1001 CLASSIC COMMERCIALS (2009) Disc 1 / Part 2
July 13th, 2010 by Scott Marks
Perhaps the biggest find in this section of “1001 Classic Commercials” is “Battleground,” a theatrical public service announcement starring Frank Sinatra. Years ago when I was managing Landmark’s Parkway Theatre in Chicago, one of the chain’s reps told me that he heard talk of a PSA starring a wheelchair bound Jerry Mathers as The Polio Victim. For years I asked around to see if anyone else had heard of this outlandish oddity and for years I drew nothing more than cheap laughs and astonished stares. Surely something like this would have emerged on a blooper reel or Dick Clark Production by now.
I had all but forgotten this Holy Grail of bad taste until “Battleground” hit the screen. This had to have been produced in the late 50s somewhere between “The Trouble with Harry” (1955) and right after “Leave it to Beaver” hit the air in 1957. Surely audiences would have cried fraud had this come out after Beaver Cleaver became a household name.
Sinatra at his Sy Devore swinginest walks into a sound stage hospital room to greet little Arnold Gordon “Gordy” Naldi (Mathers) cooped up in his bed playing with toy cowboys and Indians. Frankie gives him a wrapped present (probably a carton of Camels) and a pat on the head, reads his pitch against TB off cue cards and takes it on the arches presumably after one take. Frank is honest enough to admit that this “is a battlefield, make believe and real.” Unfortunately he calls the real battle the one The Beaver is fighting against tuberculosis. Along the way he also informs us that Gordy will spend the next three years of his life in the hospital due to a dissolved vertebra. It’s a good thing that CBS already had him under contract.
Gee, Wally. Maybe we shouln’t hang around Mr. Sinatra. We’ll get TB and turn out like Gwendolyn Rutherford.
This is obviously the PSA that the Landmark honcho had in mind. Like a game of Telephone it somehow got mangled through time and memory until it sounded even more outrageous than it is.
I wish that I could share this spot with you, but after Googling the title and star and all I came up with is a Jordin Sparks song and a PlayStation game. Believeme, this two minute pity pitch was worth the fivebucks it set me back. Long live Big Lots!!!
NOTE: Check the comments section. Prof. Rob Martinez posted a slightly shortened version of “Battleground” for us to enjoy.
DISC 1: TOYS & P.S.A.’s
TOYS (116)
ACTION FIGURES (11)
1. Eldon: Billy Blastoff – “Now He Walks!” (1960s)
2. Topper: The Ding-A-Lings – Get a Ding-A-Ling Shoe Shine (1970) 4 Minutes!
3. Marx: The Great Garloo (1960s)
4. Ideal: King Zor (1960s)
5. Ideal: ”Robert the Talking Robot (1954) 5 ½ Minutes
6. Ideal: Robot Commando (1961) 4 ½ Minutes
7. Marx: Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots (1966) With “Hazel’s” Bobby Buntrock
8. Ideal: The Zeroids (1967)
9. Ideal: Mr. Machine (1960)
10. Hasbro: “Remember: Only G.I. Joe is G.I. Joe!” (1960s)
11. Kellogg’s: Navy Frogmen Premium Comes Complete With a Free Supply of High Pressure Propellant Pills (aka: Baking Powder) For 25 Cents and 1 Box Top (1954)
BOARD GAMES (10)
1. Ideal: A Karate Expert, Samson the Strongman, A Monster Named Marvin & Davy Town of Merrick, Long Island play Wrestle Around (1960s)
2. Pressman: Roger Maris’ Action Baseball (1962) $2.98!
3. Pressman: The Divining Veda Board (1960s) Wasn’t she in “Blonde Savage?”
4. Mattel: Lie Detector (1960) With June Foray
5. Mattel: Sonar Sub Hunt Game to Blast the Russkies! (1960s)
6. Parker Brothers: Twister Rip-Off Funny Bones (1968)
7. Transogram: Monkey’s Uncle (1967)
8. Milton Bradley: Rack-O (1961)
9. Milton Bradley: Mystery Date (1960s)
10. Milton Bradley: Alan Sherman for Camp Granada (1965)
CARS/PLANES/BOATS (16)
1. Gilbert: Auto-Rama (1963)
2. Transogram: Dare Devil Trik Trak (1966)
3. Remco: Flying Fox Toy Cockpit (1959)
4. Marx: Big Bruiser (1960s)
5. Marx: Big Shot (1960s)
6. Remco: Mr. Kelly’s Car Wash (1964)
7. Kellogg’s: Flying Superman Premium 1 Box Top + 10 Cents (1950s)
8. Sold At Food Markets Only: Tiger Joe Tank (1960s)
9. “Toys of the Future” (1950s)
10. Transogram: Dare Devil Trik Trak (1966)
11. Sold At Food Markets Only: U.S.S. Battlewagon (1960s)
12. Remco; Whirlybird Helicopters (1960s)
13. General Foods: Johnny Lightning Double Trouble Free for 3 Cheerios Box Tops (1971)
14. Ideal: Polar-iffic Shark Pack Toy Boats (1960s)
15. Aurora: Speedline (1967)
16. Ideal: Thunder Streak (1960s)
DOLLS (18)
1. Mattel: Barbie, The Teen Age Fashion Doll’s First Commercial (1959)
2. Mattel: Barbie Meets Ken (1961)
3. Mattel: Barbie’s Dream House (1960s)
4. Mattel: Barbie & Ken’s Mix and Match Clothes (1960s)
5. Mattel: Barbie’s Color ‘N Curl (1960s)
6. Mattel: Malibu Barbie (1971)
7. Ideal: Have Fun Shampooing Betsy Wetsy’s Rooted Saran Hair (1960s)
8. Ideal: Betsy Wetsy Promotional Short (1954) 4 minutes
9. Mattel: Chatty Cathy (1960)
10. Mattel: Matty Mattel, Casper, Sister Belle Talking Dolls (1961)
11. Ideal: Patti Playpal (1950s)
12. Ideal” Shirley Temple Doll (1962)
13. Palitoy: Teeny Tiny Tears Doll (1965)
14. Hasbro: Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head With Cars and Trailer (1950s)
15. Ideal: Beautiful Crissy Has Beautiful Hair That Grows (1969)
16. Ideal: Beautiful Crissy Has Beautiful Hair That Grows (1969)
17. Ideal: Beautiful Crissy’s Cousin Velvet (1970)
18. Topper Toys: Suzy Cute Louis Armstrong (1964)
PLAYSETS (15)
1. Marx: Best of the West (1960s)
2. Sold Only At Food Markets: Deluxe Man in Space Set (1959)
3. Ideal: Mr. Machine Bumper (1960s)
4. Ideal: Count Down Electronic Missile Base, Wherever Good Toys Are Sold (1961)
5. Mattel: Major Matt Mason (1968) He Lives on the Moon (We May All Live There Soon)
6. Remco: Project Yankee Doodle Test Center (1964)
7. Remco: Voice Controlled Kennedy Airport (1968)
8. Ideal: Steve Canyon’s Jet Helmet (1959)
9. Marx: Carry-All Action Play Sets (1968)
10. Colorforms (1950s)
11. Remco: Movieland Drive-In Theatre with Patty Duke (1959)
Continue reading 1001 CLASSIC COMMERCIALS (2009) Disc 1 / Part 2
Tags: 1001 Classic Commercials, Ads, Barbie, Barbie and Ken, Barbies Dream House, Beautiful Crissy, beaver cleaver, Best of the West, bicentennial, Big Lots, Billy Blastoff, Billy Mumy, Bing Crosby, board games, Bobby Buntrock, Bugs Bunny, Captain Midnight, Cheerios, classic commercials, Clint Eastwood, Commercial, Commercials, Coney Island, Cowboy, Cue Cards, Danny Thomas, Dick Clark, Elmer Fudd, Etch-A-Sketch, Frank Sinatra, Game, General Foods, Greenie Stick-Em Caps, Gwendolyn Rutherford, Ideal, jack narz, James Cagney, Jerry Mathers, Joe DiMaggio, John Wayne, Johnny Seven, Kelloggs Cereal, Kurt Russell, leave it to beaver, Lionel Trains, Louis armstrong, Major Matt Mason, mark hamill, marx Toys, Mattel, Matty Mattel, Mental Illness, Milton Bradley, Movie, Mr. Machine, Nabisco, Ohio Arts, Otis Campbell, Ovaltine, parker Brothers, Parkway Theatre, Patty Duke, polio victim, Porky Pig, public service announcement, Remco, robert clampett, Rock Em Sock Em Robots, Roger Maris, Sears, Secret Sam, Short, Smokey the Bear, Steve Canyon, Superman, Suzy Cute, sy devore, Tab Hunter, Talking Dolls, Tiger Joe Tank, Topper, Toys, Trailer, Transogram, Two way Wrist Radio, U.S.S. Battlewagon, Union Station, Variety Club, VD, Wham-OReview: THE NATURE OF EXISTENCE / Roger Nygard (2010)
July 5th, 2010 by Scott Marks
AHA!
The Nature of Existence
Produced, Edited, Photographed and Directed by Roger Nygard
Featuring: Aha, Julia Sweeney, Irvin Kershner and Rev. Clinton J. Edison
Running Time: 94 min.
Rating: 
Roger Nygard’s “The Nature of Existence” follows the same design of William Arntz, Betsy Chasse and Mark Vicete’s fanciful direct-to-video hits “What the #$*! Do we (K)now!?” and “What the Bleep!?: Down the Rabbit Hole” and Peter Rodger’s dreadful “Oh My God,” documentaries that ask us to challenge our notions of being and reconsider our place in the grand scheme of things. With video camera in tow, Nygard charts the globe in order to find the answer to one of humankind’s most burning questions: “Why do we exist?”
His journey begins with a clean slate. While he interviews many spiritual and religious leaders, Nygard was born an Episcopalian (or “Catholic-lite” as he calls it) and spent the greater part of his time in Sunday School praying for classes to end so he could hit the free pancake buffet. His father died of multiple sclerosis when he was 13 and Nygard pretty much lived his life ignoring death’s inevitability. The whole “What’s the point?” debate began anew after the events of 9/11. With mass murder in the name of Allah beamed into every home in America, Nygard observes that it forced “a lot of people to rethink their place in the universe.”
Nygard’s initial inquiries go out to two friends, a C list playwright and a television writer honing his craft at The Improv. At a glance, Nygard’s first bona fide subject is a dead ringer for Ain’t It Cool News maharishi Harry Knowles. With a tree branch for a walking stick and brick-red lipstick to match his sweatshirt, Aha, a self-professed “transpersonal undoing-ator,” conducts regular seminars on how to channel life’s energy. When asked what his purpose is on this planet the corpulent cherub replies, “To be radiant as f***!”
You could have stopped the film right here as far as I’m concerned. Nine minutes in and already we have the winning answer.
Continue reading Review: THE NATURE OF EXISTENCE / Roger Nygard (2010)
Tags: Aha, Documentary, Frederick Wiseman, Irvin Kershner, Julia Sweeney, michael moore, Morgan Spurlock, Movie Review, Roger Nygard, THE NATURE OF EXITENCE, Trailer, TrekkiesFiled Under Reviews, Theatrical
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