why we do what we do.  After several cost prohibitive toll calls to Emulsion Compulsion’s Fort Wayne, Indiana-based law firm Bigschnoz, Shylock and Cochran, I finally received permission to print these rather surprising statistics.

What follows is a list of the top ten biggest hit-getting posts in EC’s history.

  1. EC’s biggest hit-getter to date is also its most recent phenomenon. In a little over two weeks, the Gentlemen Prefer Blondes image gallery has received tens of thousands of visits. Not bad for a couple of girls from Little Rock!
  2. Rielle Hunter - EC was one of the first web sites to report on the National Enquirer’s discovery of John Edwards’ “love child.” I caught some shrapnel from a couple of EC regulars for devoting so much space to this seemingly non-film related caprice.  Hey, she’s a filmmaker. Shut up!
  3. Sydney Pollack - Once again, the Enquirer is my Shepherd. It leadeth me to the sad discovery that the beloved film director had terminal cancer. No one would dare print the Enquirer’s findings, except for yours truly. If you run “Sidney Pollack” and “cancer” through Google, EC still comes up in the top five. As much as I hate to admit it, this is the only decent and positive story to appear on this blog. Not only did it reach Mr. Pollack’s granddaughter, my coverage actually put the late director in touch with several of his high school cronies.
  4. Audrey Hepburn - Still the most beautiful and one of the most talented actresses of all time, the biggest shock is that Ms. Hepburn’s image gallery isn’t #1.
  5. Molly Cyrus and…
  6. Keith Ledger - Never underestimate the American publics’ inability to spell. It’s not foolproof, however. What works for Sherry O Terry, Sidney Pollack and Joel Wickland has no effect whatsoever on Jerry Louis or Martin Scorcese.
  7. Jerry Lewis - Considering the marvelous tchotchkes from my private warehouse stoked with Jerryabilia and all of crap I’ve written about my hero, I should change the name of the site to Timpani Compulsion.
  8. Earlier this year, I wrote a piece of 40 Movie Remakes planned by the studios which the gluttons for punishment that frequent this site couldn’t get enough of.
  9. Joan Crawford -  The anti-Audrey has quite a following on EC, particularly these before and after shots of the haggard Hollywood glamor queen.
  10. Finally, people seem to be genuinely interested in my list of Films to See Before You Die.

My personal favorite post is this one. While doing my daily “research,” I happened across the name Jerry Mahoney, half of my favorite childhood ventriloquist act.  Were people still talking about Paul Winchell’s puppet? Of course not. A Piscataway, NJ police officer named Jerry Mahoney was shot to death by his son John Mahoney, and all this reporter could see was Frazier’s father drawing a bead on a dummy. (Will Knucklehead be next?) People were outraged and EC received its one and only piece of hate mail, an angry letter from a Jersey resident claiming that I have “a sick mind.” In the words of Stan Schmenge, “That’s for sure!”

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