Blazing Bob Hope Dr. turns up charred corpse
June 13th, 2008 by Scott Marks
Police are investigating the death of a person found burned in a far east El Paso neighborhood. Last night around 9 pm, a 911 caller reported heavy flames coming from an empty lot on Lorenzo Ruiz Avenue and Bob Hope Drive.
Bob Hope Dr. in El Paso?!? This confirms earlier reports of a thought transponder concealed in an earth station somewhere in Texas.
Officials said the body was so badly burned they could not tell if it was a man, a woman or a Republican. (Seaman Jacobs wrote that.)
Lt. Mario Hernandez, spokesman for the El Paso Fire Department initially “thought that it was some type of mannequin” possibly similar to the one the street is named after.
The spirit of Hope permeates the neighborhood. Guillermo Flores, who lives near the crime scene, said, “To know that there’s a dead body here it’s pretty crazy.” Hey, I wanna’ tell you, that’s a wild, nutty homicide, ladies and gentlemen.
Pulling a Will Jordan, part-time impressionist Flores shifted gears by instantly transforming himself into SCTV’s Count Floyd and saying, “This is pretty scary.”
Links
Bob Hope photos, right here
Bob Hope was a very old, not so funny, violently insane psychopath
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Fight Club exposed at local high school after video posted on YouTube
April 10th, 2008 by Scott Marks
FIGHT CLUB Fall Fashion Catalog
The first rule of Fight Club is you do not post videos of Fight Club on YouTube.
Life imitated art in La Vernia, Texas where a bunch of rascally high school students fought hard to earn their fifteen minutes of fame. Their no-nonsense superintendent Dr. Tom Harvey really came down hard on the boys. “We don’t think this is entertainment or funny,” Dr. Harvey admonished. Why you I oughta…
You mean there’s nothing funny about a group of teens assembling in the bathroom to literally beat the crap out of each other because they saw it in a movie? C’mon! Let the kids have their macho fun. Besides, now that football season is over, how else are young American males supposed going to their brutish hostility?
As reported on WOAI-TV, “Dr. Harvey first heard rumors about these secret fights two weeks ago, but learned they were real after watching them at youtube.com. ‘Criminal complaints will be filed, we will not have it or tolerate it at our school,’” said the good doctor undoubtedly wagging a scolding finger. This guy must be a riot around the water cooler.
Calling it their fight club, these students are mimicking the 1999 David Fincher movie that starred Brad Pitt and Edward Norton. After seeing the video clips on youtube.com, Dr. Harey got a hold of La Vernia Police Chief Bobby Hyatt (no small feat when you consider how ticklish he is) and the high school’s liaison officer.
“My school officer, when she watched the thing, she could tell me every kid who was involved and she knew the voices and these kids actually called each other by names, so you knew who was involved with it,” said Chief Hyatt.
I’m warning you wise guy kids, watch your step or Chief Hyatt will put you on double secret probation.
Photos:
Fight Club stills and Fall Fashion Catalog Tags: Brad Pitt, David Fincher, Edward Norton, Fall Fashion Catalog, FIGHT CLUB, Fort Worth, High School, La Vernia, Movie Photos, Texas, Video, YouTube You Tube
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