Dig A Hole: Captain Lou Albano
October 14th, 2009 by Scott Marks
Louis Vincent Albano, wrestler, manager, actor, performance artist, monologist, born again Jesus freak, Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Connection architect and the man who turned a simple rubber band into a fashion statement has died. Captain Lou was76.
My knowledge of Captain Lou is limited to the years he performed under the aegis of Vince McMahon’s World Wrestling Foundation (WWF) and, of course, his brilliant acting career. Wrestlers seldom left their circuit and Captain Lou belonged to the WWF. (In Chicago we had Bob Luce’s Chicago Championship Wrestling and the American Wrestling Association.) It wasn’t until the WWF went nationwide that I heard of guys like Lou Albano and Hulk Hogan.
By the time the early 80s rolled around I had all but lost interest in professional wrestling. With the exception of occasional visits to the Hammond, Indiana Civic Center (where I swear to you wrestling was not fake), the thrill was gone. McMahon’s WWF freak show was more than enough to rekindle my interest.
Each week a bunch of us would meet at a friend’s house in Niles, pack the bong and seriously debate whether or not the pile driver should be banned. We occasionally went to the Rosemont Horizon to see matches live and all pitched in to watch “Wrestlemania.” Once the Mr. T subplot played its course the thrill was gone. Haven’t been to a match in decades and when I see them during a late night channel surf, I blithely click through.
While Captain Lou was not the handsomest wrestler, that distinction went to Butcher Vachon and his upside-down light bulb physique, he came damn close. His hair made Marty Allen’s look like Baron Von Raschke. He wore loud, mismatched clothing and long pointy chin whiskers lightly held together by a rubber band.
And Captain Lou has bigger breasts than Barbie and Midge put together, kids!
Easily the most fascinating component of each week’s televised matches was the WWF’s attempts to make wrestling synonymous with rock ‘n’ roll. Country and Western would have made more sense, but NBC would never have allowed that in 1983. They dubbed it the Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Connection and Captain Lou was the movement’s forefather. He played Cyndi Lauper’s father in the “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” video as well as several other of the peacock haired punkster’s MTV creations. As part of the shtick Captain Lou began making sexist statements about the singer and dames in general at various matches and live events. He even went so far as saying that he was her manager and the architect behind her success. The two stuck to the script and eventually buried the hatchet on the MTV/WWF special “The War to Settle the Score” in which Lauper emerged victorious.
(SIDEBAR: THE TECHNO WRESTLING CONNECTION - There is one song that I instantly associate with wrestling and it has nothing to do with rock. In 1978 I attended one of Bob Luce’s cards at the Chicago International Amphitheater. Per usual we arrived early. For over an hour before the show and between each match we were treated to one song: Meco’s “Disco Star Wars.” And those cats at Guantanamo Bay think they had it tough!)
Aside from his acting in the squared circle, Captain Lou also found a minor degree of success in movies and television. He actually worked for Brian DePalma in “Wise Guys.” I was all set to slam DePalma until I remembered that Joe Bob Briggs worked for Marty. Captain Lou also appeared in something called “Body Slam,” an episode of “Miami Vice,” opposite John Ritter in “Stay Tuned” and as “Mario” on the short-lived Saturday Morning kiddie fodder “The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!”
The cause of death was not disclosed. Captain Lou leaves behind his wife, Geri, four children and 14 grandchildren.
Celebrate the life and career of Captain Lou Albano with this very special edition of “Piper’s Pit”
Tags: Brian DePalma, butcher vachon, captain lou albano, captain lou albano dead, captain lou albano dies, captain lou albano obituary, cyndi lauper, lou albano, lou albano dead, lou albano dies, lou albano obituary, pipers pit, Video, vince mcmahon, Wrestling, wwf wrestlingFiled Under Obituaries
Wrestling great Vern Gagne kills nursing home resident with body slam!
February 26th, 2009 by Scott Marks
Razor Blades and Meat Slicer not included.
Mickey Rourke stole everything from Vern Gagne! Before The Wrestler, there was The Wrestler, an ultra low budget 1974 promo reel produced by (and starring) Vern Gagne and the AWA. It co-stars Ed Asner as a promoter who bucks the mob in order to keep his circuit clean. (With his shirt off, Asner has more hair than the floor of a barber college.) Gagne, commanding in the lead role, plays a fascinating variation on himself: a bald, bland, middle-aged good guy who never threw a low blow in his life. The shots of Gagne, in his civvies, studying 16mm prints of old fights while sequestered in his basement rec room make this a must-own.
Gagne, or as Mad Dog Vachon called him, “Gag-knee,” is now 82 years old, living in a care facility in Bloomington, Minnesota and suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. Verne must have consumed too much Dyna-Power on the morning of January 26. In the public lobby of the Friendship Village memory loss center, Vern got into a disagreement with fellow resident Helmut R. Gutmann, 97. Quicker than Sam Menacker could say “OH, MAN!,” Gagne lifted Gutmann off the floor and threw him to the ground, breaking his hip and injuring his head.
According to TwinCities.com, “Gutmann, an accomplished cancer researcher and violinist who fled Nazi Germany in 1936, was treated for his injuries but later was hospitalized again.” Mr. Gutmann never got a return match. He died Saturday.
TwinCities also reports “police were not called to the facility after Gutmann’s fall.” This can hardly be described as a fall. Gagne waited until the floor nurse was distracted and sandbagged Mr. Gutman. It’s never too late to fight dirty!
BTW, The Wrestler is a veritable “Who’s Who” of AWA winners and designated losers. The cast includes Billy Robinson, Don Muraco, Lord James Blears, Dusty Rhodes, Superstar Billy Graham, Nick Bockwinkle, Ray Stevens, H.B. Haggerty, Vincent McMahon, Larry Hennig, Wilbur Snyder, Ric Flair, Dick Murdoch, Greg Gagne, Jerry Wade, Dick “The Bruiser” Afflis, Reginald “The Crusher” Lisowski, Elaine Giftos and Harold Sakata as “Odd Job.” There are also stunning cameos by commentator Rodger “Katy Bar The Door” Kent and promoter/goniff Wally Carbo. Seeing ring announcer/interviewer/Mr. Electricity Marty O’Neil hit me harder than a toss into the turnbuckle. And, in an Academy Award worthy performance, Slammin’ Sammy Menacker adds more mirth than menace as the head of the Mafia. I grabbed the DVD for $5.00 at Frye’s Electronics. They have used copies starting at $1.61 on Amazon. You won’t go hungry.
Check out the TwinCitys.com story. There are brief bios of Mr. Gagne and Mr. Guttman.
Tags: AWA WRESTLING, harold sakata, Minnesota, odd job, the wrestler, the wrestler 1974, the wrestler ed asner, vern gagne, Vern gagne alzheimers, vern gagne kills man, WrestlingFiled Under Image Blog, News
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